Back to School Lesson 2018

School is fast approaching, and I am equal parts excitement and dread. There are things I love about having my kids in school. I love that they get to see their friends everyday. I love the structure and the extracurricular activities. I love that I have a team of teachers helping me educate my children, and I appreciate more than anything when a teacher loves my kids and looks out for them.

But there are things I don't love about having my kids in school. I don't love the bad influences that come into their lives. I don't love sending them out into the world where they might be scared or hurt. I don't love getting them ready every morning, and I don't love feeling like I live in my van (this year I will make three trips to the school each day, and on days my kids have extracurricular activities, I will make four trips).

Each year before school starts, we have a back to school Family Home Evening. We did our back to school lesson this week, and I thought I'd share what we did so A) I can use it again later and B) you can steal ideas if they suit your family's needs.

Right now, Nicky struggles with negativity and Daisy struggles with anxiety, so my focus for this activity was to help them with those things as they head back to school.

I included an LDS scripture and a hymn, but the lesson plan is not religious.

____________________________________

BACK TO SCHOOL LESSON 2018

Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, 

for I the Lord am with you.

D&C 68:6

Suggested song:
You can Make the Pathway Bright (228)
____________________________________

Section 1: BODY LANGUAGE

I started by writing the word POSITIVE on a small white board. I told my kids I was going to show them a word, and on the count of three, I wanted them to say the word.

I asked them what it means to be POSITIVE. Collectively, we agreed that being positive means you can find good in what's going on around you.

Then I asked them, "What would your body look like if you felt POSITIVE?"

I had them stand up and show me. They hadn't ever thought about their body language, so I gave them some prompts like, "What would your shoulders look like? Where would your eyes be? What would your mouth be doing? How would you walk?"

Then I asked them to show me what their bodies would look like if they were feeling NEGATIVE. I tried to help them see what their bodies do based on how they feel.

I then erased POSITIVE and wrote CONFIDENT. I showed them the board and had them say the word.

I asked them what CONFIDENT means. We decided that confident means you feel good about yourself, and you believe in yourself.

I asked then to demonstrate CONFIDENT with their bodies. Then I asked them to show me what their bodies are like when they feel bad about themselves.

I explained that how we carry our bodies can affect the way we think and feel. We practiced different postures and talked about how our day might go if we walked around in these different positions.

Then for two minutes we practiced standing firm with our chins up, our faces smiling, and our shoulders back. My kids thought this was silly, but by the end of the activity, they were smiling and feeling good. I told them that if they form a smile on their faces, even if it isn't sincere, it can make them feel happy (Lyubomirsky. 2008). I asked them what they thought would happen in they started each day by standing in front of the mirror in that position for two minutes. With much resistance, they agreed that it might help them have more CONFIDENCE and be more POSITIVE.

I then taught them about power posing. We stood in our power poses (I taught them the Wonder Woman stance, which is my power pose of choice). Then we talked about situations where we can bust out a power pose to increase our CONFIDENCE.

Some of our ideas were:

• Power posing before doing an oral report or presentation in class
• Power posing before walking into a new or unfamiliar place
• Power posing before talking to someone new
• Power posing any time we feel nervous or hesitant

(If you're not familiar with power posing, watch this TED Talk. If you need to shortcut it, I recommend starting at 12:45 and then 19:45 to get the gist of it, however, it's worth watching the whole thing. You might also check out this article defending Amy Cuddy's research. I am a believer in power posing. It has helped me in several situations where I lacked confidence, and when I was feeling very nervous).

The point of this section of the lesson was to give my kids some body language tools they can use to improve their thoughts and feelings. I explained to them that when we are feeling down, nervous, scared, or negative, we can make adjustments to the way we carry our bodies, and it can help us feel different.

Section 2: HERO BOARDS

The next activity we did is an idea I adapted from Kirk Duncan. We created hero boards (Kirk calls them "hero walls," but I like "boards" better). Here is a short video where he explains them briefly, however, I heard him speak about them in more detail at a workshop I went to with Shannon, so I had my kids do something a little more elaborate than you see here:

For the hero boards, I first had them brainstorm a list of PEOPLE THEY LOOK UP TO. They could be people they know (like Grandpa), fictional characters (like Harry Potter), or people they have never met, dead or alive (George Washington or Steph Curry). I asked them to think of 4-8 (that way there was flexibility and they weren't overly stressed about it). Kirk recommends giving your kids total freedom in creating this list. Don't try to sway them to put a certain name (religious figures are great to use but shouldn't be forced). Ask the kids about each name and what qualities they like in that person. This helps you learn about who your kids are watching and who they look up to.

(Just a note: in the video above, Kirk says that children with low self-esteem sometimes struggle to identify heroes. I found this to be true with one of my kids. We will be trying to identify heroes over the next few weeks to complete this child's hero board).

After this I had them brainstorm a list of words of 4-8 power adjectives that they WANT TO DESCRIBE THEM.

Then we took those words and those names and drew a hero board like this:

(Forgive the poor image. Creating the visual was an afterthought, and I needed to get it done quickly, and it didn't turn out all that great).

Here's a description of what's going on in the image:

The person in the middle is the person creating the hero board (the people should be labeled, but to keep it from being overwhelmingly wordy, I left those labels off). The person is surrounded by powerful words - things he can become or might already be. The people on the outside are the heroes. This creates a visual of the child being surrounded by powerful adjectives to describe him and people he can look up to.

On the left, I wrote a description of my child's good qualities (some he has and I see him developing). It's just a 3-4 sentences. Then on the right, Scotty did the same. So each kid has a message from mom and a message from dad.

I told my kids to hang these up in their rooms, and throughout the school year, they can look at them and see how great they are and how many amazing people they have to look up to. I also told them they can change their hero boards any time they want.

The purpose of this activity was to give my kids a positive vocabulary to associate themselves with and create a visual of people they can look up to.

For follow up, I hope to encourage my kids to be POSITIVE and CONFIDENT this school year by paying attention to their bodies and using powerful words to describe themselves.

On the first day of school, I like to show my kids a video before they leave home. Last year they watched this one:

This year I'm going to show them Jessica's Daily Affirmation:

And they will hate this, but I'm going to make them do their own affirmations using their hero board before they go to school, and if they won't do it, I'll do it for them. I'll stand in front of them and use my best Jessica actions while saying, "You love to learn! You love to help others! You are awesome, funny, and brave! And most of all... you love your mom!"