Fascinating Me

I've developed a habit lately of starting blog posts and never finishing them, so I have a pretty crowded draft folder right now. Most of the posts start off decent, but then I can tell where I lost my train of thought or got distracted by something. Conclusions have never been a strong point for me, so unfinished blog posts are just part of my life.

Today I was skimming through my draft folder, and I found this list of things about me:

• I am not really into movies. It's rare for me to watch a movie and feel like it was worth my time in the end.

• I have always loved the X-Men (so there is an exception to the "not really into movies" statement; I love X-Men movies). I find the characters fascinating and well-developed. I love the dichotomy between Magneto and Professor Xavier - it is so contrary to the usual good guy/bad guy relationship. I appreciate that there are reasons for the characters being who they are. I love a good back story!

• One of my favorite themes in literature and film is ethics. I love books and movies that explore standards and values and how they are changed by unique circumstances. This is one of the reasons the X-Men are so appealing to me. I love the question of whether mutants are a threat to the human race or whether they deserve the same rights and privileges as the rest of humanity. I especially like when there are strong arguments for both sides, no black and white, no clear right and wrong.

• I am a fanatical budgeter. I have all of our finances planned out six months in advance. This is crucial to my survival as a stay-at-home-mom. Do not confuse me with a couponer or someone who is looking to get stuff for free all the time. I do enjoy a bargain, but my time is just as important as my money. I do not stand in long lines or fight crowds to get good deals. I do not use my time to hunt down coupons. I can't. I just can't. But all of our spending is strategically planned so that we live within our means.

• I make a clicking sound in the back of my throat when I am deep in thought. I do it mostly when I am lying in bed, and it used to drive Scotty crazy when we were first married.

• My house is never clean. Parts of it are clean from time to time, but I can't remember the whole house being clean at once. Ever.

• I have generalized anxiety disorder (boo hoo, I know, I know). I can't handle crowds or unfamiliar places, especially when I am expected to take the lead. I have a really hard time talking to people I don't know, and sometimes I even have a hard time talking to people I do know. If I don't know what to expect from a situation, I avoid it altogether. I rarely go to weddings or showers, and sometimes I even skip out on family parties. I do all of my grocery shopping early in the morning to avoid crowds. If a parking lot looks a little too full, I will leave and not go in. I go out to eat during weird hours, and I prefer to shop outside of the five mile radius of my home to decrease the awkward and unexpected run-ins with people I know.

• I find temple weddings particularly awkward because after a temple wedding ceremony, the bride and groom always stand at the front of the room, and everyone is directed to congratulate them as we leave. There is no other way out of the room (short of running out cupping your mouth as if you are about to vomit, which, believe me, I have considered) - you MUST walk past the bride and groom to get to the door, and everyone is HUGGING!!! And if you only know the bride and not the groom (or vice versa) you have to decide whether it is more awkward to hug a complete stranger or to be the ONE PERSON in the room who insists on only shaking hands. 

• I'm not a sun and water person. I could go all summer and not step foot near a pool, and I would be just fine. I would love a nice tan, but I've had too many skin problems in my short life to justify exposing myself to the sun's harmful rays. Give me a sixty-five degree day with cloud cover, and I am one happy woman!

• When I'm alone and thinking, I make gestures, so if you ever walk in on me unexpectedly, I might look like I'm in the middle of a conversation. 

I'd like to think I am an interesting person, but after reading this list, I'm pretty sure I'm nuts (as evidenced by the fact that I like to take pictures of my chin as a butt).