I'm Supposed to be in Disneyland Today (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: Today is the last day of instruction for distance learning. Even though school isn't "officially" out yet, we're practically on summer break as of this morning. My kids had hardly any work today - in fact, Nicky had none this whole week.

Fact #2: Next week we have to go to the school to return the kids' chrome books and pick up their belongings. In the beginning, I almost didn't check out chrome books from the school because I didn't think we would need them. It seemed silly to have a laptop per child. I didn't realize in the beginning how "online" things would be. I'm not sure what I thought was going to happen.

Fact #3: I was asked to make two backdrops for the chrome book drop-off for students and teachers to take photos in front of. They needed to be big enough for social distancing, and they needed to be mobile so they could be moved in and out of the school across four days.

Yesterday Scotty and I made two 7' tall x 8' wide PVC frames to hang the backdrops from. I did a jungle theme - in homage to the "wild year" we've had. We made these signs:

Then today, the backdrops were called off. We're not allowed to get out of our cars when we go to the school next week. Our administration had different plans, and they've had to make changes under the direction of higher authorities. 

Fact #4: I'm not mad at anybody - it is what it is - but I'm sad about the circumstances. Why didn't I procrastinate the task for one more day? It's not my first labor of love that's been thwarted by the coronavirus, and it won't be the last. But it serves as a reminder that this really sucks. 

Like, really. 

Fact #5: I feel like I've been a pretty good sport throughout the pandemic. I've adapted. I've kept my cool. But now I'm shifting a little bit. Over the past few weeks, I've lost a bit of hope. In the beginning, even though things were shocking and hard to face, I felt so enveloped in God's love and protection. I saw God's presence in everything, even as things were falling apart all around us. That feeling is gone now. 

Fact #6: I'm fine, but something has left me. Something that was keeping me strong. I don't know what it is, exactly. I've been trying to figure out how to describe what I feel right now, and the best explanation I've found is that I'm in the disillusionment stage of disaster recovery - which is trademarked by impatience, anxiety, and exhaustion. 

Fact #7: I'm feeling really disheartened by the projections for the future, especially regarding school. I despair at the thought of my kids having to wear masks and of teachers having to be so hyper-focused on separation and sterilization. 

Fact #8: This may be a weird way to express it, but I miss germs. I just want to go out and lick a doorknob or something.

Fact #9: This weekend, we're going to dabble in socializing a bit. Nothing crazy. I will be hosting a backyard book club meeting tonight, and then we are having game night tomorrow. Our first since March 14.

Fact #10: Here's the latest photo of the baby birds. They're starting to get uglier. 

Sorry, babes. But you're going to grow up to be trash birds, and everyone is going to hate you. What a cruel fate!