Friday, October 6, 2017

Three Pieces of Advice

I've received a lot of advice throughout my life. Good advice and bad advice. Solicited advice and unsolicited advice.

I've also given a lot of advice throughout my life. Good advice and bad advice. Solicited advice and unsolicited advice.

Of all the advice I've been given, I can think of three things that I would consider the "greatest hits." These are pieces of advice that I fall back on over and over again, so I thought they should be shared!


The first piece of advice comes from an unknown source. I don't remember where I saw or heard it, but it is this:

"Treat your children the way you want others to treat them."

We receive all sorts of messages about parenting through various sources, and I confess, I don't take many to heart.

This particular counsel, however, made me stop and think really hard about the way I speak to and treat my children. When other people care for, teach, or discipline my kids, I expect them to speak kindly to them, to love them, and to truly listen to them. Yet, I frequently give myself a free pass on these things because I'm their mom. I have to deal with them night and day. For some reason, that makes me think I have the right to be impatient, short, and snippy with them. If other people treated my children the way I do, I would be outraged. I need to let go of the idea that it's okay for me to treat them poorly. It's not a parental right.

The second piece of advice comes from my third grade teacher, Mrs. Patterson.

If I have any writing skills at all, it's because of Mrs. Patterson. She saw something in me and nurtured it. She always pulled me aside from the class and gave me writing tasks. I didn't know that she was doing me such a great favor. I remember her having me write a piece for a contest. I worked on it for weeks simply because she told me to, and she set aside the time for me to do it. And then I won! Anyway, her advice was:

 "Let it get cold."

Any time we wrote something in Mrs. Patterson's class, she would gather our rough drafts and put them away for several days. She called it letting them "get cold." The purpose of this was to distance ourselves from our writing so we could proofread and edit with fresh eyes later. At the time, I did it just because that's how Mrs. Patterson ran her classroom, but now, I understand the value of letting my writing "get cold." I don't always have the patience for it, but when I do it, it yields much better writing.

The last piece of advice comes from Hank Smith, a popular LDS presenter. Several years ago, he wrote a guest post for the Red-Headed Hostess with tips for successful teaching. One of his tips was:

"Prepare until you are excited."

I have always remembered this, and for the past four years, I've used this for a guide for knowing when my Sunday school lessons or workshop presentations are "ready." I've found that no matter how much I dislike the topic or the content of the lesson, if I keep studying, praying, and working through it, I will always get to the point where I become excited to teach.

Have you ever received some advice that was really helpful to you? I would love to hear it!


4 comments:

Jo said...

You can learn something from everyone you meet. Good or bad.

Kate said...

Very good. I will be thinking about these. I don't write much, so the let it get cold advice doesn't apply to me much but at the same time it's good advice for anything we say on social medi. Makes me wish there was a draft folder on Facebook or instagram where you can keep your post and let it get cold before you publish. It all goes back to thinking before we speak.

JJ said...

One of the best pieces of advice I've been given was when I was getting married. My aunt said if I want to talk to someone in my family I should always go to the room where they are and never holler for them from another room. I can't say I follow this advice but I can tell a difference in our family's communication and tone when we go to the room to find the other person rather than yell. It's just really inconvenient... lol...

Sus said...

Whenever I've been asked for my 'best advice,' I always share this:

"Never do any job that you don't want to become your permanent responsibility. If you do it once, it'll become yours."

Just as an example, I mowed our lawn and trimmed it for years. When we moved to a new home that had 2/3 acre to mow and trim, I decided never to do it because I had too much on my plate. Because I never did it, it stayed my husband's job (as it should've been from the outset, really, cause he's the one who enjoyed it).

It's advice that's served me well. :)