Phases and Things

There are hard times I can look back on and breathe a huge sigh of relief and think, "Phew! It was just a phase!"

For example: the phase where Nicky would pee in random places around the house, like in his toys, in the bathroom garbage can, and in the muffin tin. Or the phase where Daisy would take off her night-time diaper every morning and throw it behind the TV.

The thing about phases is... sometimes you don't know it's "just a phase" until it's over. When you're in the thick of it, it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. There are phases you can assume your child will grow out of, like the booger eating phase, you just don't know when.* Then there are other circumstances that might not be "just a phase," like the anxiety that makes your son's stomach hurt and keeps him awake all night. You begin to realize that it's not a phase at all but a "thing," and it's not going to go away.

Phases and things overlap, they pile up, and sometimes they even repeat.

Right now, I'm not dealing well with our "phases" and "things." Some are minor, like the booger eating. It's gross and humiliating, but by itself, it's not a huge deal. Piled up with everything else, though, seeing my kid eat a booger is a catalyst for an emotional breakdown because it reminds me of everything I can't fix.

We've hit a point in life where our kids' problems are starting to get bigger and more worrisome. I've seen a few things happening lately that are red flags, and I feel like, if we don't get them managed, we will be in big trouble in the next few years. I don't know how to help my kids with their problems. I feel like their phases (or are they things?) are beyond my parenting ability. One of the worst things about parenting not knowing what to do. The only thing worse is when you do know what to do, but you're incapable of doing it.

I'm really struggling keeping everything together right now. The phases and things are spreading me very thin, and I feel like I can't take care of my children's needs. I have to pick and choose between them all the time, and as a result, everyone is suffering. Somehow I was fooled into thinking it was possible to have four kids and take care of them all. I was duped into believing there was enough of me for all of them. There's not. There's not enough of me. I can't meet their needs, and it's a horrible feeling. 


*It doesn't help that the child prefers to eat boogers with an audience, like at the grocery store or in sacrament meeting. And it also doesn't help when the audience tries to talk your kid out of eating a booger. Really, audience? Thank you for your input. My child will now quadruple the booger intake due to the attention you just gave her.