Friendship: What You Get

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #1:

Friendship

I've been very blessed in friendship throughout my life, which is a miracle because I haven't always been a good friend. I don't know why some of my friends have stuck around as long as they have. I still have several friends from childhood that I'm in regular contact with. I've also picked up a lot of new friends over the years. I've lost some, too - a few from difficult times and others from simply growing apart or changes in proximity. 

Some of my OG's

I don't know if I'm an easy person to be friends with or not (I don't know if I want to know), but here are twelve things you can expect from me as your friend: 

1. I'm almost always on time. You won't have to wait for me. 

2. Anything you need is in my car. If the straw in your gas station drink is too long, don't worry! I have scissors. Did you forget a straw to begin with? Relax, Babe. I have one in my glove box. 

3. I won’t know how to hug you. If you're aiming for a side hug, I'll get confused and go full body contact. If you try to put your head to the right of mine, I'll nearly kiss you. I'm not anti-hug (in most cases), but I will not understand the approach, and I will do it wrong. I might even think you're going to hug me when you're not, and it will get real weird. 

4. I am a safe poop friend. You never need to be embarrassed around me regarding your "situation." If you are constipated, I will roll around on the floor with you and do the recommended yoga poses to stimulate your bowels. I will then cheer for you when it works. 

Us doing poo yoga: LOTR Edition

5. Speaking of going to the bathroom, I will need to use the potty everywhere we go. I need to go before the movie, during the movie, and after the movie. I will also need to go in the store and the restaurant and possibly at the nearest Maverik. But I promise I can guide you to the "friendliest" bathrooms in all of the places I visit frequently. 

6. If you like food, I will take good care of you. I will bring you food you like, buy the treats you love to surprise you, and sneak awesome goodies into the movie theater for us. 

I'll bring a cooler of hotdogs to the high school auditorium

7. I will try my hardest to communicate with you via telepathy. 

8. I will send you weird gifts from Amazon and buy you crazy things from the thrift store. 

To: Friend

From: Britt

9. I will not know how to tell you when I need help or when I'm going though something hard. I also might not do the right things when you need help or when you are going through something hard, but I will try!

10. I will tell you way too many details before I get to the point. I also might talk your ear off about things you really aren't interested in (see a list of examples here).

11. I will twin with you. 

12. I will hide things in your house. 

So that's a small sample of what I bring to the friendship. I can't tell you everything because I still need an element of surprise, but you don't have to go into this completely ignorant now!