For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
Mosiah 3:19
When I read this scripture before I had Zoe, I couldn't help but think of the "natural man" in the form of a mother. LDS.org defines the "natural man" as, "a person who chooses to be influenced by the passions, desires, appetites, and senses of the flesh rather than by the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Such a person can comprehend physical things but not spiritual things."
I become the "natural mother":
- When I am short-tempered with my kids
- When I fail to listen to them when they are trying really hard to tell me something (or when I reject their point of view)
- When I skip Family Home Evening or family prayer because I am distracted or "not in the mood"
- When the look/cleanliness of my home becomes overly important
- When I feel competitive with other women
- When I feel like my ways are superior to the ways of others
- When I judge or criticize others
- When I am feeling rushed or in a hurry
(I could go on, but trust me, you don't have time to read the entire list).
Little did I know that I would have a nasty, long-term run-in with the natural mom as soon as I brought home a new baby. I don't know what happened, really, but being a mother of three has turned me into a basket case. I am constantly running around like a chicken with my head chopped off. I'm busy, I'm stressed, and I'm crazy. I can't start and complete a task, ever! The toast I made this morning is still sitting in the toaster, there are three large piles of garbage sitting by the back door waiting to go out, and the dishwasher is open and half-full (and that's not a metaphor for optimism) (need I mention that I'm going on two months of working on this very post?) It has been so easy, under these chaotic circumstances, to lose sight of spiritual things. I often get to the point where I might as well grab the Holy Ghost by the hand and personally escort him out of my home.
To overcome our natural tendencies, we need to be submissive, meek, humble, patient, and full of love, as King Benjamin taught. I don't feel like I have had very many of these attributes lately, but I think it is a great list of traits to strive for as a mom.
I took some time to ponder what these characteristics mean to me:
Submissive
Obedient, willing to live the commandments and keep covenants, striving to be like the Savior
Meek
Gentle, long-suffering, kind, compassionate
Humble
Modest, teachable, willing to repent, willing to forgive, lacking pride
Patient
Able to wait, steadfast despite opposition, bearing pains or trials without complaint
Full of love
Consistent in showing great care, affectionate, devoted, unselfish, loyal
When I started this Book of Mormon project, I thought I was going to learn and grow by leaps and bounds. I thought my commitment to studying motherhood through the scriptures would guarantee my awesomeness as a mother of three, but you guys? I'm totally bombing. It makes me wonder how much worse I would be right now if I hadn't studied the Book of Mormon during my third trimester.
I have to get back on track. Consider this my pledge to put off the natural mother.
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This post is part of my series, "Mothering and the Book of Mormon." To learn more about why I am writing this series, please read this. To learn more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, check out Mormon.org or LDS.org.
Did you know you can request a Book of Mormon for free? No joke! See here.
I'll even send you one if you want. Marginalia included.
You can e-mail me:
{fluentbrittish [at] gmail [dot] com}
I won't even try to baptize you!
2 comments:
Despite what you may think you are not bombing it. When I was pregnant with my third, I felt really compelled to study the Book of Mormon better too. I was even told so during a much needed priesthood blessing. And then guess what?! I was the worst mother of three ever. It shook me hard and kind of terrified me. I felt like I wouldn't be able to ever figure this thing out, and that I'd most likely ruin all my children's lives in the process. But of course like everything, it got easier. :)
During the beginning hard months I found this talk, http://www.lds.org/ensign/2005/11/instruments-in-the-hands-of-god?lang=eng
And particularly this quote...
"Some of you sisters may feel inadequate because you can’t seem to do all you want to do. Motherhood and parenting are most challenging roles. You also have Church callings that you fulfill so capably and conscientiously...In general you noble sisters are doing a much better job of holding it all together and making it work than you realize. May I suggest that you take your challenges one day at a time. Do the best you can. Look at everything through the lens of eternity. If you will do this, life will take on a different perspective."
it became my motto...take everything a day at a time. And then I even had to go further and remember King Benjamin's comforting words, that God is "supporting you from one moment to another." A moment at a time. And before I knew it, life with three was normal, and I was reminded again, that I can do all things "through Christ."
Anyway, as always, I think you are amazing. Hang in there, it gets easier :)
And I realize now that I should have just sent you an email, instead of a run-on comment. Whoops, can we still be friends?
P.S. I loved this post.
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