Fact #1: For the past few weeks I've been really overwhelmed. Oh, how I hate admitting when I'm overwhelmed. I really like that image of "handling it all," but I have a confession: not handling.
I blame school. My school (had to clarify since Nicky started school today). Throughout my entire day, there is this nagging reminder running through my head, "You need to do your homework. Why aren't you doing your homework? Don't forget you have homework!" and it's like a rash that won't go away.
On Saturday, I needed to finish up three assignments, and I honestly, sincerely forgot to do them. I realized my error on Sunday morning, but there was nothing I could do. My instructor doesn't accept late work.
Fact #2: In part, I was disappointed in myself. I'm a 3.9-er. I don't do 4.0's because I'm rebellious - I have to slack somewhere. In other ways, I feel like I was set free. I missed some assignments! Take that, school! You don't own me! But, ohmygoodness, I have an A- now. I'm not sure if I'm okay with that, even when I'm a 3.9-er. I kind of like my 3.9's to be on purpose, and this was totally an accident!
Fact #3: The last three days of my life have been very similar to the No Good Very Bad Day I posted about last week. I haven't had a chance to come up for air. Today, especially, was insane. I won't bore you with all the details, but just to give you an idea, know this: I had to reset Zoe's elbow twice in Walmart today. Twice!!!
Fact #4: Nicky is getting glasses.
Yesterday I had to take him to pick out frames, and I had no clue what I was doing. His head was too big for the kids' frames, so we had to get "man glasses." He picked out a Napoleon Dynamite pair, but I quickly shot that down. If he had his choice, Nicky would get prescription lenses put in a pair of safety goggles (he wears safety goggles more than one might expect - one of his many weird obsessions).
I realized how little I know about eye wear. I had reading glasses in high school and junior college, but I never really came to know the "eye culture." I also know nothing about fashion or current trends, so I had no idea what to look for in a pair of glasses for Nicky. His head is big and round. I'm sure there are some glasses that look better on hamburger heads than others. I'm also sure that there are glasses that are currently "cool" and they are probably not the same glasses that were cool when I was in school. The entire experience was like being in a foreign land. It's always sad when I have to turn to my son and say, "I'm sorry. I don't know how to guide you through this new experience. How 'bout these blue ones?"
Fact #5: We went with the blue pair because they were big enough for Nicky's large noggin, but they didn't make him look like a shrunken businessman.
Fact #6: I don't have time to write ten facts like I normally do, so I'm going to start skipping numbers and see if anyone notices.
Fact #8: Today at Walmart (see fact #3), I got into one of those annoying patterns of passing the same woman from the opposite direction in every aisle. She happened to have three children sitting in her shopping cart. Not a single one of them was screaming or dangling off the side. Meanwhile, I was pushing my cart of food with one hand and holding a wailing toddler under the other arm like a giant, possessed football with limbs.
Where do these people get these children that just sit in carts?
No, really!
Are they mail-ordered, or what?
You can bet that after I passed that woman for the third time, I skipped ahead three aisles to get away from her. Something was clearly wrong with her children.
Fact #10: Must... sleep...
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Observations from Nine Children
On Saturday night we hosted a sleepover with my kids and their cousins. The event was originally supposed to include two cousins, but it turned into five. Things went pretty smoothly, for the most part. On Sunday morning, Scotty had church meetings starting at 7:00. That's the part I forgot about until late Saturday night when I had a kind of, "Oh!" moment. That left me to feed nine* kids breakfast, and get six of them ready for church by myself (three of them were being picked up by their mom at 9:30).
We had a lot of fun, and somehow I managed to get everyone fed, bathed, and dressed except for Eva, whom Scotty bathed and dressed. During the several hours I was responsible for nine children, I observed the following:
1. Meals for nine children are best served outside. Especially when the meals include rice.
2. Labeled cups are a must.
3. My family room isn't big enough. One kid was practically in the hall, and I'm pretty sure at least one kid ended up under the couch at some point... and there were only seven in there.
4. Diapers multiply very quickly when you have five kids in the house that need nighttime support.
5. When half the kids are night owls and half the kids are early birds, no one gets any sleep.
We had a great time having the cousins over. We forced the kids to play outside until dark. Our neighbor was having a huge party with a live band, so we acted like it was our party and our band while we hung out in the backyard. We had Hawaiian haystacks for dinner and sundaes for dessert. Grandma and Grandpa made an appearance to say hello (it was kind of like when Santa shows up at a Christmas party).
When we came inside, the girls took baths and had their hair brushed. The boys got to sleep in their own filth and shower in the morning. We watched a movie and only two kids fell asleep. At midnight we bid them goodnight and turned off the lights.
In the morning, they started stirring at 7:30. The earliest risers went outside to play for a while. I made two 9x13 German pancakes, which they downed within minutes. There were strange arguments over milk ("I'm only allowed to drink milk with a yellow lid"), and hopefully, at some point, teeth were brushed, but I'm not really sure.
At 9:30, three kids went home, and the rest of us set out for church at 10:35 with minimal crankiness. Frankly, I was impressed.
*Ages 8, 8, 7, 6, 5, 5, 3, 2, and 4 months.
We had a lot of fun, and somehow I managed to get everyone fed, bathed, and dressed except for Eva, whom Scotty bathed and dressed. During the several hours I was responsible for nine children, I observed the following:
1. Meals for nine children are best served outside. Especially when the meals include rice.
2. Labeled cups are a must.
3. My family room isn't big enough. One kid was practically in the hall, and I'm pretty sure at least one kid ended up under the couch at some point... and there were only seven in there.
4. Diapers multiply very quickly when you have five kids in the house that need nighttime support.
5. When half the kids are night owls and half the kids are early birds, no one gets any sleep.
We had a great time having the cousins over. We forced the kids to play outside until dark. Our neighbor was having a huge party with a live band, so we acted like it was our party and our band while we hung out in the backyard. We had Hawaiian haystacks for dinner and sundaes for dessert. Grandma and Grandpa made an appearance to say hello (it was kind of like when Santa shows up at a Christmas party).
When we came inside, the girls took baths and had their hair brushed. The boys got to sleep in their own filth and shower in the morning. We watched a movie and only two kids fell asleep. At midnight we bid them goodnight and turned off the lights.
