Message A and Message B and What I Do About It

There's a contradiction I experience a lot as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It comes between Message A): "You are doing great. Work at your own pace. The Lord will meet you where you are, etc..." and Message B): "Do better NOW. Be better NOW. Here are 50 ways you don't quite measure up..." Frankly, it stresses me out, and I wonder why we are given Message A and Message B simultaneously (hello, General Conference!) Am I supposed to keep doing what I'm doing, or do I need to assess everything I do and rise up to high expectations that I feel are beyond my current abilities? It's overwhelming, and sometimes it makes me feel like I'll never be good enough. 

There's a lot of commentary about this especially in regards to its affect on mental health. A while ago, I decided to take it to the Lord and ask for better understanding on my part. I asked for help discerning these messages and knowing how to apply them in my life without getting overwhelmed or upset by them, and I received an impression that I want to always remember: 

Each talk, each plea, and each message that comes from a Church leader who is influenced by the Spirit has the potential to invoke change in someone for the better. Maybe that talk on family history (or whatever topic it be) that completely burdened me and made me feel like I'll never be able to "do it all" is the very talk, that upon reaching the ears of ten struggling individuals, changed their lives forever! Or maybe those words were exactly what ONE person needed. Shouldn't it, then, be spoken? Even if it's not the "perfect" message for me? Would I expect a Church leader to not say something that can change or influence someone else just because I'm not in the right place to hear it?

Therefore, we receive all kinds of messages, all kinds of influence, all kinds of words and encouragement in different areas from our Church leaders because we are all changed and influenced in different ways. The message I struggle to hear might be the very message that penetrated the heart of another. And maybe that person will follow that counsel and do that thing that I find hard, and they'll be all the better for it. Perhaps the message I struggle with is the message that brings someone else to Christ, and when I acknowledge that, I have more mercy in regards to the messages that feel harsh to me personally. 

Several years ago I started recognizing the difference between inspiration and guilt. Now, maybe "guilt" isn't the right word choice, but over the years, I haven't come up with something better, so let me explain what I mean. In some aspects, "guilt" is considered a positive thing because it can move people toward change (namely, repentance). But in the context I am using, "guilt" is a feeling of needing to "be as good as" someone else says we should or to "live up to" a standard that we're not quite ready to achieve. There may even be an edge of competitiveness involved. I confess, there have been times where I've chosen another person by which to measure myself. Someone to be better than. This guilt feels heavy and doesn't necessarily stem from the right place. I have learned that if I act on "guilt," my motives are not pure, and I don't really succeed. If I respond to inspiration, however, I have great results. When I feel inspired, I am ready to take action, and the results are usually far more impactful and long-lasting. Inspiration feels light and comes with a special kind of energy. It's also accompanied with increased love for others. Since making this realization, I've often paused and asked myself, "Am I acting out of guilt or inspiration?" 

Now let me clarify one thing. I am not suggesting that the deliverer of the message is to credit for my feeling guilt. Whether I feel guilt or inspiration stems from me and where my heart is. Yes, there are leaders who err in what they say, but my relationship with the Spirit is the tool by which I can discern that, and for the most part, I believe our Church leaders' primary intention is to buoy us up and bring us closer to the Savior. 

Rather than being critical of messages that make me feel "guilty," I try to just set them aside for a time (revisiting them later might bring about a completely different result) and focus on the messages that I find immediately inspiring. This has been an important lesson for me personally because it has helped me to Hear Him more effectively. It has also helped me to do more preparation to receive messages from my Church leaders so that I can feel more inspired and less guilty. 

Now what is this thing I'm doing where I get all spiritual for two post in a row? It's just where my mind and heart are right now. With my kids going back to school, I've been able to spend more time studying and learning and seeking the Spirit, and it has been a balm to my soul. If you survived this post, like you did the last one, you definitely deserve another cookie!