Monday, February 4, 2019

FluBritt Goes KonMari - Episode 1

I first heard of Marie Kondo's book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up almost five years ago when a friend reviewed it on Goodreads. I took my friend's review as validation that I didn't need to read it. In fact, the very title of the book repulsed me. Over time, I heard more and more about the book and read more reviews from friends, and most of them found it "meh" or didn't like it at all, so I continued to thrive on the fact that I would never feel pressured to read it.

Over the past few months, in my prayers, I've been asking Heavenly Father what I can do to simplify my life. "Just help me find one, simple way to make my life calmer!" This has been especially important as I've tried to work toward lowering my blood pressure. Whenever my blood pressure tests high (which for the last year has been always), my doctors have asked, "Is there anything you're worried or stressed about right now that could be increasing your blood pressure?" and my answer is always, "There isn't anything specific - I feel pretty normal right now," and then when asked to describe what I feel like, I have to admit that I feel tense and overwhelmed all the time. That's normal to me. It's how I've always felt, even as a child and a teen.

I recall my AP psychology teacher calling me out on this in high school. We took a stress assessment in class, and I scored so high that he kept me after class and asked me why the heck I was so stressed. I said, "I'm not!" because I had no idea I was stressed. It was (and still is) my norm. Now I have a daughter who acts just like me, and I can see it so much clearer now. I'm always on edge! And she is too! Something needs to change!

When Marie Kondo's show came on Netflix at the beginning of the year, it was pretty easy to not pay any attention to it. I'd long ago learned that her "thing" wasn't for me. Then late one night, while Scotty was gone playing basketball, I got this little nudge to watch Marie Kondo.

I made it through about twenty minutes, and frankly, I was a little bored. I didn't have the patience for it, but I thought it was nice to see Marie Kondo in action. She seemed like a sweet lady and not the militant individual I imagined going into houses and demanding that people get rid of their junk and live a minimalist lifestyle. Even though I admired her calmness and her peaceful presence, I was still full of defiance. I watched her make the first couple take all their clothes out and go through them. After that, I stopped the show thinking I wouldn't come back to it. Then I went upstairs and started flipping through my shirts in my closet. I didn't even realize I was doing it. That's how Marie Kondo gets to you!

Despite my Marie Kondo aversion, I have always liked the idea of holding an item and seeing if it sparks joy, so I decided I would do that with my clothes, but I was going to do it my way. Then I thought. "You know what? She has a good point about putting all the clothes in a pile so you can see how much you have. Maybe I'll do that after all."


So pretty soon all my clothes were on my bed and I was holding things and thanking things, and I realized how beautiful it was to express gratitude to the clothing items that had served their purpose. I ended up parting with over half my wardrobe.

As I finished this quick process, I had the impression to keep going with other things. "This is it," my heart spoke to me, "This is the answer to your prayers! It's Marie Kondo! SURPRISE!!!"

So I kept working, and over the course of the past two weeks, I've gone KonMari on most of my house. I continued watching the show, and I even read the book!

I want to write about some of the experiences I've had and some of the things I've learned. I'm not trying to convince anyone to read the book, watch the show, or "tidy up." The reason I want to write about this is because my prayers were answered - not because I want to endorse any particular way of organizing one's living space (in fact, you'll learn very quickly that there are parts of the KonMari method that I am completely ignoring... stay tuned...) I also just want to share my experience with things coming to our lives during the right season. Five years ago, Marie Kondo's principles weren't what I needed, so I'm glad I didn't pick up her book just to hate-read it. It opened my heart to it at the right time!

"You... have been led by fate to read 
[this book], and that probably means
 you have a strong desire to change 
your current situation, to reset your 
life, to improve your lifestyle, 
to gain happiness, and to shine."
-Marie Kondo


2 comments:

misguidedmommy said...

I wish you had read my review on the book years ago because I LOVED IT. However after some time, you forget and the stuff comes back.

