Another Weekend, Another Excursion

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #35:

Journey

We enjoy doing little road trips as a family. Sometimes we have great successes. Sometimes we don't. But even when it's complete chaos, and everyone is moody and unreasonable, we still come home with great memories or at least something to laugh about when the scars have healed.

Over the weekend, we did some road trippin'. A few months ago, we reserved some camp spots at Crystal Hot Springs with some friends for the last weekend in September. As the dates got closer, the weather was starting to look a little sketchy. Our friends have trailers, but we just have a tent, so we decided to book a hotel room and spare ourselves from the rain and cold.

We went to Crystal Hot Springs on Friday afternoon and spent a few hours at the pools.

The pools are brown because of the minerals 

from the hot springs. It's trippy, I know. 

We had dinner with our friends, then went back to the pools until well after dark. We finished off our time together with s'mores, and then my family packed up and drove to our hotel in Brigham City.

On Saturday it rained pretty consistently all day. We found that the best thing to do in Northern Utah in the rain is eat. So we started at the Old Grist Mill where we got an assortment of baked goods, but Nicky wanted something savory for breakfast, so we also hit Carl's Jr. Then we drove up to Logan and stopped at Gossner's for cheese curds.

The prices on baked goodies at the Old Grist Mill are incredible.

We got 2 sweet rolls, 4 scones, 2 mint brownies,

& a pumpkin bar for about $10.

We knew we had to do something non-food related while we waited for our bodies to be capable of eating more food, so we went to the mall. We checked out the Halloween store:

These masks are hilarious!

Zoe the chicken

Then we stumbled across a hobby store that left us in absolute shock and awe:

This is not a scene from the back room. This is the

actual store as you walk through it. 

(How does this even exist? I can't even. I used to work at Valley Fair Mall, and our store would have been fined for this).

(I'll never complain about how messy Ross is again).

After we burned a couple of hours at the mall, we went to Taco Maker - the last location in the state of Utah. Scotty loved Taco Maker when he was growing up. He has fond memories of eating there while he was working on his grandpa's farm.

Then I demanded Aggie ice cream.

Because why not?

Please note that someone walked through the Aggie creamery with poop on their shoe. Poor sole. Wah wah!

(Glad it wasn't one of us... but Zoe still managed to step in it and get second-hand poo-ed).

After that we left Logan and drove back to Crystal Hot Springs to see our friends. They were cooped up in their RVs in the rain, so we watched Kyle watch the last ten minutes of Ferris Bueller.

Kyle living his best life.

On VHS.

(He narrated the whole thing).

From there we headed out to Golden Spike. We went there a few years ago, but since then, we have purchased the National Parks passports for our children, so we figured we'd stop and get their passport stamps and cancellations since we didn't get them the first time.

Daisy at Golden Spike. We took this photo to send

to her teacher for her class bulletin board about the counties.

Since Daisy is in 4th grade, we are trying to take advantage of her free National Parks pass and are planning to hit several parks before next August.

It was really cold and rainy at Promontory, but we were able to see one of the trains make the rounds, and our kids loved putting their stamps in their books.

On our way home from Golden Spike, we stopped at Smith and Edwards and bought some useless junk just for the heck of it.

We came home exhausted and still full from lunch, but that didn't stop our kids from begging for food the second we walked in the door.

We made the best of a rainy situation and had a good time on our journey.

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And thus ends the September Writing Challenge.

Unused prompts: knowledge, clean, strength, ta-da!, moment, community, collection, & everyday.

Mission Accomplished

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #14:

Accomplishment

I got my Young Women medallion today. 

How They Play

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #27:

Play

The other day I did a thorough clean-out of Nicky's room while he was at school. I'm pleased to report that his room still has all of the components I reflected on in this post. He is still enveloped in the innocence of childhood. Junior high hasn't ruined him yet! 

While I was cleaning his room, I thought about the way he currently plays and how that has evolved as he's gotten older. I thought I'd take this time to jot down some of the ways each of my kids "play" right now:

Nicky - age 12.8

-enjoys building with Legos. He will often build little contraptions like a bow and arrow or a pinball machine. Over the summer I printed some Lego challenge cards off the internet. I would hand him one, and then he would go down to his room to build something and then come show me. Here is his "something from a movie:"

Paul Blart on a Segway

-is really into trick shots, so he will set up trick shot challenges involving incessant bottle flipping or elaborate ball tossing

-loves making things out of items from the recycle bin. He's actually very clever. He has made several skee ball, air hockey, and pinball games. 

