#onetimeinclass

My stern, elderly 5th grade math teacher once asked us all to plug our ears so she could pass gas (I didn't plug mine).

#myworstcar

In high school I drove an '87 VW Jetta that had been jimmy rigged to start by pushing a doorbell under the steering wheel (yes, a doorbell). I had to push the doorbell at least eight times before it would start.

 

#whydidisaythat

One time I asked a guy at church if I could have his baby. I was referring to his chubby, adorable 6-month old son, whom I [jokingly] wanted to take home, but it didn't come across that way.

#badvice

When Zoe had really bad cradle cap, the pediatrician told me to put Vaseline on her scalp. It made her look like a flaky Jack Nicholson.

Read the story here.

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This post if part of a 31 day writing challenge which I adapted to be a 31 day Fallon-inspired hashtag challenge. Make my day and leave a comment on the hashtag!

#stopitdad

My dad says "oink" when he burps.

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This post if part of a 31 day writing challenge which I adapted to be a 31 day Fallon-inspired hashtag challenge. Make my day and leave a comment on the hashtag!

#awkwardpromstory

An older guy took me to prom my senior year. Everyone at the dance thought he was a chaperone, and the administrator kept trying to make him stand by the door.

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This post if part of a 31 day writing challenge which I adapted to be a 31 day Fallon-inspired hashtag challenge. Make my day and leave a comment on the hashtag!

#iusedtothink

I used to think cavities were formed by tiny bugs with pick axes. I taped my mouth shut one night so they couldn't get in.

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This post if part of a 31 day writing challenge which I adapted to be a 31 day Fallon-inspired hashtag challenge. Make my day and leave a comment on the hashtag!