In the morning, they started stirring at 7:30. The earliest risers went outside to play for a while. I made two 9x13 German pancakes, which they downed within minutes. There were strange arguments over milk ("I'm only allowed to drink milk with a yellow lid"), and hopefully, at some point, teeth were brushed, but I'm not really sure.
At 9:30, three kids went home, and the rest of us set out for church at 10:35 with minimal crankiness. Frankly, I was impressed.
*Ages 8, 8, 7, 6, 5, 5, 3, 2, and 4 months.
Friday, August 14, 2015
The No Good Very Bad Day
On Wednesday night I went to bed feeling so blessed. I'd had several uplifting experiences during the 72 hours leading up to that bedtime, so I was full of gratitude and love.
When I woke up Thursday morning, the feelings of the night before were quickly chased away. The day started with a cancellation text.
I had plans with a friend for Thursday morning that had already been rescheduled from the week prior. My kids had been so patient putting off our plans for a week, and when things fell through again, they were devastated. I told them to never fear! We were still going to go through with our plans, but we would find someone else to go with us.
Well, that didn't happen. No one could come with us. Apparently people in my social circle don't just sit around waiting to be invited to do things. Oh, the pain of rejection!
We were going to a splash pad, and I tried to brainwash my kids into enjoying going with "just us." We can have fun as a family, right? We don't need to rely on friends for entertainment (except that it's August, so we totally do!)
I worked really hard to get everyone ready. This, of course, meant I had to feed people. The baby was crying and needed to eat, so I grabbed a box of cereal, some bowls, and the milk and told my older kids to have at it. Then I made a bottle and settled on the couch to feed Eva.
Daisy was dawdling (a norm for her - I will spend the rest of my life waiting for Daisy), so by the time she went to the table, the cereal was all gone. I got her a new box of cereal, which she brought into the living room (who knows why) and spilled all over the floor. Then she refused to clean it up.
I haven't yet figured out a form of discipline that's effective on Daisy, but my current non-effective strategy for when she refuses to clean up a mess is that I give her a choice, "You can clean up the mess, or I will clean up the mess while you sit on your bed." She wouldn't choose either and just laid on the floor screaming at me, "You're the stupidest mommy ever! I hate you!" so I end up having to pick her up and take her to her bed. The problem with this (in addition to interrupting my feeding the baby, resulting in a crying baby) is that I hurt my back a few weeks ago, and for the life of me, it will not heal. So by 7:30 in the morning, my back was out of commission, and I had two screaming children.
When I settled back on the couch with the baby after cleaning up the Cheerios (aggravating my back even more), Zoe came into the room babbling about putting her swimming suit on. She had her suit and swim diaper in hand, and I told her, "Let me finish feeding Eva, and then we'll get your swimming suit on." She started throwing a tantrum because... two-year-old... and then whipped her diaper off so she could start putting her swimming suit on. To my dismay, a chunk-a-poo came flying out of her diaper, landing on the living room floor. Nicky found this hilarious and repeatedly informed me, "There's poo on the floor! There's poo on the floor!" So by 8:00 a.m. I'd already cleaned Cheerios and poo out of my living room carpet.
After the series of living room incidents, I started getting everything ready to go. I packed a diaper bag, got the baby dressed, helped everyone into their swimming suits, and gathered the towels.
(Mind you, this took hours).
We decided the plan would be to squeeze in a trip to the library, then stop at Cafe Rio to grab some lunch to take to the splash pad, then go to the splash pad.
While I was loading everything in the van, Zoe took off up the street. I had to drop everything and run after her (my back!), and when I got to her (three houses up the street), I practically had to tackle her (my back!), and drag her (and the scooter she escaped on) back home kicking and screaming (my back!). Then I had to strap her in her car seat while she did that stiff-as-a-board thing (while screaming) (my back!). As we pulled out of the driveway, it was clear that Zoe wasn't going to calm down any time soon, so I had to cancel the library stop.
Just to make things more exciting, the gas light came on, so I drove straight to the gas station. While pumping gas, I noticed it was a bit windy, and I realized that I didn't bring the stakes for the canopy. Since there isn't an ounce of shade at the splash pad we were going to, the canopy was crucial for Eva's comfort, so I drove back home to find the stakes. I'd last seen the stakes in a backpack that we usually take on outings, but when I got home, they weren't there. At this point, I lost it for a minute and started crying in my garage.
I tried to think of other options for keeping the canopy stable, but I had nothing. I did that frantic thing where you go, "Please, please, please!" while pacing back and forth. I was about to tell the kids we couldn't go, but I decided to check one last place. I found the stakes in a basket on our kitchen counter (which makes perfect sense) and then I did that thing where you go, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" as I ran back to the van.
We took off for the second time and headed straight to Cafe Rio. Surely everything would be alright as soon as we had Cafe Rio in our hands, plus I'd had the good sense to do my order online so it would be ready for me when I got there! I had a $2 off coupon, and at a red light, I checked my wallet to make sure I'd remembered the coupon. I did. But that's when I realized the coupon for was $2 off a salad or burrito, neither of which I ordered. Then I realized I made a mistake on my order and didn't request a flour tortilla for my tostada. I was bummed, but there would still be Cafe Rio, so I knew I'd be okay!
I got to Cafe Rio five minutes before my order time (and Cafe Rio is never early!) so I hung out in the parking for a while to waste time. My kids were sooooo bored! and they started giving me ultimatums involving cupcakes (apparently if I took them to the cupcake shop, they would be good for the entire day. Really? It's as easy as that? All I have to do is buy them cupcakes, and all of their behavior problems - the fighting, the lying, the arguing, the pure defiance - will just magically go away? Sign me up for a cupcake subscription, then!)
When the time arrived, I ran into Cafe Rio and paid for my order. Then Cashier Girl was like, "Um. We don't have black beans or rice." Then she just stared at me as if this was my problem to solve. This is one thing that drives me crazy about food establishments. They are incapable of offering a solutions. So I started to prod because, clearly, this girl needed my help, "How long until you have more? Do you have pinto beans?" It turned out, they weren't actually out of rice (I just had to ask them a million questions to get them to realize this), so I simply swapped my black beans for pinto beans and waited patiently for them to make my (now very late) food.