-enjoys board games and is actually pretty good at them 

-never asks to have friends over 

-likes to listen to Disney play lists while he plays

-enjoys a few video games - a little Minecraft and a little Mario - but is very good about playing in moderation (I think Zoe might be the one I have to regulate video games for)

Daisy - age 10

-does a lot of arts and crafts

-has never really been into dolls, but out of the blue, wanted a doll for her birthday 

-is more possessive of than actually interested in using her toys

-asks for friends to come over constantly and does not like to play alone

-always wants to have music from Descendants blasting while she is playing in her room

Zoe - age 6.9 & Eva - age 4

-have very similar playing habits, so I figured I'd group them together. They are my children closest in age

-ask to play with friends all the time

-like to play "store" and constantly gather up items and line them on the stairs or couch like a store display. Likewise, they will play "library" and make book displays

-drag toys all over the house

-love to play dress up and go through several costume changes in any given session

-want to decorate everything

-love stuffed animals and play with them more than any other toys

-use hair accessories for play. The stuffed animals always have scrunchies around their necks for collars and bows clipped on their ears

-are just really, really messy. They group toys together in really random ways while they play (why do you need a backpack with five pieces of play food, three Hot Wheels cars, a hairbrush, a bag of almonds, two Beanie Boos, a sheet of stickers, and seven pairs of your underwear in it to play animal doctor?)

-enjoy playing house. Especially Eva. I love when friends come over, and I hear them say, "Wanna play house?"

Tea Party

The Happy Places

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #20:

Happy Place

I thought about sharing a specific happy place for this post, but I couldn't choose just one. So I decided I would make a list of several happy places, but that list is just too darn long. Then I concluded that I wouldn't write about physical places at all because it's not really the place that makes a "happy place."

So what is it? What's the consistent factor that makes a happy place a happy place?

I didn't think I could narrow it down to one thing, but I did! I know what it is!

The happiest places offer me something to marvel at.

Something visually appealing like a sunset or a reflection on water.

Happy Place: the mountains

An interaction with a friend or an inspiring conversation with someone I just met.

Happy Place: out with friends

The presence of laughter and feelings of closeness with other people.

Happy Place: with Scotty

Something unexpected like finding a five dollar bill on the sidewalk or stumbling across a good deal at the store.

Happy Place: the milk aisle when milk is marked down

Something incomprehensible like the expanse of the ocean and the way the tide moves in and out.

Happy Place: the beach

And yes, it can be (and often is, in my case) food. 

Happy Place: Crown Burgers

For me, the happiest places are where I have experienced moments of wonder and awe. Places where I have slowed down to notice the goodness around me.

(Now admit it, you're marveling at my BLT! I think I might need to track down a "happy place" for lunch today).

All About That Food

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #9:

Mealtime

What are the last three meals you ate?

French toast, chicken chili, and pizza

What are five of your family's favorite homemade dinners?

There aren't very many meals that everyone will eat, but here are the ones I have the most success with:

1. Pioneer Woman's Mac & Cheese (with the addition of buttered panko on top with a slight broil)
2. Tacos
3. Hamburgers
4. Sweet and sour chicken
5. Lettuce wraps 

What traditions do you have centered around meals?

One is our "familyversary" dinner. Each year for our anniversary, we celebrate the day we became a family by preparing a dinner together. Everyone draws for a food assignment (appetizer, drink, main dish, side dish (2), and dessert), and then we get to pick what we want for that part of the meal. The kids love it, and we always end up with some funny food combinations.

Another is birthday dinners - we plan a night around each child's birthday dinner where they get to choose the menu. I'm rarely excited by what they pick, though. It's usually stuff like dinosaur chicken nuggets or Lunchables. I guess they don't understand that this tradition is supposed to feed my Mommy Ego, and I want them to pick something like, "Mom's chicken pot pie" or "Mom's beef stew."

A third one (for good measure) is our Game Night tradition with our friends. We have regular gatherings of dinner and board games as families (though the kids are kicked off the gaming table and expected to entertain each other).

What dish do you like that your family doesn't?

Buncha punks hatin' on Cowboy Dinner.

What time do you usually eat your meals?

7:00, 11:30. 5:00

What was your most recent meal eaten out?

On Friday night I went to Leatherby's with my friends and had a BLT with a dill pickle spear, cheese fries (with fry sauce, thankyouverymuch), and a small scoop of cookies n' cream ice cream. It was heavenly.

And for extra credit... the night before that, I went to a spouses dinner at a work retreat with Scotty, and I had an 8 oz filet mignon that I never wanted to end.

Are you a picky eater?

I'd like to think I'm not, but I'm sure I have some preferences that make me seem picky - like my aversion to nutmeg and quinoa, my disinterest in Mexican and Italian cuisines, and my constant commentary on taco soup being the armpit of the pantry.

I accuse everyone else of being picky eaters, though.

About My Grandma

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #33: 

Bittersweet

One year ago today, in the early hours of the morning, my grandma passed away. Just a few days prior, I stopped at her house unannounced to give her a copy of the new Saints book. I caught her unawares, and. I could tell something was a bit off. It was late in the day, and she was in her pajamas and acting a little disoriented. What I didn't know was that her body was full of infection. A few days later she was hospitalized, and she was gone the next day. 

My grandma at Daisy's blessing

My family asked me to speak at her funeral, and since then, I've wanted to do a write up of my talk for my own family history. Here is my talk from my grandma's funeral.

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For almost 30 years, I lived within walking distance of my grandma's house. It was always a blessing to be so close.

I think everyone in my family got to know different parts of Grandma, so the things that stand out to me might not be the same things that stand out to others, but there's one thing I think we'd all agree on, and that is that our grandma loved us. Like, really, really loved us. She was each of our biggest fans. I can say with full honesty that no one thinks I'm as cool as my grandma thought I was! And by the way she spoke of each of her grandchildren, I know that she felt the same way about all of us. She was so proud of us!

My grandma also loved her children and their spouses. She always spoke kindly of each of her daughters-in-law and her son-in-law.

She also dearly loved my grandpa.

When I was a teenager, my grandma told me that she and my grandpa decided young that they would stay together no matter what - that whatever happened, they would work it out.

I wondered, Is it that easy? Can you just decide that and have it work? I don't know all the hardships they faced in their marriage, but they both held fast to that commitment, and now that I'm married, I know that's a decision that needs to be reinforced daily. I know that my grandparents experienced a lot of adversity during their lives together, and there were many times when my grandpa's health problems might have worn my grandma out, but she stood by his side.

Several years ago I took my grandma to a physical therapy appointment, and while we were driving, she was talking about how she had to care for my grandpa through various medical problems throughout their marriage. I remember her saying, "I never resented it. I just loved him." I admired her so much for that.

It was hard for her to lose my grandpa a decade ago. She often expressed how much she missed him, and she always wondered what he was going on the other side of the veil. My grandma was very prayerful, and she diligently studied the scriptures and attended the temple as her health allowed. I know that maintaining these practices brought her a lot of peace as she continued through life without her companion. She told me that she received confirmations that Grandpa was well and quite busy.

My grandma was a patient woman. I don't know if she was always this way or if she became this way through life's experiences, but she was a calming presence in my life.

When I was a child, there was a day I played outside at my grandma's house and got my shoes wet. My grandma told me to put them downstairs by the fireplace to dry. Instead I put my shoes on the fireplace. A few minutes later, my grandma started sniffing the air. Then she ran downstairs in a panic. A short time later, she came walking up the stairs carrying my melted shoes. Knowing my grandma's meticulous cleaning standards and intolerance for unpleasant smells, I thought she was really mad at me.

She wasn't.

But she gave me a very thorough lesson on all the reasons not to put shoes (or anything else) on the fireplace.

One of the iconic features of my grandma and grandpa's house was the tire swing in their backyard.

Zoe in the tire swing

One day I was spinning in the tire swing, and my grandma told me I better stop spinning so I wouldn't get sick. Knowing I was invincible, I ignored her. A short time later, at dinner, I suddenly didn't feel well. I ended up throwing up in my grandma's Jell-O.

She didn't scold me or say, "I told you so!" Instead, she just went to work doing what needed to be done to clean up and take care of a sick child.

Last summer my kids took their bikes to my grandma's house so they could ride around the driveway while my husband mowed the lawn. The next week my grandma told me she had something to tell me, but she didn't want me to get mad. She then informed me that at some point, my kids had taken their bikes inside her house and ridden around in her family room. She knew this because they'd left tire tracks in the carpet. I was mortified to think of my grandma going downstairs and finding this scene! This is a woman who raked her carpets in between vacuuming so there would always be pretty lines!

She wasn't mad, and she told me I wasn't allowed to say anything to my kids about it.

My girls on my grandma's deck

My grandma's back yard was amazing

My grandma was observant. She always noticed little things - sometimes things people wouldn't want her to notice. She was very aware of other people simply through being watchful.

One time I fell asleep in the tire swing, and my grandma used clothespins to hang a dishcloth to shade my eyes while I slept.

Another time, she noticed I was wearing slippers (I had plantar fasciitis), and she was very worried about me because she knew that meant my feet hurt.

A few weeks before she passed away, she sent me home with a book to read on a topic that I really needed to study but wasn't humble enough to address. I can only guess, much to my dismay, that she was watching me closely enough to know what I was struggling with.

My grandma exhibited a lot of the Savior's traits. She emanated love, she was patient, and she was quick to observe. One more characteristic that my grandma had was that she was a creator.

My grandma loved to create. She enjoyed making things across various mediums - from wood, to fabric, to paper - even grape vines, which she took from her back yard and formed into wreaths. She liked to take things that already existed and embellish them or paint them to make them into something new and different.

My grandma taught me how to use a glue gun (and treated my resulting burns). She also taught me about important things like acid-free scrapbooking products.

When I was a child, she made each granddaughter a wooden doll for her bedroom This was a time when my grandma was creative and patient and observant because I didn't like the color she picked out for my doll, and I threw a big fit and hid in the corner of the basement to cry about it.

Once again, she didn't scold me or call me ungrateful. She was watching me closely enough to know that I was going through some hard things, so she gave me some time to have my tantrum, and then she lovingly asked me what color or doll I would like. The truth was, my parents had just gotten a divorce, and all I could see was that my cousins were getting dolls that matched their bedrooms, and I had two bedrooms at two different houses, and I didn't know where I belonged or what color my doll was supposed to be. It wasn't about the doll. It was about not knowing where I belonged. I didn't know this, but my grandma did.

One of my favorite creations of my grandma's was her train-themed Christmas tree. My grandpa worked for Union Pacific, so our family always had a lot of train memorabilia. My grandma made train ornaments and took pictures of each grandchild wearing a conductor's hat. Then she put our photos in the windows of wooden trains and hung them on the tree.

A few years ago, she decided she needed to put her Christmas tree in a galvanized bucket - this was something she'd seen on TV. She was always excited to try new decorative things. It ended up being more complicated than she thought, so she had to call one of my uncles to help her get the tree straight. A crooked Christmas tree was never to be tolerated!

Some years she would call me over to help decorate her tree. It was the most terrifying responsibility I've ever been given (and I'm sure she moved everything after I left).

My grandma was really good at beautifying spaces through decorating, organizing, and cleaning. She did this in her home, in her yard, and in life in general. While she created many tangible and beautiful things, her creations weren't just crafts and home decor. She created a family, she created a home, she created an environment of love, and she created a legacy that will carry on for generations.

Very shortly before her passing, my grandma told me how creativity helped her heal during emotional times. She told me that during bouts of depression, one of the best things she could do for herself was create something. She encouraged me to do the same.

These thoughts from Elder Uchtdorf remind me of my grandma:

The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul... Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matted into our hands and mold it into something of beauty... 

The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet or paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before - colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter... 

The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. 

I love the idea of my grandma carrying this trait with her into the life to come. I'll always remember my grandma, Lois, as a loving, patient, observant creator... and my biggest fan.

My grandma at Eva's blessing

(this is the photo that was used for her obituary)

As Blessed as I Believe Myself to Be

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #4:

Blessed

I've been avoiding this prompt.

Why did I choose to add "blessed" to the list? I dunno. I guess I thought it would be easy to come up with a post inspired by "blessed," but I was wrong. It's not easy. "Blessed" is complicated. I know that I am very blessed, but here's the thing:

I am as blessed as I believe myself to be. 

The dictionary definitions of "blessed" don't ring quite true to what I believe it means to be blessed. Most of the definitions are along the lines of having good fortune. I don't like those definitions because they allude to some kind of dumb luck.

Being blessed is so much more than that. I believe in God, and therefore; I believe that blessings are intentional and have purpose. Sometimes we have to earn them. Sometimes they are granted freely because they are what's best for us. Sometimes they aren't recognizable until we've walked through sorrow. Sometimes they aren't what we want initially, but over time, we begin to see them for what they really are.

(cue "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks)

Blessings come in so many different ways, but to truly be "blessed" is not simply to have good fortune. It's to be given something and then to acknowledge it with gratitude.

I am as blessed as I believe myself to be.

Brain Dump

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #30:

Brain Dump

I've hit the point where the writing challenge has almost caught up to me. I've stayed a few days ahead with posts, but as of the moment I am typing this, I only have one more draft scheduled. This might be when the writer's block sets in (...again. I started off with some writer's block, but then I found my flow for a while).

Here are some random things that have piled up in my brain over the past few weeks.

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Three weeks ago (with my doctor's supervision) I went off my high blood pressure medication. I had to change prescriptions since my meds were making me cough (took me nine months to figure out it), so I asked if I could try going off medication altogether before starting a new one. We gave it a shot... a five-day shot, to be precise. Yeah... I have high blood pressure still. So I'm back on meds. I'm going to try to be off them by the end of the year. That means I have to find better ways to take care of myself. That's some hard stuff.

I also weaned off my anti-depressants. Because why not be drug free for a minute? I've been okay so far. I'm actually doing really well, and I'm very high-functioning right now. Why can't I just be like this always? I feel like this is who I really am. Why must it ebb and flow? It's really sad to feel as great as I do with the constant worry that I'm going to hit my wall any minute. I feel like there's a cloud chasing me, and it will eventually get me. Again, why can't I just be like this always?

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One interesting thing about my use of anti-depressants is that I have always gone on them when I've had a three-year-old (the only exception being right after I had Nicky when I had terrible post-partum depression. That was the first time I was ever treated for depression).

All of my kids have been really difficult three-year-olds. Is it just a coincidence, or is that what pushed me over the edge four out of five times? I dunno. But I'm not anticipating having any more three-year-olds. Maybe the new age will be 15, and I'll get to start a whole new regimen. I'll let you know.

But maybe I'll be a little better off now than I was during the toddler years. Maybe I don't have to keep worrying about it. Maybe I'm in a season of life that will be better for me.

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With Nicky starting junior high and Eva being in preschool 4 days a week, I feel like our lives have entered a new phase. It's been really good so far. I mean, junior high has the potential to be just plain awful, but Nicky is doing okay (save for one incident that broke my mama heart).

This week Nicky was one of four students chosen to represent the school in a golf tournament. He played on a team with his principal and her boss. This is so cool, especially for a kid who has stayed under the radar and been overlooked for most of his life.

When Nicky started school this year, I wondered if it might be time for a cell phone, but I thought we could go a little longer without him having one. Then within the first two weeks of school there were at least 8 incidents where a cell phone would have been a real life-saver. I ended up ordering a phone for Nicky from Gabb Wireless. Gabb phones have a touch screen that can call and text, but they have no internet access, no apps, and they can't send or receive photos.

It's been wonderful!

But Nicky is the type of kid who doesn't care about having a cell phone. He didn't want one. I have to make him take his phone places.

(That won't be the case when Daisy needs one. Oh how I dread the day!)

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Speaking of Nicky...

He's kind of like an old man. His knees creak when he walks and up and down the stairs, and he likes to wake up early to watch the news (the news thing is really a big change for Nicky because up until this year, we have always had to shield him from the news because it would give him such bad anxiety). He also gripes a lot about "people these days."

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Lately I've been wondering if I'm a weird. I mean, I know I'm weird (aren't we all?), but I've been wondering if I'm weird weird. Like maybe people walk away from me after an interaction, and they think, "Holy crap! She's weird." This is leading me to all sorts of paranoid thoughts about people not liking me. Maybe I'm not likable! Maybe people just tolerate me. Oh my gosh, what if I'm not fun? I'm probably not fun because I don't like to go up high. Can I stay on the ground and still be considered fun?

Oh, hello, Insecurity! Way to take over my blog post. Ya jerk.

It probably doesn't help that I don't know how to talk to people, and I end up saying really weird things like, "I enjoy the sensation of my nostrils being stretched."

(OHMYGOSH, am I doing it? Am I being weird?)

Moving on...

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But on a slightly related note...

I've been trying to be better about talking to people lately. "Friendly conversation" is not something I'd consider a strength of mine. I'm more of a "wave hello and move on" type of person. There are exceptions, of course, but for the most part, I don't really stop and talk to people unless they initiate it. I just assume everyone is busy and trying to get on with their days, and they probably don't have time to chat. Plus there's that nostril thing I was talking about...

But I really love connecting with people, and I think we can all use some human interaction, so I guess I need to do my part to make it happen.

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Here are ten things I'm a firm believer in:

1. Twenty-minute naps
2. Pockets in active wear 
3. Dancing in the kitchen (or anywhere, really)
4. Driveway recliners
5. Dips and sauces
6. Vans
7. Temperatures in the 55-65 degree range
8. Never skipping breakfast
9. Journaling
10. Getting up early 

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As you know, I love cooler temps (see #7 above), but I have to acknowledge that my aging body starts to get achey when it gets lower than 55 degrees. I go walking with some friends three mornings a week, and on Wedneday, it was 51 when we walked, and my legs an hips could sure feel it. It took a few hours to get them warmed up and comfortable again.

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And now I'm off for the day. If you made it this far, thank you for enduring my thoughts. 

