Thursday, February 23, 2017

Save me

My kids have all been big pukers from birth.

I have a friend with a child who didn't throw up until she was six! When it happened, the child was so freaked out that she started apologizing profusely and thought she was in trouble. She really didn't comprehend what was happening to her.

Then there's my sister-in-law whose daughter has grown to the age of nineteen having only puked about three times.

What the what?!?

Around my house, throw up is just routine. We don't like it, but it's just part of our lives.

In fact, our most recent trip to Disneyland (October 2016) was the first time we've been on vacation and not had a kid throw up.

What the what?!?

Anyway, Eva is currently battling a stomach bug.

It started on Tuesday.

I'd been trying to get in the shower all morning and get Eva dressed to no avail. During one attempt to put Eva's pants on, I had her sitting on my lap in the rocking chair when she suddenly heaved and blew chunks all over me, the chair, and the floor. Then it just kept coming.

I was grateful that I hadn't managed to get either of us ready.

She hadn't acted sick leading up to the vomit, and she didn't act sick afterward, so for the rest of the day, I kind of forgot that she'd thrown up.

That's one of the problems with having frequent pukers... you tend to forget puke happened. This is mostly a result of Zoe's incessant puking from having reflux. She vomited a few times a week for about six months, but since it wasn't from being "sick," we got out of the habit of recognizing throw up as a symptom of a virus.

So I forgot Eva had thrown up until the next morning when she threw up all over the bathroom. Scotty was home at the time, so we tag teamed and got Eva and the bathroom cleaned up.

Then we had to go to the church to help set up for the Blue and Gold banquet.

Again, as stupid as it is, I kind of forgot about the puke thing until Eva threw up in the church's kitchen. Luckily it didn't get anywhere near anything important, and it was easy to clean off the floor.

At that point, reality set in, and I finally recognized that my child was sick.

The problem was, Scotty was leaving on vacation 15 minutes after Eva puked, and she had kind of puked on him. We ran home so Scotty could hurry and change before his ride showed up. Then off he went.

Since Scotty left (over 36 hours ago, but who's counting?) Eva has thrown up 8 more times.

You guys...

I'm sorry to be graphic, but let's talk truth. Eva is not quite two years old. A less-than-two year old can't communicate that she is going to throw up. A less-than-two year old can't aim for a toilet or bowl.

This has resulted in the biggest mess of all messes.

I have shampooed mattresses, the living room chair, and carpet in various areas of the house. I have scrubbed cabinet doors and floors and the kitchen table. I have used every giant bowl in the house (my sink is currently full, and my dishwasher is currently running). I have dirtied piles of rags and towels. Eva has no clean clothes. I have no clean clothes.


This, hands down, has been the worst of my children's vomiting episodes.

After each incident, I've thrown anything that needs to be laundered to the bottom of the stairs. The pile is huge. It doesn't help that I brought a pile of coats and blankets in from the van this morning and left them on the kitchen floor where they later became a target.

And just to add to the fun, one of my kids peed the bed last night, so I had even more bedding to wash and another mattress to shampoo.

It's about 9:00 p.m. right now, and I'm more than ready to retire for the evening. Please send good vibes my way. I have vomit on my shoe. It's several hours old, and I haven't even bothered to wipe it off. That is indicative that I am surrendering to the vomit. It's becoming a part of me. Don't let me slip away into this world of throw up! Save me!


The day after I wrote this post, I washed, folded, and put away twelve loads of laundry. My mom also washed two loads of my laundry at her house. 


Jana Weaver said...

I'm so sorry for both you and the baby. Andrew has the weakest stomach so when he was about that age I watched for little cues as signs of throwing up. Often he would ask me to hold him just before it actually happened. I got pretty good at catching it in bags or running to a toilet or sink. I sure hope you survive, especially the smell and all the clean up. said...

Sing this song - to the tune of "Gaston"

Nothing stinks like throw up
Nothing stains like throw up
Trying to clean it, nothings worse than throw up
My kids are especially good at expector-aaaa-ttttiiiinnnggggg!

It helps fight the crazy a little...

I'm sorry - pukes are the worst - THE WORST!

BerlyCrow said...

Gotta add - Not only has my nineteen year old rarely thrown up in her life, the only children that have ever actually puked ON me, were not my own. I'll let you guess whose they were. ;) Good thing they're my favorites!

Amy Sorensen said...

I would like to hug you.

Except I really don't want your stomach-flu germs.

OH MY GOSH. We are pukers at my house, too. I hear those stories about people who don't get the stomach flu and I just...I can't even imagine.

I'm reading this kind of late so hopefully the puking has passed. For now, right. And hopefully you didn't catch it too!