After I got the food, we drove to the splash pad. I had a moment of panic because no one was there, and I couldn't see any water activity from the parking lot. It would have been perfectly fitting that the splash pad would be dry that day, so I sent Nicky to scope it out. Thankfully, there was water, so I started unloading the van - the canopy, the camp chair, the beach blanket, the towels, the diaper bag, the baby in her car seat, the bag of drinks, the bag of food, and the wagon to pull it all in (my back!)
I dragged it all out onto the grass and started setting up the canopy. To put it lightly, our canopy is a piece of crap. Nicky was trying to help me get all of the legs extended when one of the legs fell off. The little metal popping thing that holds it in place when it expands was too big to lock into the hole that holds it in place, and that really annoyed me because, having used it many times before, there was obviously some form of witchcraft involved that made the hole too small. I was stuck there with a three-legged canopy after all the other stuff that had gone wrong all morning, and I about lost it. I was mad, and I wanted to stamp my foot and yell, kind of how my kids do when they're mad, but I remembered that I'm supposed to be a sensible adult who models rational behavior in front of my kids. I took a deep breath, and I thought, I control my reaction. I can change how I feel.
I tried to walk myself through some sloppy cognitive behavioral therapy - change your thoughts, change your behavior, Britt. You don't have to feel this way.
And then I realized, I wanted to be mad. Even though the little things individually weren't a big deal, the pile-up sucked. If I were to just not be mad, I would be letting fate walk all over me! Gosh darnnit! And I wanted to stay mad so I could blame my two-year-old's tantrums, the great black bean drought of 2015, and that stupid canopy for any mistakes or poor choices I made that day. If I were to just "change my thoughts," I'd be Job, and I'm no Job!
But then I got rational again. I took a deep breath, jimmy-rigged that piece-a-junk canopy leg, and parked myself in a camp chair with a Vanilla Coke and a tostada from Cafe Rio. I decided that was the end of the suckage. It wasn't, but I survived, and as much as I hate to admit it, I know that I really do control how I think and how I act in every situation. I don't get to blame Cafe Rio employees or faulty canopies. I don't even get to blame poo on the floor. It's all up to me, and sometimes I don't like that responsibility.
When I woke up Thursday morning, the feelings of the night before were quickly chased away. The day started with a cancellation text.
I had plans with a friend for Thursday morning that had already been rescheduled from the week prior. My kids had been so patient putting off our plans for a week, and when things fell through again, they were devastated. I told them to never fear! We were still going to go through with our plans, but we would find someone else to go with us.
Well, that didn't happen. No one could come with us. Apparently people in my social circle don't just sit around waiting to be invited to do things. Oh, the pain of rejection!
We were going to a splash pad, and I tried to brainwash my kids into enjoying going with "just us." We can have fun as a family, right? We don't need to rely on friends for entertainment (except that it's August, so we totally do!)
I worked really hard to get everyone ready. This, of course, meant I had to feed people. The baby was crying and needed to eat, so I grabbed a box of cereal, some bowls, and the milk and told my older kids to have at it. Then I made a bottle and settled on the couch to feed Eva.
Daisy was dawdling (a norm for her - I will spend the rest of my life waiting for Daisy), so by the time she went to the table, the cereal was all gone. I got her a new box of cereal, which she brought into the living room (who knows why) and spilled all over the floor. Then she refused to clean it up.
I haven't yet figured out a form of discipline that's effective on Daisy, but my current non-effective strategy for when she refuses to clean up a mess is that I give her a choice, "You can clean up the mess, or I will clean up the mess while you sit on your bed." She wouldn't choose either and just laid on the floor screaming at me, "You're the stupidest mommy ever! I hate you!" so I end up having to pick her up and take her to her bed. The problem with this (in addition to interrupting my feeding the baby, resulting in a crying baby) is that I hurt my back a few weeks ago, and for the life of me, it will not heal. So by 7:30 in the morning, my back was out of commission, and I had two screaming children.
When I settled back on the couch with the baby after cleaning up the Cheerios (aggravating my back even more), Zoe came into the room babbling about putting her swimming suit on. She had her suit and swim diaper in hand, and I told her, "Let me finish feeding Eva, and then we'll get your swimming suit on." She started throwing a tantrum because... two-year-old... and then whipped her diaper off so she could start putting her swimming suit on. To my dismay, a chunk-a-poo came flying out of her diaper, landing on the living room floor. Nicky found this hilarious and repeatedly informed me, "There's poo on the floor! There's poo on the floor!" So by 8:00 a.m. I'd already cleaned Cheerios and poo out of my living room carpet.
After the series of living room incidents, I started getting everything ready to go. I packed a diaper bag, got the baby dressed, helped everyone into their swimming suits, and gathered the towels.
(Mind you, this took hours).
We decided the plan would be to squeeze in a trip to the library, then stop at Cafe Rio to grab some lunch to take to the splash pad, then go to the splash pad.
While I was loading everything in the van, Zoe took off up the street. I had to drop everything and run after her (my back!), and when I got to her (three houses up the street), I practically had to tackle her (my back!), and drag her (and the scooter she escaped on) back home kicking and screaming (my back!). Then I had to strap her in her car seat while she did that stiff-as-a-board thing (while screaming) (my back!). As we pulled out of the driveway, it was clear that Zoe wasn't going to calm down any time soon, so I had to cancel the library stop.
Just to make things more exciting, the gas light came on, so I drove straight to the gas station. While pumping gas, I noticed it was a bit windy, and I realized that I didn't bring the stakes for the canopy. Since there isn't an ounce of shade at the splash pad we were going to, the canopy was crucial for Eva's comfort, so I drove back home to find the stakes. I'd last seen the stakes in a backpack that we usually take on outings, but when I got home, they weren't there. At this point, I lost it for a minute and started crying in my garage.
I tried to think of other options for keeping the canopy stable, but I had nothing. I did that frantic thing where you go, "Please, please, please!" while pacing back and forth. I was about to tell the kids we couldn't go, but I decided to check one last place. I found the stakes in a basket on our kitchen counter (which makes perfect sense) and then I did that thing where you go, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" as I ran back to the van.
