Wherein I Rate The Components of Utz Pub Mix From Least Favorite to Favorite

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #1:

Life Lessons

Scotty and I used to buy Pub Mix regularly for road trips and camping. It’s been a really long time since we bought any, but over the past couple of months, I’ve eyed it at Sam’s Club as a potential summer adventure snack. There’s something that has deterred me from buying any, though:

The newly added fake Cheetos! 

Utz has changed their Pub Mix, and while I enjoy Cheetos from time to time, they do not belong in Pub Mix. I caved, though, and decided to buy some last week.

Let me tell you, I was right about those fake Cheetos. They should not be there. I shouldn’t even be calling them Cheetos, because they’re not Cheetos, but I don’t know what else to call them. They are knock-off Cheetos. They have a terrible texture and a horrible flavor. They taste stale, and I would assume their purpose is to be a cheap filler for Pub Mix. There are also way too many of them. 

They are the worst part of the Pub Mix. I ate around them and expect to throw them all in the garbage, making 30% of my Pub Mix inedible. 

Now let’s talk about pretzels. 

I like pretzels. All kinds. All shapes. 

But the pretzels in Utz Pub Mix are lacking. They have a bit of a staleness to them, like their fake Cheetos friends, and there are just way too many pretzels in the mix. I think Utz tries to hide this by offering two different shades of pretzels. 

Unlike the stale Cheetos, I’ll at least eat the pretzels. They’re not great, though. 

Then there are the rice-y things. You know… stuff like these:

I don’t know what any of these are called, but they’re alright. I think what makes them enticing, though, is their scarcity. Utz has made them so uncommon in their pub mix that it makes you excited to get one! They’re probably  not actually good, but we’ve been fooled by their rarity. 

Fortunately we have bagel chips to make up for some of the more blah ingredients. According to AI, the dark ones are Worcestershire flavored and the light ones are nacho cheese. Luckily, they actually have some crunch and don’t seem stale.

I have to say, I prefer these bagel chips to the ones in Gardetto’s. I don’t really care for the ones in Gardetto’s. But Gardetto’s has other offerings that are superior to Utz. 

The best part of Pub Mix, in my opinion, is the sesame chips.

These are the real treat! But what makes them delicious is having to wade through (and consume) all the other components co the mix. Yummy as they are, it wouldn’t be the same to have a bowl full of them. You have to eat them alongside a stale pretzel and a a nacho bagel chip to really appreciate them, much like I have noted with buttered popcorn Jelly Bellies.

Therein lies the life lesson - to truly enjoy the best parts of living, we have to have the not-so-great parts. 

Now who wants to eat all my stale Cheeto rejects? (Life lessons aside, this nonsense has no place in my snacks).