About two weeks ago, I picked the kids up from school, and as I was pulling away from the curb, they started moaning that it smelled like poop. I ignored them because there are many complaints about bodily odors coming from the back of my van at any given time. A few seconds later, the scent hit me like a brick.
"Everyone check your shoes!" I hollered, crossing my fingers that it was one of the car pool kids because that would allow me to drop them off at home, smile at their mom, and shrug, "I'm so sorry! Good luck with that!"
But no, it was Daisy.
I threw her a Walmart bag (a testament that you should always have grocery bags in your vehicle) and had her take her shoes off and bag them up.
When we got home, I assessed the situation, and there was poop everywhere. It was on everyone's back packs and coats, and all over the carpet and seats.
It took a family effort and two loads of laundry to get it all cleaned up, but I was fortunate that the shoes Daisy was wearing were old and nasty, so I had no guilt about throwing them straight in the garbage.
Five days later, it happened all over again. We went through the exact same series of events that we went through the first time. Someone sniffed and started yelling, "It smells like poop!" Then I caught a hint of it, slammed on the breaks, and yelled, "Daisy! Did you step in poop again?"
Yep. She did.
And I lost it!
Because it was all over every coat and every backpack and the carpet and the seats... again.
(May I interject here that the next day I walked the exact path Daisy walks to the van each day thinking that there must be dog poop everywhere - how else could my daughter step in poop twice in five days? Yet I saw only one pile of poop. It had shoe print in it and was followed by several poopy footprints. So no. There is not poop everywhere. It only takes a single poop, and Daisy will find it with her amazing poo homing abilities).
Since the van smelled like poop, everyone started unrolling their windows. I didn't think anything of it until Zoe started screaming something hysterically. Then Nicky began yelling over her trying to translate. After a lot of shouting and sobbing, I figured out that one of our reindeer antlers had fallen off the van (because we drive a reindeer van... whatever... it is what it is). I looked in my rearview mirror, and the antler was in the middle of the road quite a ways back. So I pulled over, and sent Nicky to get it. Zoe followed him, and when they came back, she was more hysterical than she'd been when she'd gotten out of the van.
I asked, "What on earth is going on?" Then Nicky explained to me that right before they approaches the antler, a car ran over it and cracked it.
(Can you see why Shannon and I so frequently use #poopwins? Poop really does win. It rules all!)
We went home, Zoe crying the whole way, where I made Daisy clean the mess up herself. Hopefully the logical consequence of having to clean the poop will help her watch where she is going.
The next day, a kind friend dropped off a new set of reindeer ears for our van.
And thus ends our poopy Christmas tale. We are now one week dog poo free.
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