Wherein I am Losing my Mind

I can't help but notice the drastic effect that being a mother has had on my cognitive function. Ten years ago, I never would have believed that my mind could be so muddled and foggy, but with each kids it gets worse (that's one reason I have to stop at four - my brain can't handle any more).

Two things have happened this week (among several other smaller things) that indicate that I have "lost it."

Let's start with this morning when I almost left my house with no pants on.

I rolled out of bed at 6:30 and grabbed my running gear which I had set by the bed late last night. I took everything downstairs where I then sat down to put my running shoes on. I stood up and went into the kitchen to get my arm band and ear buds. When I came back into the living room to go out the front door, I saw a wad of black clothing on the floor, and that's when I realized... I was in my underwear.

This is an easy mistake to make since I wear religious underclothing, and they kind of have the same feel as workout clothes.

If I hadn't seen that wad of clothes on the floor, I totally would have started running in my underwear. How far would I have gotten? How many people would have seen? (Note that I live on a busy road, and this was during the morning commute). Would anyone have honked at me?

You know when you almost hit something with your car, but at the last second, you realize what's about to happen and you either swerve or slam on your breaks to avoid catastrophe? The physiological response of realizing you almost left the house in your underwear is very similar.

After I discovered my error, I obviously needed to put pants on (and a shirt, for that matter), but it takes so long to lace up my running shoes (foot drama! Oy!) that I didn't want to take my shoes back off. I practically destroyed my pants whilst stretching them over my ski boat shoes only to discover that I'd put them on inside out.

I left them.

Every now and then, my hand brushes against the tag, and I remember that I'm still wearing them... six hours later.

The other thing that happened was even more of a doozy!

A few weeks ago, Scotty and I booked a trip to Disneyland for later this year. The company we went through sends a big package in the mail with drawstring backpacks and lanyards for everyone, plus the tickets. The package came last week. I opened it while sitting in my van in the garage.

The next day, Scotty asked what I did with the vacation package.

I couldn't remember doing anything with it, so I assumed it was still out in the van. Scotty checked the van and couldn't find it, so I went out to check, expecting for it to be right in plain sight, at which point I could boast and say, "It was right there, silly!"

Yeah... I couldn't find it.

I had no memory of what I'd done with it. I scoured the van, the garage, and the house and couldn't find it anywhere. I started mentally walking through what had happened when I'd come home the day before. I opened the package and then I came in the house. Daisy had dance class, so I ran her to class and came back home. I was in and out a lot during the hour after I checked the mail.

I started to wonder if I could have thrown it away. Sometimes when there's junk mail, I'll take it straight to the outside garbage can before I come in the house, but that seemed impossible. I wouldn't, nay, couldn't have thrown it away. That would've been beyond stupid!

I walked around the house, opened the garbage can, started sifting through, and sure enough... there it was, lying right at the bottom of the can! And not only had I thrown the whole package away, I'd first stuffed it full of garbage from my van! Baby wipes, grocery ads, a Pringles can, sucker sticks from the bank, and even a few pinecones my kids had dragged in.

I was horrified as I realized that I have become a person who throws away vacation packages! And it's not like they came in a tiny envelope that could easily get lost between two pieces of junk mail.

No. No!

This was a package! With backpacks and lanyards in it! It was BIG!!!

{My face after The Retrieval}

And it wasn't just our tickets. It was my in-laws' as well!

I threw away seven five-day passes to Disneyland, and if my husband hadn't asked about where I'd put them, I never would have known what happened to them. This could have ended quite badly.

I think I need constant supervision.