Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Things the Kids Say: Episode 15

Eva (in the car): I need to go poop.

Me: Do I need to stop somewhere, or can you wait until we get home?

Eva: I can keep it in my storage room until we get home.

----------

Zoe: Mom, I really need a cell phone.

Me: No, you don't.

Zoe: Yes, I do! What if I get amnesia while I'm at school?

Me: Then you won’t remember who to call! 

----------

"Smack that child's fat... Goldfish!"

-Eva

----------

"Mom, when you die, I'm going to steal your phone out of your pocket and play Roblox."

-Eva

----------

Me to Eva: I need you to try and ignore Zoe for a while.

Eva: I can't ignore Zoe! I can only ignore parents!

----------

Katy Parry: You... change your mind... like a girl... changes clothes...

Zoe: This song bothers me. It has the same voice as a villain in my dreams.

----------

"Whoever invented Claire's must be famous, but I don't know what her name is."

-Zoe

----------

Eva: When can I watch YouTube? 

Me: In about fifteen minutes. 

Eva: What?!? I can't wait a whole month!

----------

"My butt itches… (ten second pause)

The cheek... (ten second pause)

Not the crack... (ten second pause)

It's the right cheek."

-Eva

----------

"I'm so hungry! I'm going to starve and die, and I don't want to be with Jesus! I hate heaven!"

-Eva

----------

Zoe: Mom, the music you listened to when you were a kid is so lame. It's all... EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

Me: Hey! That song is awesome!

Zoe: No. It's really not.



No comments: