The Weekend Away

This week is our anniversary. Scotty and I have been married for 14 years (as of Tuesday - sappy anniversary post pending). We realized, as we discussed the timeline of our lives together, that we have been a couple for 18 years. This means that our relationship is a legal adult, but it's not old enough to drink. It's basically lost in emerging adulthood.

To celebrate our anniversary, we decided to head out of town for the weekend. We stayed one night without kids, thanks to my brave mom, and then the kids came and stayed for the second night (we went "out of town" but not far).

We went to one of those places that acts like it's fancy, but when you look past the charm, you detect that it's really out-of-date and not actually any nicer than the two-star Howard Johnson you usually stay in.

Luckily, we got our room for about half price, but I was still very obsessed with pointing out everything about the place that bugged me (I don't do this at the Howard Johnson because I know what I'm getting when I book a room at the Howard Johnson, but you better believe I do it at a place that charges an arm and a leg and makes itself out to be better than it really is). 

I won't give you the whole List of Things That Bugged, but I will show you this one minor detail:

The light fixtures. 

Please tell me I'm not the only person who thinks the placement of these lamps is horrible. Am I too picky? Am I?

I just can't imagine that any interior designer or electrician would think this was a good idea... and yet... there it is!

How am I supposed to sit in bed and watch TV with a lamp in my head space? Scotty and I both hit our heads on the darn thing. Howard Johnson would never do that to us! 

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I was going to say something else about our weekend, but now I'm too fired up about the light fixtures. Give me a minute to compose myself...

Okay...

Nope. I'm not quite there yet. 

I'm trying to think about what we did for our weekend getaway, but my mind is completely consumed with thoughts of the lamps over my head (and all of the other nuisances that I promised not to mention).

What I Feel Today

Some things have happened over the past few weeks that have reminded me that there is a God.

I have seen evidence of His hand in my life. Evidence that I can't deny.

Sometimes I grow distant from Him, and I start to struggle with finding Him. But today, I feel Him strongly, and I believe in Him firmly.

I just wanted to put that out there.

For you.

But also for me. For the days I forget or doubt.

“Yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator” (Alma 30:44 Book of Mormon)

Vomit & Things

It's late, and one of my kids threw up tonight.

There's something about having a kid throw up that makes me want to blog.

It might be because I need to reach out and say, "Hello, World. It's me, Britt. I've been barfed on, but you didn't take me down!"

(For a minute there, though, it almost did take me down).

Since it wouldn't be ideal to write an entire post about child vomit, here are some other things going on right now.

Thing 1

I went off my anti-depressants. That was stupid. I found myself right back in That Place. I started them up again, but it hasn't been long enough for me to feel better.

Thing 2

I hate running.

Just had to throw that out there.

Thing 3

The reason my child barfed is because she hates her antibiotic. Zoe and Eva both have ear infections. Eva has to be pinned down twice a day for ten days to get an antibiotic in her (it's awful, and I hate it with every fiber of my being). She does not want to take it, and she will scream and gag until she throws it all back up in my face.

Pretty much all of my kids have gone through this "make myself throw up to win the power struggle" phase.

Thing 4

Last semester, I had this amazing confidence. I felt like I could do anything. I felt like I was going somewhere in life and that my education was solid. I felt like I'd found a path of sorts, like maybe I was heading in the right direction.

That's gone now.

Thing 5

My internship has given me a huge reality check. I thought that maybe after I graduate, I could take on some work from home. I don't know how mothers work from home. It's one thing to do a school assignment. It's a completely different thing to have to work a set amount of hours in your home each week when your life is ruled by tiny dictators.

Thing 6

My kids never stop fighting, and my house is always a mess. Being a mom is hard.

I keep trying, but I'm not getting any better at it.

#mascotgoals

About a year ago I met my friend Shannon, and the angels sang.

Shannon and I routinely text each other about our nap schedules.

Allow me to elaborate a little. Shannon moved into her in-laws' house, one street away from me, last May. I met Shannon at church, and we became good friends quickly. We now joke that the angels in heaven rejoiced as they watched us meet because they knew what was coming, but we had no idea. 

