Weird Things My Kids Do

Today I gave Eva a few Ritz crackers to munch on, and she threw them on the floor. She always throws Ritz crackers on the floor. Could it be that she doesn't like Ritz crackers? I thought followed by Strange child! And that got me thinking about how weird my kids are sometimes, and that's what led me to write this post.

Here are a few more things about my kids that I think are weird (to protect their weirdness, I'm not going to use names or genders, and I'll refer to all of them as "it" because I'm tactful like that):

Weird thing #1: I have a kid who likes to lick hair. I have to constantly tell this child to not lick the baby's head (process of elimination: it's not the baby)

Weird thing #2: Another child often picks up hair from the ground and puts it in it's mouth. I always pull the hair out of it's mouth right away, but who knows how much hair it's putting in there that I never see. Is it ingesting the hair? I'm not sure. But I have my trichophagia radar on.

Weird thing #3: One of my children likes to smell it's feet. In fact, we were at the doctor's office just this morning when this kid climbed on the table, flipped it's shoes off, and brought it's feet right to it's face and started sniffing. The doctor was a little startled.

Weird thing #4: One of my kids loves mushrooms and wants them everyday for lunch. It eats a pound of mushrooms all by itself and then asks for more.

Weird thing #5: The mushroom child has a ritual of lining the mushrooms (when they are whole) along the handle of the oven. I have to let this happen or the child gets upset, so I stand by patiently waiting for it to finish making a row of mushrooms. Then the child insists on handing them to me one at a time so I can slice and saute them.

Weird thing #6: One of my kids likes to stretch it's eyeball sockets while I'm doing it's hair. It calls this "eyeball yoga."

Weird thing #7: Two of my kids cry if we look at pictures from our Disneyland vacations.

Weird thing #8: One of my kids is obsessed with the name Bob. It sings songs about Bob and calls everyone Bob.

Weird thing #9: One of my kids wants to be a chicken farmer when it grows up.

Weird thing #10: One of my kids likes to smash Smarties into dust and put it in little sandwich baggies and carry it around in it's pocket. Um, yeah... it looks like cocaine.

Weird thing #11: Two of my kids like to fill garbage bags with water, hang them from the swing set, and hit them with sticks. They call it "playing pinata."

Weird thing #12: Two of my children cry if they hear the song "Crash and Burn" by Thomas Rhett because it reminds them of Shaun the Sheep (the movie) which, according to them, is very sad. The song and the movie are completely unrelated, so... whatever.