Phases, Stages, and the Things I Didn't See Coming

This morning, during an hour that I prefer to not be awake, Zoe started yelling in her sleep. It made me jumpy because it reminded me of a time when Daisy used to have night terrors.

For about a year, Daisy would start screaming around midnight each night, and she would be completely inconsolable. We couldn't rouse her or calm her down. We could get her to stand up, and she would nod or shake her head if we asked her questions, but she wouldn't wake up or stop wailing, and she never made sense.

We ended up having to have her sleep on our bedroom floor because she woke up the other kids every night. Eventually we figured out that we had to get her wet to stop the terrors, so each night, when she'd start screaming, we'd drag her into the bathroom and run her hands under cold water. If that didn't work, we'd put her in the tub and spray her.

It was a really, really difficult phase that I hope we never have to go through with another child.

Thinking about the night terrors got me thinking about some of the other fun things we've had the opportunity to deal with as parents. In addition to all of the usual kid sicknesses (croup, hand foot and mouth, bronchiolitis, and the like), here are some of the things our children have provided us experience with:

• Hematoma on the skull
• Reflux (we are pretty much throw up professionals)
• Dislocated elbows (4)
• Iron deficiency
• Restless leg
• Umbilical cord compression
• Chronic constipation (requiring constant supervision and intervention)
• Long-term bed wetting
• Chronic nose bleeds (that gush for 30-40 minutes - these are not cute, little nose bleeds. They look like a murder scene) 
• Nose cauterization (didn't work, needs to be redone in the O.R.)
• Six crowns + 3 cavities on one child at one time
• Stitches in the face
• Eczema
• Suppositories
• Tubes (twice)
• Tonsils and adenoids removed
• CT scan because the kid's head was too big
• Warts
• Breech baby

We've also had the privilege of having our son strapped into one of these baby torture devices for a chest x-ray:

He fought so hard that they had to re-do the x-ray several times because he was making the table roll away (even with the brakes in place).

That was a great day...

It's kind of funny (in a sick, twisted way) to think about some of the routines we've had to develop to help our children get through life. We have the Nose Bleed Routine wherein Nicky's nose begins to gush, and we react instinctively as if we've been programmed exclusively to handle bloody noses. We roam the house at night like zombies, heating rice bags and administering iron supplements when Nicky's legs start hurting. We cringe and pop those elbows back in place. 

When you have kids, you do what needs to be done... because what else can you do? You take the blankets outside and fling the puke into the bushes, you scrub the blood off the bathroom floor, you change the sheets... and then you do it all over again the next time. 

I think if I'd seen this list prior to having children, I would have second-guessed my desire and ability to be a mother. Luckily I went into it naively.