When your face mole gets a zit, and you’re not sure if it’s a sign of skin cancer or an award-winning dermatological wonder.
When you start the rowing machine at the gym and punch yourself in the face with the handlebar.
When you’re stuck behind someone at a drive-thru who is clearly not a regular at fast food establishments, and you just wanna get out of your car and help them.
When someone doesn’t answer your text and then you have to see them in person, and to you, the text is the elephant in the room, and you’re not sure if you should dance around it or be like, “Hellooooo! Can you answer my text, please?”
When someone serves a special food item at a dinner because they think it’s something you love, but you’re not sure why they think that, and now you have to spend the rest of your life pretending to love that thing so you don’t hurt their feelings.
When you do a middle part, and you look like Snape.
Or take a selfie, and you look like Gollum.
When you’re backing out of a parking spot, and you notice a van just like yours two spaces down from you, and you have the sudden fear that you’re driving the wrong car.
When you have an itchy spot on your calf, but you’re wearing skinny jeans, and you have huge calves, so you can’t scrunch your pants up to get to the itch, and you have to pull them down and go in from the top.
When the exercise machine at the gym smells like butt.
And everyone around you smells like butt.
And YOU smell like butt.
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