Meee Yow!

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #34:

Something New

Last week was Daisy's tenth birthday. How is she ten?? I can't even.

I decided to try something new and take her to Tinkers Cat Cafe for her birthday. Scotty is allergic to cats, so he stayed home and did boring things like watch baseball. But my mom and my other kids joined us.

Scotty made me promise to not adopt a cat while I was there.

But...

I'm pretty sure I need Fennec in my life.

He loved me! He really loved me!

But as he snuggled up to me, I would repeat "Cat hair and kitty litter! Cat hair and kitty litter!" to remind myself that I don't want a cat.

So let's talk about the fact that cat cafes exist.

It's kind of weird, right?

You can go to a cafe and order a drink and a pastry and then go sit in a room full of cats. I opted to not have any food and drinks there, though they had some Italian cream sodas and a few baked goods that looked yummy. It does smell like cats there, though, so the appetite is easily suppressed.

At the cafe, you can reserve a time to hang out in the cat lounge. We went during children's hour which is Thursdays from 5:00-6:00. I had to make our reservations online a few days prior. It was $6 per person (the normal price is $8 per person per hour).

There were 15 cats, and they are allowed to go in and out of the lounge, as desired. The room has chairs, cat toys, books, brushes, etc. You are allowed to pet the cats, but you can't pick them up. I was lucky to have Fennec climb willingly on my lap so I could have ultimate kitty bonding time. 

My kids absolutely loved it, and the girl who hosted us in the lounge did a great job keeping the kids busy. They played with the cats, of course, but they also drew pictures and played games. They got to feed the cats some treats and brush them. 

It was fun little outing and prrrfect for Daisy's birthday!

The Boss of Me

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #8:

Routine

Lately, I've been working on implementing a new routine. As part of the uncommitted hour, I try to make a plan for my day. I know this is a responsible and highly recommended practice, but I've always been a little aversed to it. I struggle with feeling guilty over how I use my time, though, so I decided I need to be a better steward, especially since I have the luxury of a few hours to myself most days with Eva in preschool. I want to use that time effectively and wisely.

This isn't my first attempt at planning my days, but this time, I feel like it's more successful because my kids are older. All of my other attempts were thwarted by teething babies and tantruming toddlers. Trying to make and keep a schedule during those phases of life was just discouraging, which is probably how I developed my aversion to schedules in the first place.

Now I have a lot more control.

For the past couple of weeks, I've taken the time each morning (or the night before) to write down everywhere I need to be and when. Then I write down:

• Things I have to do (appointments, fulfilling commitments to others, errands, etc)
• Things I should do (exercise, one-on-one time with Eva, cleaning, service, personal study, etc)
• Things that would be nice to do (reading, blogging, napping, etc)

I look at where my time windows are, and I fill them in accordingly. I only schedule the time my kids are at school. I don't worry about the evenings - they take on their own scheduling.

As I plan, I take into consideration which tasks can be completed while Eva is home, and which ones would be best to tackle while she's at school. This has made it so much easier to fit everything in. Then, throughout the day, I don't get distracted by tasks that aren't priorities, and I don't procrastinate as much. 

When I outline my day, I identify where I can allow flexibility. For example, last week I wanted to get to the temple, so I scheduled a time for the temple. But I also had a friend who was going through something difficult, and I wanted to be available to her if she needed support. So as I scheduled the temple, I made the decision that if my friend needed me, I would give that time to her instead (I made it to the temple).

Me pretending to be organized

I realize I haven't stumbled onto anything new here. But I'm excited about it because I feel like I'm finally in a season of life where I can function in this way. Also, I found a planning method that works for me. I've participated in some organization and time management classes in the past, and I've never felt like I found a system that suited my needs or my personality.

The primary reason this is working for me is because I've done a good job sticking to my plans each day, and I haven't rebelled. Any minute now this new routine could go down the drain. All it takes is a sick child, a bout of depression, or a spontaneous idea to derail my success! But for now, I'm thriving on having a plan, and I'm trying really hard to let my daily schedules be the boss of me. I feel happy about what I've accomplished since I started this routine. I really hope I can keep it up!

The Woes of Scotty’s Clothes

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #21:

What the?!?

The dress code for Scotty's work is slacks and a button-up shirt with a tie. Church clothes, essentially. 

It's been interesting with Scotty riding a motorcycle to work because he keeps running into a little problem...

(Oh! Do you know that Scotty has a motorcycle? I'm not sure if this is something I've ever mentioned). 

But anyway, the problem...

He keeps splitting his pants while getting on the motorcycle. 

