Sunday Sentiments - Blessed are the Peacemakers

Things feel really uneasy in our community and in our nation right now. In many ways, that's nothing new, but in other ways, there are significant issues being brought to light, and with that comes heavy unrest. 

This week many of our local schools experienced walkouts pertaining to ICE operations. We've received multiple communications from the schools urging parents to help their kids protest outside of school hours due to safety and disrupted learning. The schools cannot physically prevent students from walking out, nor can they ensure their safety once they have left campus. 

The walkouts have taken place across multiple days, but my kids' schools took place on my day off (Wednesday). I was out running errands while the kids were walking, so I drove past them a few different times as they made their way a mile down the road. Then I caught a second wave of students a little later that were coming from the junior high. Everything seemed to be going well, but I noticed some vehicles parked near where the kids were gathering that I could tell by their decals and other indicators were not there to support the youth - they were there to harass them. A woman in a large SUV stopped, rolled down her window, and started yelling at the walkers. She completely blocked traffic (I had to find a way to go out and around her) so she could taunt and harass the kids. 

I heard stories of incidents in other areas where students were verbally and even physically harmed during their walkouts. One of our local junior high crowds had someone threaten to shoot them. They were 11-14 years old! I'm sure there was misbehavior on every side of the issue, but the thing that troubles me the most is that they were kids, and they were being harassed and threatened by adults. 

It sickens me. 

As if it were divinely planned, this week's Come Follow Me lesson talks of our role in building Zion. Zion is a term for a physical place but also a state of being. A "Zion" community would be a place where the people are of one heart and one mind and care for each other with great effectiveness. Some of the descriptions of a "Zion people" may sound like everyone needs to agree on every issue and conform to a designated system of beliefs, but that's not so. The point of Zion isn't conformity - it's to have differences and know how to love and respect each other anyway. 

"Unity does not require sameness, but it does require harmony. We can have our hearts knit together in love, be one in faith and doctrine, and still cheer for different teams, disagree on various political issues, debate about goals and the right way to achieve them, and many other such things. But we [should] never disagree or contend with anger or contempt for one another." - D. Todd Christofferson

The prophet, Enoch, and his people lived 

of one heart and of one mind

Along with Come Follow Me, our ward's lesson for Relief Society and Elder's Quorum this week is on Gary E. Stevenson's talk "Blessed are the Peacemakers" - a fascinating selection for a week filled with contention (and need we mention the Super Bowl and the discord that comes along with that? And let’s throw the Olympics in there, too).

I remember being in Sunday school when I was in my early twenties, and one of the men in our class made a comment that some of the wisest people he knows are people who know when to not say something - people who think before they speak and know when to not speak at all. What he was describing was more than Thumper's mantra, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all!" He was suggesting that we share less of our opinions and listen more than we speak.

This really struck me because, at that point in my life, I felt so compelled to share every opinion I had. How else would I be relevant? How else would people know where I stood? And mostly, how else would people know they were wrong if I didn’t correct them? That comment got in my head, and I really started paying attention to the ways I expressed myself. I started giving more thought to the things I said, but I also observed others, and I found his comment to be true. I gained wisdom in becoming more selective about things I said. 

When Jesus Christ was examined before Caiaphas prior to the crucifixion, as several people came forward to bear false witness against Him, "Jesus held his peace" (Mattew 26:63). He didn't defend himself or argue. He didn't tell his side of the story - He just remained silent.

Sometimes silence is wise, and sometimes speaking is wise. It is a gift to know the difference. 

"Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable. Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious. We should be wise in explaining and pursuing our positions and in exercising our influence." - Dallin H. Oaks

There have been many times in my life when the Spirit has cautioned me to hold my peace or to give it time. Usually it's when I'm experiencing some form of anger, and I have the urge to react. I’m actually very proud of myself for times I've held back and waited while every fiber of my being wanted to make a phone call or tell someone off (words are one of my biggest weapons). 

I remember one of the first times I successfully held my peace. Scotty and I were enforcing some discipline with Nicky at an extended family gathering when he was a toddler, and a family member overstepped her bounds and told Nicky he didn't have to do what we said. I was furious, of course, but a feeling came over me to not say anything. "Just wait." I felt like I would implode, but I held my peace against every natural urge I had. 

A few hours later, the family member called us and apologized. Without us saying anything, she realized that she had undermined us, and it had been inappropriate for her to do so. I'm not sure how things would have gone if I hadn't stayed silent, but I'm sure by holding my peace, we got the better outcome. 

Sometimes making a peace-promoting choice feels like surrender, but it actually takes a great amount of strength. It’s hard to forgive someone who will never apologize. It’s hard to let someone be wrong. It’s hard to not be listened to. Contention is an easy reaction, but the results are harmful. Peacemaking takes more strength and discipline, but brings more long-term happiness and positivity. 

I don’t always get it right. I’ve been a harborer of contention many times, but I’ve gotten better, and this week has reminded me to keep striving to be a peacemaker.