Scotty’s and my marriage has been wonderful so far. We’ve recovered quickly from the bumps we’ve hit along the way, and we hit our tenth Anniversary last year. I know that’s no triumph, but 1 in 12 couples head for the divorce courts within the first 24 months, so we’ve beat at least one statistic. Unfortunately, there are somw factors in our marriage that make our chances of divorce statistically higher:
- We were both under the age of 25 when we married.
- Both of us come from divorced parents.
That certainly doesn’t mean we should run to our lawyers and sign the papers now, but it makes me more aware of potential problems in our marriage. With the American divorce rates at 50%, I understand just how susceptible we are. My hope is that awareness leads to prevention. Despite the statistics, I believe that coming from divorced parents has made Scotty and me more committed to our own marriage.
I cherish marriage and family, and therefore, my personal belief is that spouses should be committed to each other and take the steps necessary to work things out. There are obvious exceptions to the rules – abuse, infidelity, substance abuse, and the like. I understand that there are also times when one partner wants to work things out, but the other doesn’t, and that makes saving a marriage overwhelmingly difficult.
In my faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we are taught that families can be together forever, but being a Mormon doesn’t make my marriage any more likely to survive. In fact, several years ago I came across a study that showed the percentages of divorce among various faiths. It showed that 24% of LDS church members* have been divorced while only 21% of Atheists have been divorced. There are several factors that could create those stats, such as Mormons entering into marriage while Atheists may be more likely to co-habitate first, but I find it interesting that religion isn’t necessarily a key in successful marriage. I do believe that religious practices such as family prayer and religious values such as honesty contribute to a successful marriage, but those things require action and not just simply being a member of a particular faith.
I really want to have a successful marriage. I want to beat the odds. I realize every day how much work marriage requires, but I’m willing to put forth the effort.
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