The first time it happened, he was on his way from work to an off-site meeting with a business associate. He tied a suit coat around his waist and went into a couple of stores on his way to the meeting to try and find some cheap replacement pants. He had no luck, so he decided to just keep the suit coat around his waist and begin the meeting by confessing that he'd split his pants on the way there. 

After the second time he split his pants (second time in a month to be precise), Scotty started using a more delicate approach to boarding his motorcycle. He claims he's now a professional at not-splitting his slacks. It's only been a week. We'll see... 

Those aren't the only pants casualties Scotty has suffered at work. Scotty's building has an amazing cafeteria that serves breakfast and lunch. One day he snuck down there for breakfast and ended up with bacon grease spattered on his crotch. This was at the very beginning of the day, and due to the location of the spill, he decided it would be best to go buy new pants. 

(Those "new" pants are pictured above with a giant hole in the butt). 

Scotty's pants aren't his only wardrobe problem. His work shirts suffer greatly from one problem in particular:

Scotty donates plasma to bring in a little extra money for our family, and every now and then, his bandages fail him.

Is there a lesson to be learned here?

Yes, I think there is.

Spare clothes in the desk drawer!

Thoughts on Self-Worth

September Writing Challenge - Prompts #10 & 15:

Self-Worth & Letter

For most of this year, I've worked on earning my Personal Progress. Earlier this week I went in for my interview with the bishop to complete the process. I had the opportunity to tell him about the things I did for my value experiences and projects. I also shared with him some of my testimony of Jesus Christ.

One of the last requirements for Personal Progress is to write your testimony.

In my written testimony (and in talking to the bishop), I shared some of the things I've done to develop a closer relationship with Jesus Christ (I won't elaborate here, but I have always struggled to have a relationship with the Savior). I talked about two of the things I wrote about in this post. One being that I looked very closely at all of the art of Christ and identified some of the images that most closely resemble how I imagine the Savior to be.* The other being that I wrote a letter to myself  as if it were from the Savior.

Those things helped me grow closer to Christ, but I want to talk about the letter.

The letter wasn't easy. In fact, I didn't like doing it at all, but in hindsight, I can see how important it was for me. It was hard to write because in order to imagine a letter from the Savior, I had to be willing to see myself the way the Savior sees me. I've often been encouraged to see other people as the Savior sees them (or as God sees them), but until I wrote my letter, I hadn't thought a lot about seeing myself that way.

To look upon myself, knowing all of my flaws and shortcomings and being privy to all of my tantrums and selfishness, and to do so with compassion, love, and forgiveness is quite hard. But in doing it, I gained an entirely new sense of my self-worth.

When I was finishing my degree and working on my practicum, I read a study on a topic referred to as "perceived mattering." Perceived mattering is genuinely feeling like you make a difference - that you matter. Perceived mattering is an essential predictor of psychological well-being, and the key is the perceiving.You have to feel it. It's one thing to be told that you matter. It's an entirely different thing to actually perceive it. To feel it.

Sometimes I can perceive my worth. Sometimes I can't. Ya'll know I struggle with depression, and one of the worst things about depression is that it attacks your sense of self-worth. It seems so dirty, but there has been a lot of growth in the struggle.

When I truly look at myself through the eyes of the Savior, I can't not see my worth. I have to fight pretty hard to keep that perspective, but I can perceive that I matter.

------------------------------

*If you are wondering, there are two pictures that I am drawn to the most, and both of them are pictures of Christ with children. This is one of them:

There's just something in His face and body language as He interacts with these children that depicts what I need the Savior to be. I need the Savior to be one who gets down on his knees to meet me where I am. 

And I need the Savior to look at me like this:

With pure love and understanding.

I also have to acknowledge the way the young girl is holding the Savior's arm. It's a grasp of stability. She is little, and she probably doesn't understand why she's holding him that way, but I do! He is keeping her steady. 

What We Built

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #13:

Project

Early in the summer, our TV was on the fritz. I kept my eye out for good deals, and I ended up buying a new TV from Best Buy. It was bigger than our fritzed TV (which was 36"), so we needed to figure out what to put it on. Our previous "TV stand" was actually a really old computer armoire that was slowly falling apart.

In our minds, the set up is "temporary" because we plan on finishing our basement and moving the TV downstairs when we finally have a family room. But the thing is... the computer armoire was our "temporary" fix for the "finishing our basement" story, and it ended up hosting our TV for three years. When will we finish the basement? Maybe next month. Or maybe six years from now. I like to keep things suspenseful!

So even though our TV set-up is "temporary," we don't know how long "temporary" is going to be.

