While the Eggs are Boiling

Every morning, the first thing I do upon waking is find my place in space and time. Where am I, and what day is it? As soon as I know that I'm in my bed, and that it's [insert day here], I move on to the next question: What am I stressed about today? 

This probably isn't the healthiest practice, but remembering my stress is one of the first things I do each morning. Then I spend the rest of the day freaking out accordingly.

This week and next week, I'm beta testing some workshop lessons on stress for my internship.

Funny, right?

And what I'm getting to here... eventually... in a round about way... is that stress is the reason I've decided to blog today. I've always thought of blogging as something I shouldn't do when I'm stressed. After all, I don't often yield the most quality writing when I'm freaking out about something, and if I'm using time to blog, I'm not using time to tackle what is stressing me out.

Side note: You should also know that in addition to being highly stressed right now, I'm also very, very angry - that's not a good time to blog since I have a hard time controlling what I say, and I feel like I'll explode and tell the world off any second.

But since I've written a workshop curriculum on stress, I now know that engaging in a creative hobby for a brief period can be an effective stress coping mechanism. So I should be blogging while I'm stressed. Writing can help me get into a state of flow, and flow is healing.

So let's make a deal:

If I whine about life being hard and not having the time or ability to accomplish everything I need to (particularly for school), and yet, I take the time to write a blog post, you won't judge me on my time management skills. Mmkay? Cuz you will know that I'm seeking flow through writing. I'm medicating! Let me sip the sweet nectar without judgement.

With that, let me tell you ten honest things about life right now:

Honest thing #1: I'm hard boiling some eggs (just had to throw that in there to validate my title)

Honest thing #2: I am on the brink of a breakdown

Honest thing #3: I'm not sure what this particular breakdown is going to look like when it hits. I don't think I'm going to cry. It's going to be an angry breakdown. I'm probably going to punch something or say something awful to someone. It will be some sort of angry tantrum, and it will probably be brought on by something stupid like a comment about the weather. I'll keep you posted.

Honest thing #4: The breakdown is a result of lots of tiny things piling up at once. Individually, I can handle each "thing." Collectively, the "things" are going to take me down!

Honest thing #5: I really want a day where I can just eat, sleep, and watch TV all day. I want to lay in my bed with my phone and the remote, and I want to leave my front door unlocked and have people bring me food. But I don't want to see the people, so I'm going to need to install a dumbwaiter.

Honest thing #6: My eggs are done, and they are perfect! WIN!

Honest thing #7: I can't handle criticism in any form.

Honest thing #8: My kids have watched TV all day for almost an entire week.

Honest thing #9: I have a two-year-old who is constantly crying and clinging to me, so I feel like I can't get anything done. By the time she naps in the afternoon, I have no energy to do anything productive, and I usually pass out on the living room floor.

Honest thing #10: I bought a battery-powered pepper grinder on clearance at Sam's Club, and I don't know how to put the peppercorns in. Now I'm reconsidering my intelligence.