We took off for the second time and headed straight to Cafe Rio. Surely everything would be alright as soon as we had Cafe Rio in our hands, plus I'd had the good sense to do my order online so it would be ready for me when I got there! I had a $2 off coupon, and at a red light, I checked my wallet to make sure I'd remembered the coupon. I did. But that's when I realized the coupon for was $2 off a salad or burrito, neither of which I ordered. Then I realized I made a mistake on my order and didn't request a flour tortilla for my tostada. I was bummed, but there would still be Cafe Rio, so I knew I'd be okay!
I got to Cafe Rio five minutes before my order time (and Cafe Rio is never early!) so I hung out in the parking for a while to waste time. My kids were sooooo bored! and they started giving me ultimatums involving cupcakes (apparently if I took them to the cupcake shop, they would be good for the entire day. Really? It's as easy as that? All I have to do is buy them cupcakes, and all of their behavior problems - the fighting, the lying, the arguing, the pure defiance - will just magically go away? Sign me up for a cupcake subscription, then!)
When the time arrived, I ran into Cafe Rio and paid for my order. Then Cashier Girl was like, "Um. We don't have black beans or rice." Then she just stared at me as if this was my problem to solve. This is one thing that drives me crazy about food establishments. They are incapable of offering a solutions. So I started to prod because, clearly, this girl needed my help, "How long until you have more? Do you have pinto beans?" It turned out, they weren't actually out of rice (I just had to ask them a million questions to get them to realize this), so I simply swapped my black beans for pinto beans and waited patiently for them to make my (now very late) food.
After I got the food, we drove to the splash pad. I had a moment of panic because no one was there, and I couldn't see any water activity from the parking lot. It would have been perfectly fitting that the splash pad would be dry that day, so I sent Nicky to scope it out. Thankfully, there was water, so I started unloading the van - the canopy, the camp chair, the beach blanket, the towels, the diaper bag, the baby in her car seat, the bag of drinks, the bag of food, and the wagon to pull it all in (my back!)
I dragged it all out onto the grass and started setting up the canopy. To put it lightly, our canopy is a piece of crap. Nicky was trying to help me get all of the legs extended when one of the legs fell off. The little metal popping thing that holds it in place when it expands was too big to lock into the hole that holds it in place, and that really annoyed me because, having used it many times before, there was obviously some form of witchcraft involved that made the hole too small. I was stuck there with a three-legged canopy after all the other stuff that had gone wrong all morning, and I about lost it. I was mad, and I wanted to stamp my foot and yell, kind of how my kids do when they're mad, but I remembered that I'm supposed to be a sensible adult who models rational behavior in front of my kids. I took a deep breath, and I thought, I control my reaction. I can change how I feel.
I tried to walk myself through some sloppy cognitive behavioral therapy - change your thoughts, change your behavior, Britt. You don't have to feel this way.
And then I realized, I wanted to be mad. Even though the little things individually weren't a big deal, the pile-up sucked. If I were to just not be mad, I would be letting fate walk all over me! Gosh darnnit! And I wanted to stay mad so I could blame my two-year-old's tantrums, the great black bean drought of 2015, and that stupid canopy for any mistakes or poor choices I made that day. If I were to just "change my thoughts," I'd be Job, and I'm no Job!
But then I got rational again. I took a deep breath, jimmy-rigged that piece-a-junk canopy leg, and parked myself in a camp chair with a Vanilla Coke and a tostada from Cafe Rio. I decided that was the end of the suckage. It wasn't, but I survived, and as much as I hate to admit it, I know that I really do control how I think and how I act in every situation. I don't get to blame Cafe Rio employees or faulty canopies. I don't even get to blame poo on the floor. It's all up to me, and sometimes I don't like that responsibility.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Currently {August 2015 Edition}
Reading: something I'm a little embarrassed to admit. Be curious.
Watching: The Gilmore Girls when I'm alone. White Collar when I'm with Scotty. I also have two movies checked out from the library that I need to watch this weekend: The World's Fastest Indian and The Adjustment Bureau (both of which I have seen before and have been wanting to watch again. It's just unfortunate that they both came in at the same time).
Procrastinating: nothing. That's strange. I can't think of anything, and yet, I'm sure there are 1,000 things I'm putting off.
Craving: something custard-y. An eclair would suffice. Or ten.
Dreading: the unpleasantness of an individual that I must face soon. Be curious.
Wearing: cut off stretchy pants and a Ragnar shirt (AKA: the same clothes I wore yesterday).
Needing: to pay a visit to my stylist. I am, as always, sporting several inches of split ends and dark roots.
Suffering from: end-of-summer fatigue. I'm ready for a change in weather... a change in schedule... just some sort of change.
Thankful for: Netflix. I put off getting Netflix for years because I knew I'd become fast addicted. Hi, I'm Brittany, and I'm now officially addicted to Netflix.
Enjoying: Netflix.
Proud of myself for: going five days without watching an episode of The Gilmore Girls.
Frustrated by: some choices Rory is making.
Looking forward to: being able to go to the store with fewer children when school starts (though the worst one to take in public is Zoe, and she's not going to school, so...)
Wishing: that I had "cartable" children (that's my term for "children who willingly sit in grocery carts").
Splurging on: new church pants for Nicky. He just got new pants a few months ago, and then there was a Silly Putty incident. I googled "how to get Silly Putty out of clothes" and I gave it about two minutes of my time before I decided I was just going to buy the kid a new pair of pants.
Loving: fresh chicken eggs daily.
Hoping to: clean and organize my basement soon.
Worried about: my body. It's getting worn out.
Watching: The Gilmore Girls when I'm alone. White Collar when I'm with Scotty. I also have two movies checked out from the library that I need to watch this weekend: The World's Fastest Indian and The Adjustment Bureau (both of which I have seen before and have been wanting to watch again. It's just unfortunate that they both came in at the same time).
Procrastinating: nothing. That's strange. I can't think of anything, and yet, I'm sure there are 1,000 things I'm putting off.
Craving: something custard-y. An eclair would suffice. Or ten.
Dreading: the unpleasantness of an individual that I must face soon. Be curious.
Wearing: cut off stretchy pants and a Ragnar shirt (AKA: the same clothes I wore yesterday).
Needing: to pay a visit to my stylist. I am, as always, sporting several inches of split ends and dark roots.
Suffering from: end-of-summer fatigue. I'm ready for a change in weather... a change in schedule... just some sort of change.
Thankful for: Netflix. I put off getting Netflix for years because I knew I'd become fast addicted. Hi, I'm Brittany, and I'm now officially addicted to Netflix.
Enjoying: Netflix.
Proud of myself for: going five days without watching an episode of The Gilmore Girls.
Frustrated by: some choices Rory is making.
Looking forward to: being able to go to the store with fewer children when school starts (though the worst one to take in public is Zoe, and she's not going to school, so...)
Wishing: that I had "cartable" children (that's my term for "children who willingly sit in grocery carts").
Splurging on: new church pants for Nicky. He just got new pants a few months ago, and then there was a Silly Putty incident. I googled "how to get Silly Putty out of clothes" and I gave it about two minutes of my time before I decided I was just going to buy the kid a new pair of pants.
Loving: fresh chicken eggs daily.
Hoping to: clean and organize my basement soon.
Worried about: my body. It's getting worn out.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Why I Can't Answer Hypothetical Questions
On Sunday nights, as part of beginning a new week, we hold a family council. "Family council" isn't my favorite terminology. Could anything sound more rigid and boring? So I've been trying to brainstorm something more exciting to call it- something that sounds more like a fun family tradition than a form of strict torture. Sometimes I call it "family meeting," but "meeting" doesn't have any better connotations than "council."
Yeah. I've got nothing.
So for now it's "family council" or "family meeting" and until that changes, I speak to my children in my most hoity-toity voice and say, "Darlings, come hither. 'Tis time for family council. Bring your individual calendars and check books, and don't forget to wash your hands."
Our family council is a time for us to go over what we have planned for the week, make decisions as a family, and address any problems we're having or things that need 'tweaking.' It is, in many ways, like trying to hold a meeting with circus animals. Wait, no. Circus animals have mastered a reasonable degree of training and obedience. It is, in many ways, like trying to hold a meeting with little children... who have been raised by wolves.
They bite.
At the end of our council, we do some family journaling (wow! I'm really selling this family council thing, aren't I?) We have a jar full of questions, and we pull a few questions out, take turns answering them, and write the answers in a journal. For example, back in June, one of the questions was What are your parents like?
Nicky: They're happy, tired, hilarious, funny, crazy, nice, handsome, and cute.
(For the most part, he is correct).
Daisy: They're not nice, they're weird, and they pee in the toilet.
(Again, mostly true).
Last week, we read the question If you were forced to go back in time but were allowed to take 10 modern conveniences with you, what would you take?
(And this is what I'm actually blogging about today - it just took me a while to get here).
I have a hard time answering hypothetical questions because I want to know what all of the rules are. For example, if I choose to bring my cell phone, does that mean I will automatically have a camera and the internet? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, yes. So for me, the number one item on my list is my cell phone (with camera and internet).
But since my cell phone is a five-year-old Blackberry, I'm going to need to get a new cell phone with better interneting capabilities before I go back in time. Which brings me to my next item... Netflix. Oh yes, I am taking Netflix back in time with me.
BUT... since I have a state of the art cell phone with great interneting capabilities, should I assume that I've dowloaded the Netflix app and therefore, can include Netflix in my cell phone bundle?
I vote yes. So I can still choose nine more items.
(By the way, if that Doctor Who girl's cell phone can work while she travels through time, I'm going to assume mine will, too, which means all of my cell phone features will be fully functional, and I'll be able to communicate with people in the present).
Now, assuming I'm going far enough back in time that most of our modern day conveniences do not exist, I'm probably going to want to take my washer and dryer, my dishwasher, my car (but are there roads? Maybe I should take an airplane or helicopter. But can I buy gas?), some form of air conditioning, my garage, indoor plumbing (hey, the rules don't say you have to be able to put it in a suitcase), and electricity.
But the thing about electricity is, I don't want to be taken advantage of. I don't want to be the person who's smart enough to bring electricity and then has all the other time travelers mooching off me. So just know that when you bring your ten modern-day conveniences back in time, you need to bring your own electricity.
If you're keeping score, I still have one item left to choose.
Never fear. I know exactly what it is.
Birth control.
I don't know what my odds are of becoming pregnant whilst time traveling, but I don't think the circumstances are ideal for having babies. What do you put on the birth certificate? But babies aside, I also feel that it wouldn't be practical to go galavanting through time while having to manage a menstrual cycle. So whatever form of birth control it is, it will stop the cycle. I'm all about killing two birds with one stone when limited to what I can travel with. I'll consult with my OB/GYN before I leave.
Now you may be thinking, Well Britt, that's all good and whatnot, but do you realize that you're bringing a washer and a dishwasher, but you won't have compatible soap to use with those items? and to you I say, "My machines will probably clean better on water alone that the ancient methods of washing did!"
And then I think Oh goodness, please don't send me back to a time that would be considered 'ancient!' Because when I time travel, I'm thinking early settlers of the US, or medieval times at latest. Please don't send me to a time in which I must sleep in an inside-out animal carcass to keep warm. If that's the case, cancel the dishwasher. I'm bringing Bear Grylls!
And now you're probably thinking, Good. She canceled the dishwasher. I don't think she realized that she wouldn't have hook-ups to run it with. Now someone needs to tell her that she can't take her washer and dryer... to which I say, "This is why I can't answer hypothetical questions."
-----------------------------------------------------
Now give it a try. What modern conveniences would you want to take?
Yeah. I've got nothing.
So for now it's "family council" or "family meeting" and until that changes, I speak to my children in my most hoity-toity voice and say, "Darlings, come hither. 'Tis time for family council. Bring your individual calendars and check books, and don't forget to wash your hands."
Our family council is a time for us to go over what we have planned for the week, make decisions as a family, and address any problems we're having or things that need 'tweaking.' It is, in many ways, like trying to hold a meeting with circus animals. Wait, no. Circus animals have mastered a reasonable degree of training and obedience. It is, in many ways, like trying to hold a meeting with little children... who have been raised by wolves.
They bite.
At the end of our council, we do some family journaling (wow! I'm really selling this family council thing, aren't I?) We have a jar full of questions, and we pull a few questions out, take turns answering them, and write the answers in a journal. For example, back in June, one of the questions was What are your parents like?
Nicky: They're happy, tired, hilarious, funny, crazy, nice, handsome, and cute.
(For the most part, he is correct).
Daisy: They're not nice, they're weird, and they pee in the toilet.
