Sunday Sentiments - Thoughts From the Bottom Rung

A few years ago, I had an experience that changed my entire spiritual existence. To explain it would require me to write many chapters. I started writing the story and decided it was just too much (for me and for you), so suffice it to say, a thing happened, and I've been different ever since. 

What I will say is that the change needed to happen - ultimately I think I will be better for it, but it has affected the way I live my faith, and sometimes I feel like I've had a setback that I won't ever recover from. I feel a bit like I slipped down the ladder. 

This week, I read a bit from The Divine Gift of Forgiveness by Elder Neil L. Andersen, and I found this quote that gave me a bit of hope: 

Even if you feel like you are at the very bottom of life's ladder, there is something you can do. You can look up. If all you can manage is to simply lift your eyes to Him, you have done something in an effort to return to Him. You will come to know that He "reaches [your] reaching." You may have a long climb, a steep climb, even a daunting climb, but looking up is an important step as you begin your journey forward... More important than where you are is the direction you face, and especially Whom you face. 

 

When I was in my early twenties, I read the book My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok. In the book, Asher went through a religious journey of his own. I don't know why, but the book had a huge impact on me, and my copy is full of notes and highlights. One quote that stood out strongly to me was this:

A man does not always remain at the same stage. He is always ascending and descending. When he reaches the top, he must concern himself with the probability that he will fall. When he reaches the bottom, he must strive once again to climb to the top. That is the nature of man. When the soul of a man is in his darkest night, he must strive constantly for new light. When one thinks there is only an end, that is when one must struggle for the new beginning.

My copy of Asher Lev

So if you, like me, find yourself in a different spot on the ladder than you think you should be or a different spot than you used to be, give yourself some grace. The Lord will meet us there and help us climb.