Of Winners and Losers

I have a freakishly good memory when it comes to names, faces, and general information about people. Sometimes it’s a blessing, but sometimes it’s a curse. It makes me seem a little stalker-ish at times. I always know who everyone is, and I can usually tell you a few random facts about a person who doesn’t remember ever meeting me.

Creepy, no?

I used to work at a country store for a local dairy. I made ice cream cones, stocked the shelves with milk, and wore an apron with cow spots on it. Fun times! As a cashier, I knew 90% of the customers by name because they paid with checks or debit cards. The other 10% were either first-time customers, or paid with cash, but even with cash-paying customers, I usually knew what they wanted, and if I saw them walk in while their product of choice was out-of-stock, I’d run back and throw some on the shelves before they could blink an eye.

One day, while not at work, I was listening to the radio when the DJ announced the winner of a Disneyland trip for four. I recognized the winner as one of the dairy customers. A few days later, when she came in to the store, I congratulated her on her big win and asked about her plans. She told me who she was taking and when they were going and how excited she was. Then she said, “I can’t believe I’ve won three trips in a row!”

“What!?!” I replied.

“Yeah, this is the third trip we’ve won from the radio station. Every time I enter, I win.”

She told me about the cruise she won and the trip to Disney World. She explained that she can only win once every two years because of the radio station guidelines, so she only enters every-other year, and she always wins.

It made me sick. Why? Because I’m a natural born loser. I never win contests or games of chance. I don't get chosen for giveaways or have my number drawn for raffles. If luck is the primary determinant in winning, I don't win!

Need I mention my intense dislike for BINGO?

The other day Scotty and I went to a 25th Anniversary party for his work. All of the employees in attendance were entered into a drawing to win $5,000. Scotty and I both immediately tuned out because we knew we wouldn't win (you might call this pessimism, but for natural born losers like us, it's just realism). During the drawing, I had a moment where I promised Fate that if we won that money, we would pay our 10% tithing to the Church then donate the rest to a family in need (I even had the family picked out). I just wanted to see if having a big heart is what makes people winners.

Guess what!

It's not.

Of course we didn't win!

(And good thing, too, because, if we'd won, I would have had to tell Scotty about Fate).

I recovered quickly from our loss because I knew that, even though I can't win by chance, I can still win by skill. Unfortunately, the very next night, for the first time in two years, I didn't win Risk.

So I guess I'll never win a free trip or a wad of cash, and from the looks of it, I won't ever make it three years undefeated in a board game. But I'll always remember that there was a lady who won three trips in a row from the local radio station, and her name was Nancy, and she drank 2% milk.