(Again, mostly true).
Last week, we read the question If you were forced to go back in time but were allowed to take 10 modern conveniences with you, what would you take?
(And this is what I'm actually blogging about today - it just took me a while to get here).
I have a hard time answering hypothetical questions because I want to know what all of the rules are. For example, if I choose to bring my cell phone, does that mean I will automatically have a camera and the internet? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, yes. So for me, the number one item on my list is my cell phone (with camera and internet).
But since my cell phone is a five-year-old Blackberry, I'm going to need to get a new cell phone with better interneting capabilities before I go back in time. Which brings me to my next item... Netflix. Oh yes, I am taking Netflix back in time with me.
BUT... since I have a state of the art cell phone with great interneting capabilities, should I assume that I've dowloaded the Netflix app and therefore, can include Netflix in my cell phone bundle?
I vote yes. So I can still choose nine more items.
(By the way, if that Doctor Who girl's cell phone can work while she travels through time, I'm going to assume mine will, too, which means all of my cell phone features will be fully functional, and I'll be able to communicate with people in the present).
Now, assuming I'm going far enough back in time that most of our modern day conveniences do not exist, I'm probably going to want to take my washer and dryer, my dishwasher, my car (but are there roads? Maybe I should take an airplane or helicopter. But can I buy gas?), some form of air conditioning, my garage, indoor plumbing (hey, the rules don't say you have to be able to put it in a suitcase), and electricity.
But the thing about electricity is, I don't want to be taken advantage of. I don't want to be the person who's smart enough to bring electricity and then has all the other time travelers mooching off me. So just know that when you bring your ten modern-day conveniences back in time, you need to bring your own electricity.
If you're keeping score, I still have one item left to choose.
Never fear. I know exactly what it is.
Birth control.
I don't know what my odds are of becoming pregnant whilst time traveling, but I don't think the circumstances are ideal for having babies. What do you put on the birth certificate? But babies aside, I also feel that it wouldn't be practical to go galavanting through time while having to manage a menstrual cycle. So whatever form of birth control it is, it will stop the cycle. I'm all about killing two birds with one stone when limited to what I can travel with. I'll consult with my OB/GYN before I leave.
Now you may be thinking, Well Britt, that's all good and whatnot, but do you realize that you're bringing a washer and a dishwasher, but you won't have compatible soap to use with those items? and to you I say, "My machines will probably clean better on water alone that the ancient methods of washing did!"
And then I think Oh goodness, please don't send me back to a time that would be considered 'ancient!' Because when I time travel, I'm thinking early settlers of the US, or medieval times at latest. Please don't send me to a time in which I must sleep in an inside-out animal carcass to keep warm. If that's the case, cancel the dishwasher. I'm bringing Bear Grylls!
And now you're probably thinking, Good. She canceled the dishwasher. I don't think she realized that she wouldn't have hook-ups to run it with. Now someone needs to tell her that she can't take her washer and dryer... to which I say, "This is why I can't answer hypothetical questions."
-----------------------------------------------------
Now give it a try. What modern conveniences would you want to take?
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Adventures in Lake Tahoe
We just returned from a fantastic family vacation to Lake Tahoe. We were there for an entire week with some extended family, and it was quite an experience.
I have loads of pictures I'm dying to share, but I'm having some problems getting them to upload to flickr from Scotty's phone. I've always had great success with the app, but about a month ago, it started having problems. I have uninstalled/reinstalled and searched the forums for answers to no avail. I am devastated. I had a good thing going.
So anyway, this post will be severely lacking in photos for the time being. Hopefully my few low quality pics swiped from facebook will be good enough.
But no, they won't... You'll understand more fully in a moment.
So on vacation...
We spent a lot of time on the beach. On our first visit to the beach, Scotty and my niece went parasailing while I sat back with the kids and some of my in-laws. It is tough managing little kids on the beach. Nicky and Daisy were fine, but Zoe and Eva were a little more difficult. There were endless poopy diapers to change... in the sand, and endless binkies and bottles dropped... in the sand. Plus there was the need for constant sunscreening, and Eva, who isn't technically supposed to wear sunscreen yet, had to be kept in the shade. Zoe was clingy and tantrum-prone, as two-year-olds usually are.
Suffice it to say that babies and beaches aren't the greatest combination. Luckily our adult to child ratio was about 2:1 for the first few days, so that helped a lot.
Nicky and I spent some time on the paddle board together. At first, I paddled, and Nicky was my passenger, but after getting knocked off the board several times, I was starting to get a little banged up, so I sat on the board and made Nicky paddle me around. He ran around the board like a hyper monkey trying to stay balanced. It was hilarious, but he was pretty good at it.
While we were in Lake Tahoe, the celebrity golf tournament was coming to town. Scotty and I usually watch some of this tournament on TV, mostly because we like Charles Barkley's golf swing so much:
We joked about going to the golf tournament, but we didn't think it was really a possibility. We assumed tickets were a fortune, but we looked at the web site to see who was playing this year, and it turned out, tickets were only $20, and two kids could get in free with each paying adult!
It turns out that the celebrity golf tournament was the most affordable thing to do in Lake Tahoe. We ended up going on Tuesday (Tues-Thurs were practice rounds with the actual tournament from Fri-Sun). We went with my sister-in-law, my niece, and Nicky and Eva (the "easy ones") while Daisy and Zoe (the "difficult ones") stayed with Grandma and Grandpa (and they truly were difficult).
The tournament was a lot different that I expected. I anticipated masses of people with very little opportunity to get close to a celebrity. I thought the spectators would be limited to certain areas. I imagined we'd be piled in bleachers and standing in large groups, barely able to see... so I was pleasantly surprised with how calm and casual everything was. The course was quiet and peaceful, and there weren't a lot of people there (this all changed as the days went on, so we picked the PERFECT day to go). We were able to walk around the course and go to any hole we wanted. The crowds were minimal, and we were able to see the celebrities up close. It was pretty incredible!
Most of the celebrities featured in the tournament were retired athletes we'd never heard of, but we tried to act like fans anyway because we wanted their autographs. Luckily we had a copy of the Official Program Guide ($5 for the program and a custom American Century Championship Sharpie!) that told us who everyone was.