I cancelled netflix over a year ago, however when I heard about her show I knew I needed it back. I had been in a months long clinical depression, which means I stop reading, but I'm capable of sitting on my butt watching TV.

After the first episode I emptied my whole closet. Since then I, with my boys have done both of their rooms, closets, dressers, night stands etc. My youngest calls himself a shirt folding beast. I've done our pantry, both linen closets, medicine cabinet, kitchen, living room, and all that is left is the garage and attic.

I'm sure some will say this coincided perfectly with a manic episode of my bipolar, and that may be true, but I've felt a metaphorical weight lifted off of my shoulders. I'm so much calmer going to bed. My bathroom counter is EMPTY, besides my lotion and perfume which has never happened. I don't stress about it becoming messy again, because I realized 90% of the stuff on the counter wasn't bringing me joy. I got a ton of little bins at the dollar store to organize the kids bathroom drawers, and it's been much easier for them to put their things away daily. Their toothbrush and deodorant aren't laying around now, because there is a set place for them.

In my master linen closet I found 5 sets of sheets we hadn't used since we moved into the new house 4 years ago. FIVE! That's five beds from the paradise fire that can now have very nice sheets. I found several towels I haven't used in years. Clothes I was holding onto for no reason. Shoes I didn't need. Items I had gotten from subscription boxes that I would never use, but didn't know what to do with. Who throws away a $70.00 make up palate? Now it's all just getting donated to the fire victims and local shelters.

I still have a little check list of things I want to tidy, and I choose one small thing while I watch tv now. While I watched the remaining episodes of her show I made a running list of things to clean, that others cleaned out.

Things I have tidied
My bras (wow who knew this could make such a difference)
Closet
T shirt collection
master towel closet
sons drawers and closet
son 2 drawers and closet
the kitchen towel drawer (so much immense relief when I open this drawer now)
upstairs kids towel closet
playroom closet (my kids literally agreed to donate every single toy except about 12 pokemon and some baseball cards they are11 & 13 and realized they hadn't even been in that room in a year)
All subscription boxes have been consolidated and removed
I organized and removed some of my coffee mug collection
My SF giants collection has been cleaned up
my sock drawer
my bathroom drawer
my shorts drawer
medicine cabinet
the kids bathroom
the kids baseball cards
my sons desks
half of the dungeon under the stairs

whats left
attic ugh
garage ugh
other half of the closet under the stairs
purging my purses
the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets

What I found useful at the start was one of two tactics. If I had 20 minutes I would pick a room and see how far I could get. I did my sons entire dresser in 20 minutes. Or if I had 5 minutes I would pick one thing. One night before dinner I did my other sons extensive collection of athletic socks. One night I did my sports bras (I'm a personal trainer this drawer was out of control). One night before my shower I did under my bathroom sink. After my shower I did my bathroom drawer.

I've found setting time limits helps me not get overwhelmed. I think something else I need to do is empty my entire fridge, scrub it, and then put back what we need. But cleaning the fridge gives me a huge case of the sads so I avoid it.

misguidedmommy said...

Oh. I have to say the BEST SIDE EFFECT OF ALL, is how much it's helped me curb my spending. You won't even believe it when I say this, but last week I went to target for one thing (yogurt) and I left with ONE THING. I didn't actually know this was possible but it happened. I found myself looking at all of the stuff at Target and then thinking of the pile of stuff in my garage, about how much money was sitting in that pile, wasted money from impulse buys. I found myself looking at my organized drawers aware of exactly how many tank tops I needed and aware that I didn't need one more. I went back to menu planning and grocery budgeting because I also realizied I was just buying food with no purpose, and a lot went to waste. I haven't shopped since Christmas Eve and it's been such a relief. I don't need to bring more stuff into my house when I just took SO MUCH STUFF OUT. That's been the best side effect of the Kon Marie method. Realizing I don't need more stuff