September Writing Challenge - Prompt #s 18 & 27:*
Important/Not Important
I often express that parenting feels like a big experiment. We just try our best and see what happens. Everyone does it so differently, too, so it's easy to see what others are doing and wonder if you're getting it wrong. I often have to remember that it's not always a matter of right or wrong. Sometimes we just do it differently, and that's okay! I'm responsible for my circus, and my monkeys. In the experimental way that Scotty and I choose to parent, here are some things that have become important and not important in the way we are raising our kids:
(Prepare yourself, you may be horrified!)
Important:
Being mindful of other people
Giving a good effort
Mental health
Thanking people and being grateful for what you have
Honoring commitments/being reliable/doing your part
Developing good character
Being on time
Budgeting
Learning to pray about things and recognize and act by the Spirit
Adapting when things don't go the way you expect
Family trips & activities
Eating breakfast
Doing your own laundry
Positive body image
Pool/water safety
Being comfortable coming to Mom & Dad
Keeping things "15 minutes from clean"
Obeying laws pertaining to drivers licenses
Pronouncing words correctly
Being comfortable owning your mistakes
Trying the Disneyland ride once per visit even though you hated it last time because you might like it now that you're older (Dad's rule)
Not Important:
Straight A's
Perfect attendance
Making beds
Mating socks
Taking off shoes in the house
Sports
Earning college credit
Having the latest and greatest of everything
Separating light and dark laundry
Drinking your cereal milk
Keeping the house pristine ("15 minutes from clean" is my standard as stated above)
Having styled hair (I'd be happy if you brushed it, though)
Mixed Play Doh
Not eating before the prayer has been said
Finishing chores before you can play
Some of the things on my "not important" list used to be "important," but over time, I've made adjustments. "Choosing your battles" is no joke! Just because it's on the "important" list doesn't mean we're good at it (but we'd like to be!) And some things that aren't important in our family could probably use an explanation. For example, even though sports are not "important" to us, if our children want to play a sport, we'll support them. It's just not a priority for us as parents to have our children participate in sports. In fact, we have really loved having our Saturdays free to do family activities. Also, our kids get so few social invitations that when someone asks one of our children to play, we will drop everything to let it happen. There are exceptions, but most of the time, if their chores aren't done, oh well! Please go play! The dishes will still be here when you get back. I'll report back in twenty years and let you know if that was a bad choice. In the meantime, the experiment continues!
*I didn't realize I had added both of these prompts to my list until I was looking over it a few days ago. I also have "priority" and "focus" on the list, so maybe that's a sign I need to realign my values.
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