The Dirty Little Mistubishi

This year has brought a lot of unexpected change for us. One plot twist that we stumbled upon recently is Scotty getting a new job. With that new job, Scotty gets to use a company vehicle, so we've decided to sell his car.

Here's the thing, though: Scotty's car is disgusting. He pretty much lived out of it while he was finishing his degree, and I thought he'd be better about keeping it tidy after he graduated, but it turns out, being gone for 16 hours a day had nothing to do with it. Scotty is just a messy fella. I would never even dare show you what the inside of his car looks like because it's too embarrassing. But I can give you some insight into the sort of things I found while cleaning it out.

Let's start with the golf balls.



Scotty has always had a massive stash of golf balls in his car (even his previous cars). I guess that's something you do when you go golfing once a year. Heaven forbid you be without your balls! I found at least fifty in his car. I am not exaggerating!

There were also divot replacers, tees, and score sheets. Oh, and an entire set of golf clubs.

After I got the golf balls rounded up, I got this strange phone call. It was 1995. They wanted their hacky sack back. Fortunately, I found that, too!

 

It was right next to the large googley eye.

I came across some markers Scotty "found" at the church. I recall the conversation we had about them over a year ago:

Me: Did you steal those from the church?

Him: I found them in my classroom.

Me: So you just kept them?

Him: I found them in my classroom.

We can return them now.

I found a lot of miscellaneous things like zip ties, the pistachios I gave Scotty for his birthday last year, a Barbie DVD, and fireworks. 

I found a lot of race memorabilia - a Redrock Relay tattoo, a Saloman window sticker, a piece of a Ragnar medal, and a few race bibs including this one:

Scotty has this thing where he refuses to clean any Spartan dirt out of his car. There are mud smears on the arm rests from three years ago. I'm not sure this will be a selling point.

I was pretty excited about the full stick of women's deodorant.

 

For a minute, I thought I'd discovered Iron Man's missing knee cap, but then I realized it was just a bunch of tangled fishing reels. 

Fishing poles in car: 6.  

Nicky had a false alarm where he thought he'd found some money:

I found four socks, 36 pens, 12 pencils, and 8 partially used packs of gum. He had two coats, a pair of shorts, and two backpacks in the trunk. There were at least 18 bottles of water and Gatorade, and about five days' worth of diapers (unsued - just to be clear).

It was brutal, and everything in this post only scratches the surface. 

You may have guessed that Scotty's car hasn't ever been suitable for passengers. Whenever we've taken it anywhere, we've had to spend hours cleaning it out. 

It will be wonderful for Scotty to drive a company owned vehicle for a while. He has to keep it clean. My only worry is where he'll stash the stuff he would normally leave in his car.