Saturday, August 5, 2017

Ten Random Facts: Post-Graduation Edition

Fact #1: I'm still learning to navigate life post-graduation. I have moments where I worry that I'm behind in schoolwork, and then I remember that I'm not in school. Then I experience the joyful relief that comes from knowing that I'm FREE! I don't even have the words to describe what that feels like - to be rid of the constant looming of schoolwork.

Fact #2: While I'm grateful for my education and everything I've learned, one of the best blessings I've gotten from going to school was learning to recognize and appreciate "calm." Things are calm for a minute, and I love it and need it!

Fact #3: I've had some motivation for the past two weeks that I refer to as "momentum." I know that eventually the excitement of being done with school will fade, and the momentum will go away, but until it does, I'm taking full advantage of it. 

I've been getting a lot of stuff done around the house - cleaning, organizing, painting etc (though if you were to walk into my house right now, you would not be impressed. My cleaning and organizing process is really messy). 

I shampooed my van carpets, painted my living room, started painting the trim and doors (a task that needs to be done throughout the entire house), went through all of my kids' clothes and shoes and got rid of or boxed-up everything they don't wear, got our van repaired from when someone backed into it in June, fully loaded my freezer with freezer meals, and took my laptop in to get fixed.

Fact #4: I've also been unusually social lately.

Fact #5: I wish I could just always be like this - a high-functioning, productive, social person - but I'll probably crash and burn any second now.

Update: I think the "social" portion of the crash and burn happened this weekend. 

Fact #6: One negative side-effect of graduating is that I've been experiencing what I've started calling "insecurity attacks." I have moments where I feel good about myself and proud of what I've accomplished in life - not just schoolwise, but in general. But then I have times where I'm hit with a huge influx of insecurity, and I feel like I'm worthless and insignificant. The distorted thoughts come on fast and unexpectedly, like when I'm in the middle of eating lunch, so that's why I call them "attacks." I've always had battles with these feelings, of course, but right now they are coming on stronger and more frequently than they normally do.

Fact #7: One of the things I want to do now that I'm graduated is learn to love reading again. I regret to say that I've lost interest in books. Prior to returning to school, I read three book a week. Now that I have the freedom to read for leisure again, I just can't do it. 

Fact #8: I found out the other day that my degree made it through the final approval process and was posted to my transcript. It's officially official!

Fact #9: I celebrated my graduation by stopping my anti-depressants again. In hindsight, I probably should have waited until my kids went back to school.

Fact #10: I only had about eight insecurity attacks while writing this post across the span of two days. 


Feisty Harriet said...

YYYAAAAAAYYYY GRADUATION! (Please say that in a "Heeey, Macarena!" voice, thank you.)


Becky K said...

To know what calm is...yes! Amen! Hallelujah! I totally understand this, Britt. ❤️