I have loads of pictures I'm dying to share, but I'm having some problems getting them to upload to flickr from Scotty's phone. I've always had great success with the app, but about a month ago, it started having problems. I have uninstalled/reinstalled and searched the forums for answers to no avail. I am devastated. I had a good thing going.
So anyway, this post will be severely lacking in photos for the time being. Hopefully my few low quality pics swiped from facebook will be good enough.
But no, they won't... You'll understand more fully in a moment.
So on vacation...
We spent a lot of time on the beach. On our first visit to the beach, Scotty and my niece went parasailing while I sat back with the kids and some of my in-laws. It is tough managing little kids on the beach. Nicky and Daisy were fine, but Zoe and Eva were a little more difficult. There were endless poopy diapers to change... in the sand, and endless binkies and bottles dropped... in the sand. Plus there was the need for constant sunscreening, and Eva, who isn't technically supposed to wear sunscreen yet, had to be kept in the shade. Zoe was clingy and tantrum-prone, as two-year-olds usually are.
Suffice it to say that babies and beaches aren't the greatest combination. Luckily our adult to child ratio was about 2:1 for the first few days, so that helped a lot.
Our next visit to the beach included kayaks and a paddle board. I got to watch Nicky set out on a kayak, which was really cool. He did a single kayak and then a double with his cousin. He looked so grown up, and he managed the kayak very well.
Nicky and I spent some time on the paddle board together. At first, I paddled, and Nicky was my passenger, but after getting knocked off the board several times, I was starting to get a little banged up, so I sat on the board and made Nicky paddle me around. He ran around the board like a hyper monkey trying to stay balanced. It was hilarious, but he was pretty good at it.
While we were in Lake Tahoe, the celebrity golf tournament was coming to town. Scotty and I usually watch some of this tournament on TV, mostly because we like Charles Barkley's golf swing so much:
We joked about going to the golf tournament, but we didn't think it was really a possibility. We assumed tickets were a fortune, but we looked at the web site to see who was playing this year, and it turned out, tickets were only $20, and two kids could get in free with each paying adult!
It turns out that the celebrity golf tournament was the most affordable thing to do in Lake Tahoe. We ended up going on Tuesday (Tues-Thurs were practice rounds with the actual tournament from Fri-Sun). We went with my sister-in-law, my niece, and Nicky and Eva (the "easy ones") while Daisy and Zoe (the "difficult ones") stayed with Grandma and Grandpa (and they truly were difficult).
The tournament was a lot different that I expected. I anticipated masses of people with very little opportunity to get close to a celebrity. I thought the spectators would be limited to certain areas. I imagined we'd be piled in bleachers and standing in large groups, barely able to see... so I was pleasantly surprised with how calm and casual everything was. The course was quiet and peaceful, and there weren't a lot of people there (this all changed as the days went on, so we picked the PERFECT day to go). We were able to walk around the course and go to any hole we wanted. The crowds were minimal, and we were able to see the celebrities up close. It was pretty incredible!
Most of the celebrities featured in the tournament were retired athletes we'd never heard of, but we tried to act like fans anyway because we wanted their autographs. Luckily we had a copy of the Official Program Guide ($5 for the program and a custom American Century Championship Sharpie!) that told us who everyone was.
Nicky was able to get a lot of autographs, and we got a lot of pictures of Nicky with various celebrities.
Nicky with Sterling Sharpe, formerly of the Green Bay Packers
As one would expect, some celebrities were kind and gracious (Brandi Chastain, Kenny Lofton, Colt Ford, and surprisingly, Larry the Cable Guy). Others were jerks (I'm looking at you, Jim McMahon!) Some fell in between, like Brian Baumgartner (Kevin from The Office) who snubbed us at first but later signed autographs and did photos.
In the afternoon, Justin Timberlake arrived, and while I was hoping to catch a glimpse, I was doubtful that we'd be able to get anywhere near him. He was supposed to tee off with Alfonso Ribeiro around 1:00, but we didn't have info about where they'd start (celebrities started at various holes). We asked some of the employees, but all of the information about Justin was kept pretty confidential, so they could only make guesses about what would happen.
Just before 1:00, a crowd gathered near the clubhouse, and there were whisperings of Justin Timberlake's arrival. The crowd was surprisingly small, so I didn't really think Justin Timberlake was going to come walking out any second, but we stayed there anyway... just in case. There was increased security nearby, so we knew that, even if it wasn't Justin, something exciting might be happening.
And there he was!
And I was all, "Oh my gosh! That's Justin Timberlake!"*
And then he walked past us all casual and whatnot.
And in my head I was going, "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" but on the outside, I was acting like, "Justin Timberlake? Oh, the lad in the pink shirt? He looks nice."
Right after I took this picture, he yelled out, "I feel it!" and he did a fist pump, and he looked right toward us, so I had to wave. But I waved like a 31-year-old mother of four and not like a 14-year-old NSYNC fan even though, on the side, I was like, "He's bringing sexy back!"
Because, let's be honest, Justin Timberlake is not exactly ugly.
After he left the clubhouse, he practiced putting, then he went to the driving range. We noticed that the bleachers by the first hole had a lot of seats available, so we headed over there. We were able to see Aaron Rodgers (the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers) tee off with Larry the Cable Guy (we ran into Larry a lot throughout the day, and he was one of the more friendly and social celebrities). Aaron Rodgers was one of the more popular celebrities. Ten minutes later, Justin and Alfonso teed off.
Justin, Alfonso, and Guy in Blue Shirt
Note the pink glove in Justin's back pocket. He obviously put a lot of thought into his outfit for the day.
After we watched Justin tee off, we decided we'd call it a day, and we started heading toward the exit. We had a brief run-in with Briam Baumgartner again, and Kenny Lofton almost ran us over with his golf cart (it was kind of fun to just walk around and see all of these famous people cruising by in golf carts). On our way out, we passed hole 7, and noticed that the bleachers were in the shade, so we decided we'd stop and hang out for a while. We were able to see a few more celebs play, and Nicky got several autographs (including one from a MLB player who said he was contractually unable to do autographs, but he gave in to Nicky). Nicky was also able to snag Aaron Rodger's autograph and get a photo - this is a pretty big deal.
