It's late, and one of my kids threw up tonight.
There's something about having a kid throw up that makes me want to blog.
It might be because I need to reach out and say, "Hello, World. It's me, Britt. I've been barfed on, but you didn't take me down!"
(For a minute there, though, it almost did take me down).
Since it wouldn't be ideal to write an entire post about child vomit, here are some other things going on right now.
I went off my anti-depressants. That was stupid. I found myself right back in That Place. I started them up again, but it hasn't been long enough for me to feel better.
I hate running.
Just had to throw that out there.
The reason my child barfed is because she hates her antibiotic. Zoe and Eva both have ear infections. Eva has to be pinned down twice a day for ten days to get an antibiotic in her (it's awful, and I hate it with every fiber of my being). She does not want to take it, and she will scream and gag until she throws it all back up in my face.
Pretty much all of my kids have gone through this "make myself throw up to win the power struggle" phase.
Last semester, I had this amazing confidence. I felt like I could do anything. I felt like I was going somewhere in life and that my education was solid. I felt like I'd found a path of sorts, like maybe I was heading in the right direction.
That's gone now.
My internship has given me a huge reality check. I thought that maybe after I graduate, I could take on some work from home. I don't know how mothers work from home. It's one thing to do a school assignment. It's a completely different thing to have to work a set amount of hours in your home each week when your life is ruled by tiny dictators.
My kids never stop fighting, and my house is always a mess. Being a mom is hard.
I keep trying, but I'm not getting any better at it.