Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Summer Fix

Summer vacation is quickly coming to a close. My kids start school on Monday.*  Usually, by this point, I'm more than ready to send my kids back to school, but this year, for the first time ever, I don't want them to go back to school.

I never thought those words would come out of my

The reasons I'm feeling this way are three-fold:

Reason #1: Nicky and Daisy have been pretty helpful while they've been home for the summer. I've realized that having Zoe and Eva home while Nicky and Daisy are gone is sometimes harder than having all four kids home.

Reason #2: I'm not ready for the responsibility that comes with having kids in school. Packing lunches, morning routines, carpooling all over the earth. In past years I've thrived on these things, but this year, I'm dreading it. I'm not looking forward to enforcing regular showers or supervising homework.

Reason #3: I don't want to send my kids out into the world. I just want them to stay home where I can shelter them from everything ugly, dangerous, and unholy.

Regardless of how I feel about the kids going back to school, it's inevitable. Summer break is coming to a close!

This summer has been a little on the boring side for us. Since I was finishing two classes and an internship well into July, we spent the first half of summer doing a whole lotta nothing. Finishing an internship with the kids home from school was harder than I ever thought it would be. I felt horrible about it, but I had to continually tell my kids that we wouldn't be doing a lot of fun things until I was done with school. I couldn't handle having friends over or taking my kids anywhere. I just had to hunker down and get school done. With a great amount of guilt, I put my kids on the back burner for those last several weeks. I kept them fed, but that's about it.

Since graduating, I've tried to be more present, more nurturing, and more fun.

(I have to confess, I'm not naturally any of those things. I have to work really hard to be those things for my children. I'm much more prone to doing my own thing and wanting the kids to entertain themselves).

There are a lot of things we didn't do this summer. We didn't go on a single hike. We didn't host any BBQs. We didn't have nearly enough game nights. We didn't go to any splash pads (I'm actually okay with this). We didn't have a garden or eat BLTs. We didn't hang out with friends much. We didn't do a lot with family. 

So perhaps there's a fourth reason I'm not ready to send my kids back to school. We didn't get our fix!

*Parents in our school district were given the opportunity to voice their opinion on whether the start of school should be planned around the eclipse. I didn't even know that this was something to be concerned about. Since school is starting on the day of the eclipse, our district is allowing kids to miss school without penalty. I didn't know that missing school to see an eclipse was a thing.

**This is the one thing my kids beg for incessantly that I go to great lengths to not have to do!  

1 comment: said...

You don't want school to start... I can't even process that sentiment.