We stayed long enough to see Justin come through. We were *right there* on the green so we could hear their conversations, and it was funny to listen to Alfonso Ribeiro analyze his shots. He was taking the practice round very seriously and had a little heated exchange with another player in which Alfonso was very Carlton-ish.
After that, we felt like we'd gotten our celebrity fix, and we left for real. We were so glad we were able to go. It was really cool, and the atmosphere was so different than I imagined. It was just so... calm and casual. When we drove by the golf course over the following days, it was no longer calm and casual, so we really lucked out.
The next day we went to the beach again, and I was able to go parasailing with Nicky and my nephew. Parasailing was a lot like the celebrity golf tournament... surprisingly calm and peaceful. We took off from the back of the boat and went 350' into the air. The view was incredible, Lake Tahoe is beautiful.
That night we went to the Nestle Cafe and had dessert for dinner (I opted for the banana split, thankyouverymuch). While we were walking back to t he parking garage, we saw Alex Smith (the quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs). Alex used to play for the University of Utah, and Nicky happened to be wearing his U of U hoodie. We wouldn't normally bother a celebrity in that kind of situation (he was there with his family waiting for a table at a restaurant), but the hoodie! So Scotty approached him and asked for a photo. He seemed annoyed until he saw Nicky's hoodie, then he said, "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" and he graciously posed with Nicky. It was pretty darn cool.
The next day, all of our extended family left, but we stayed one more night. We spent our time lounging around because we were too tired to do anything.
We had a lot of fun in Lake Tahoe, and we were so glad we got to go. A big thanks to our in-laws who let us crash their vacation yet again!
*I realized later that I have been to an NSYNC concert, so this wasn't my first glimpse of Justin Timberlake in person, but the back row of a football stadium doesn't compare to the front row view I had on the golf course!
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Running Questions
The other day, my friend Amy posted her answers to a running survey. I read every word and thought about my own answers. Three years ago, I never would have participated in such a survey, let alone read one! I feel like I can almost... somewhat... actually... maybe... contribute to the conversation at this point. But then again, I am not in a good place with running right now. I started off with bang after having Eva, but after my first two runs, I've found myself in a yucky place. I blame the heat. Summer isn't the best time for me to "start over." Frankly, it's bad for my self-esteem. Every run I go on right now is a huge mental battle. My legs are tired and weak, and I'm incredibly slow. It's just a big 'ole dose of self-defeat each time I tie those shoes and head out the door.
I want to feel like this when I run...*
But I don't. I can't photograph how running makes me feel right now. It would give you bad dreams.
1. Would you rather run along a beach path or on a mountain trail? It's a toss up. Both are beautiful, so I will pick whichever is cooler (as in temperature).
2. If you could choose the flavor of Gatorade at your next race’s aid stations, what would it be? Blue. I realize "blue" is not a flavor, but I can tolerate most blue Gatorades. I don't like red, yellow,or green. In most cases, I would prefer water, but for over 7 miles, it's nice to have some electrolytes. I almost passed out in a bathroom with my pants down after a 12-miler with only water. I had really bad vertigo and got extremely nauseated. I don't want to be in that situation ever again.
3. If I gave you a $100 gift card to a running store, what would be the first thing that you would purchase with it? Shoes. Gotta be practical.
4. Do you prefer to follow a training plan or wake up and decide then how far and how fast you want to run? I rarely run with a plan. If I try to follow a training plan, I get angry and lose my motivation because I feel like I'm being told what to do. Don't boss my running!
5. Would you rather start your run with the uphill and end on the downhill or start your run with the downhill and end with the uphill? I usually go uphill first. I feel like going downhill is my reward.
6. When you can’t run, what type of cross-training do you choose to do? Right now I do abs and weights.
7. What is your preference—> Out and back, point to point or loop runs? I don't really care. They all have their pros and cons. My two most common routes are an out and back and a loop. It really just depends on how far I'm going. I never run from point to point.
8. If you could recommend ANY running related item to a new runner, it would be a -> Everyone is so different that I wouldn't really recommend anything specific. Find what YOU like. I have a lot of different clothing and accessories, but the only thing I'm truly loyal to is thigh coverage, lest I should start a fire on the go. Not everyone has that problem, though.
9. Do you ever see any wild animals while out on your runs? Scotty and I saw a fox once. Other than that, just birds.
10. Ever gotten lost while out on a run? Nope
11. If you could have one meal waiting and ready for you each time you got home from a run for the next 30 days… what would that meal be?
Mornings: Toad in a hole with a runny egg and 12 oz.cookies and cream protein drink. Afternoons/evenings: banana and a peanut butter and honey sandwich.
Mornings: Toad in a hole with a runny egg and 12 oz.cookies and cream protein drink. Afternoons/evenings: banana and a peanut butter and honey sandwich.
12. Capris or shorts… what do you run in most often? It just depends on what's clean and how hot it is. In the winter I wear capris or pants. In the summer I wear shorts with mid-thigh length compression shorts underneath.
13. At what mile (or how many minutes) into your run does your body start to feel like it is warming up and ready to go? Right now? Never. Between the heat and being out of shape, I haven't yet felt "warmed up and ready to go." I've just felt "too hot and ready to sleep."
14. What do you do with your key when you run? Leave it home, tie it to my shorts, or stick it in a pocket. Why do you ask? Are you planing to mug me?
15. If you could relive any race that you have done in the past, which one what it be? I don't think I would want to relive a single one. This question must be for people who actually like running.
16. What type of run is your least favorite type of run? The kind that lands me in a public restroom or porta potty. I've had more of those than I care to admit.
17. What has been your biggest motivation lately to get out the door to get your run on? Right now I'm not very motivated at all. Sometimes a new song on my playlist helps, and sometimes, if I wake up in the morning and can't go back to sleep, I'm drawn to running in the cooler temps (but we're talking, like, 5:00 a.m. so this is rare).
18. When you go for a run, do you leave right from your front door or do you drive somewhere to start? I start from my house. Time is precious right now, so I don't want to waste it driving somewhere to run (even though the scenery could improve immensely). The thing I like about starting from home is that I know all of the mileage.
19. When running in daylight—> are sunglasses a must or an annoyance? I don't mind running in sunglasses.
20. When you get tired, what keeps you from quitting? I'm still trying to figure that out. Right now, every run is a battle. I used to run with a friend, and the conversation kept me going, but I don't run with her anymore.
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