Along with that joke is the assumption that we were good friends before we came to earth, and that God told us that we would have to wait 33+ years before we found each other in mortality. Our reaction was, "Okay. It's cool. We can do this." 

Because we trusted God. 

And we were a bit naive about mortality. 

I say "joke" because I don't know what else to call it, but we are actually quite serious about this. We often say to each other, "Remember when we met in Relief Society, and the angels sang?

We have created enough memes with our faces in them that I had them made into

a book for Shannon for Christmas.

One thing I really enjoy about Shannon is that she has some things in common with me that I haven't had in common with someone before. Our friendship began with a lot of bizarre "Me too!"s.

One of our foundational "Me too!"s is that we both want to be mascots.

I'm not talking Chick-Fil-A cows waving on a street corner. We want to work the crowd! We want to perform!

I don't remember how the subject came up, but I do remember that we were on a morning walk, and we ended up staying out for an extra 45 minutes because there was so much to say about mascots.

Now we routinely text each other #mascotgoals. When I was at the Utah Grizzlies game, I texted Shannon, "I don't want to be a mascot on ice." She agreed. We don't do ice (though Shannon has a suppressed desire to be a figure skater - she just doesn't want to do it in a large animal head). And when Shannon was at the Utah Jazz game, she sent me a video of the Jazz Bear riding a motorcycle, and she said, "I would ride it with so much more pizzazz!'

And I know she would! She's all about her craft.

In our mascot-ing dream, hip hop dancing is a must.

Shannon, in particular, would like to do a mascot rendition of "Whatcha Say" from So You Think You Can Dance.

Shannon and I regularly practice our dance moves via Fitness Marshall videos, and to make our rehearsals legit, Shannon has a cat costume, and I, of course, have my chicken costume (they don't breathe well. Our professional costuming will have a cooling system).

We came up with a mascot idea in November that we want to pitch to a certain company. We have costume ideas and the whole bit. We just need to find an "in." And we'll totally do it for free if they will spring for the costumes.

We've talked about hosting mascot retreats where mascot friends can get together for a weekend to relax and share inspiration. Obviously, when we are mascots, we will have a mascot tribe...

...of mascot-ing women...

...in their mid to late thirties...

Okay, so maybe it's too late in life to be anything more than the mascots of our children's elementary schools.

We're too out of shape to do back handsprings. 

World Book Day

Today is World Book Day.

Since going back to school, I haven't spent as much time reading for leisure as I would like, but I still consider books a big part of my life. My relationship with books is different now than it was three years ago, but that's part of being in a relationship - navigating change.

In honor of World Book Day, I want to share ten of my favorite quotes from books I've read (these are only some of the many quotes I love).

Quote #1

"Do you know the feeling when you start reading a book before the membrane of the last one has closed behind you? You leave the previous book with ideas and themes - characters even - caught in the fibers of your clothes, and when you open the new book, they are still with you."

-The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

The quote perfectly describes something I've tried to express, and you know when you have a thought but not the words to say it, and when you finally find it written in someone else's words, you rejoice? This quote did that for me.

Quote #2

“Children are a burden to a mother, but not the way a heavy box is to a mule. Our children weight hard on my heart, and thinking about them growing up honest and healthy, or just living to grow up at all, makes a load in my chest that is bigger than the safe at the bank, and more valuable to me than all the gold inside it.” 

-These is My Words by Nancy E. Turner

The word "burden" may seem harsh, but it truly is weight to worry over your children and their well-being.

Quote #3

"...there will be more joy in heaven over the tears of a repentant sinner than over the white robes of a hundred good men."

-Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

In reality, I don't think God will weigh one over the other, but I love this reminder that we can change for the better. We can overcome our mistakes of the past and be made whole because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ

Quote #4

"October. My favorite month... There's a chill in the air that lifts my heart and makes my hair stand on end. Every moment feels meant for me. In October, I'm the star of my own movie... and I have faith in my own rising action... I come alive in October... October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars into my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins."

-Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

I love October, and the phrase, "every moment seems meant for me" is exactly how I feel when I get to wear long pants and walk through crisp leaves. 

Quote #5

"Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are."

-I am the Messenger by Markus Zusak

I love this quote because character is truly what makes a person beautiful, but it also takes someone special to see that kind of beauty in others.

Quote #6

"It's the choosing that's important, isn't it?"

-The Giver by Lois Lowry

This quote is short and simple, but for me, it has great meaning. Agency and opposition are two strong themes in The Giver. These two things have essentially been removed from society in this book, and as they are introduced to the main character, Jonas, he begins to understand that they are necessary to the human experience. 

Quote #7

“The depression belongs to all of us. I think of the family down the road whose mother was having a baby and they went around the neighborhood saying, "We're pregnant." I want to go around the neighborhood saying, "We're depressed." If my mum can't get out of bed in the morning, all of us feel the same. Her silence has become ours, and it's eating us alive.”

-Saving Fransesca by Melina Marchetta

This quote stands out to me because I've had some issues with depression, and even though my depression is quite mild, I know that it affects my family. Research has shown that mothers with depression are inconsistent in parenting and have difficulty attaching to their children. Additionally, children of depressed mothers are more likely to struggle with depression, themselves. "We" have depression, and it haunts me. 

Quote #8

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

-Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling

This is another nod to the importance of agency. Our choices matter. 

Quote #9

“Millions of people can draw. Art is whether there is a scream in you wanting to get out in a special way.”

-My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok

I don't draw, but I have had other things screaming to get out.

Quote #10

“...I'm always finding humans at their best and worst. I see their ugly and their beauty, and I wonder how the same thing can be both."

-The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

The human experience is both ugly and beautiful. I love the observations made by the narrator in this book, Death. We are magnificently and horrifically flawed.

Hold On To Your Ears

This post was inspired by poop.

Really.

The other day I was at the park with a friend, and we started talking about poop. I'm always shocked at how much there is to say about poop. Before I knew it, we'd engaged in 15 minutes of bowel-related conversation. I think we only stopped talking about poop because we needed to leave. The experience made me realize that I can talk someone's ear off about poop, if given the opportunity.

(Half of you are nodding because you can, too, and the other half of you are horrified).

This got me thinking about what other topics I can easily talk someone's ear off about, and I decided to make a master list. Maybe the list will come in handy someday. Maybe it will prevent me from talking about poop where poop isn't wanted. If we ever go to lunch, you can print it off and highlight the things you'll allow me to discuss in the event of awkward silence.

Here are some of the choices:

• My kids
• Books & other things I've read
• TV (including, but not limited to: Gilmore Girls, White Collar, Sherlock, Call the Midwife, Robin Hood, Scrubs, M*A*S*H, How I Met Your Mother, Home Fires, Friday Night Lights, Hart of Dixie, When Calls the Heart, & Downton Abbey) (note that I don't have all positive things to say about these shows. The conversation might include several frustrations)
• The gospel
• Disneyland
• Pregnancy & childbirth
• Food
• Anything and everything I've learned in school (this part of the list is very, very long - it might require its own post)
• The 90's
• Board games
• Everything I've bought from Ross or the thrift store in the past year 
• Blogging
• Things that bug me
• Depression
• Throw up
• Why vans are awesome
• Running (but not from the perspective of loving it)
• My past jobs
• My history of celebrity crushes
• Umm.... myself...
• Lost (I know I already mentioned TV, but Lost is a subject of its own)

And, if all of these fail, there's always poop. Now, what would you talk my ear off about in return?

Facebook Test Run

Just a quick, little post to let you know that I have started a Facebook page for my blog. I know I'm several years behind on the times, but here is the link if you would like to follow.

I actually started it three months ago, and then I panicked because I didn't have a cover photo or a profile picture that I liked, so I let it sit until it was about to get deleted.

I figured it's time to dabble a little, and see if I like this medium. I miss interacting with my readers through comments, so I'm hoping a Facebook page will allow us to interact a little more.

At this very moment, I have two followers! And both are relatives! Ha ha!