I had plans to find an old dresser from the thrift store to paint and put the TV on. You know, something cheap but cute. That way it wouldn't be a big financial investment, but hopefully it also wouldn't be ugly.

I checked out a few thrift stores, and then I realized that we have a backyard full of wood, and we could just build what we want!

So Scotty and I worked together to design and build a TV console for our new TV. It was a labor of love and afforded us many date nights in the back yard.

I've held back from writing about it on the blog because it doesn't photograph well. How vain is that? But really, it doesn't look great in photos because it's right across from a window, and there's no angle that really captures the amazing job that Scotty did putting it together (this angle was the best I could do to not get a horrendous glare).  We're pretty happy with how it turned out. It cost us about $60 to make.  

The Uncommitted Hour

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #1:

Morning

Ah, morning!

I love mornings, especially this time of year. I enjoy the cool, crisp air, and I like that it's a little darker. I won't like it as much in the next few months when it stays dark a little too long, but right now it's perfect. When the mornings are darkish, it makes me feel like anything I do before sunrise is extra credit. I like that feeling! It gives me the illusion that I'm ahead of the game.

With school starting back up, we've had to figure out our mornings. Nicky started junior high, and thus, ushered in a new phase of life for us. Now that we've gotten into our groove, I've found something I really enjoy about our new morning schedule. I call it the "uncommitted hour."

Nicky leaves for school at 6:45 and then I really don't have to start getting my girls ready until 7:30. Of course, they are usually awake long before then, so I've been letting them watch PBS until 7:30. This gives me 45 minutes of time between Nicky leaving and the girls needing attention. Hence... the "uncommitted hour" (which is technically not an hour, but the "uncommitted 45 minutes" just doesn't sound as cool).

I've been using this time for ME, and it's been wonderful. I might sit down to plan my day (more to come on that subject as I tackle prompt #8: routine), read my scriptures, get dressed, eat breakfast, or even stare at a wall. Sometimes I exercise. Sometimes I nap. Yes! Nap! I have laid down on the couch and napped from 7:00-7:30. I've gone for walks, loaded the dishwasher, showered, and even made grocery store runs. I also frequently end up at Chick-Fil-A for free breakfast!

The beauty about the uncommitted hour is that it is truly uncommitted. I don't approach it with expectations or to do lists. I leave that time open to tackle the "whatever," and if I happen to do something productive, it increases that "ahead of the game" feeling as I go into my day.

I'm almost hesitant to hit publish because I don't want to jinx my beautiful mornings. A month from now I could be in a completely different pattern. For now, I will live it up during the uncommitted hour!

(And if you've been wondering how I have time to post everyday for the September Writing Challenge - this is how! It's the uncommitted hour! I've stayed about five days ahead, so you're reading something I wrote days ago. Ah, I love being ahead of the game!)

The Decor I Adore

September Writing Challenge - Prompt # 11:

Decor

A while ago, someone left a comment on my blog pointing out that I never post pictures of my house anymore. I hadn't noticed this, but now that it's been brought to my attention, I realize it's true! I rarely post any photos from my home. I don't have an explanation as to why this is... other than we started some remodeling projects several years ago, and everything has been in disarray since, so I'm not as apt to take and post photos anymore.

Side note: A long time ago, I did a home tour on my blog. I just went back and looked at those posts and saw how much my house has changed in the last decade. Here is my family room (which no longer exists - we made it into a bedroom and storage room), here is my kitchen which now looks like this, here is my living room (watch for Old Stinky), and here is my bedroom.

Since we're talking "decor" today, I'll throw in a few home photos. I really love decorating. I'm not going to claim to be good at it (heaven knows I've tried some really weird things during my time as a homeowner), but I enjoy experimenting and moving things around. My version of "cleaning" is actually "rearranging home decor." So nothing ever really gets clean around here, but stuff gets moved. I make lots and lots of holes in my walls because I'm always swapping things out (I've tried using Command products. They just don't cut it).

One of my favorite decor items is wreaths. I'm a sucker for wreaths! In fact, on the very day I'm writing this, I walked away from this beauty:

Because I already have two white wreaths. But I came *this close* to have three.

This is my oldest wreath and one of the first things I bought when we moved into our house 15 years ago:

It's very "stick"-y, and it's actually been falling apart for several years and is kind of lop-sided, but I love it so much, I just keep making it work.

This is my newest wreath:

I bought it from Ross last week. I'd been eyeing this one from Sam's Club for a while:

So I was really excited when I found the one at Ross because it looks very similar but was $13 cheaper. 

The window frame is another one of my longest-lasting pieces of decor (the stick-y wreath spent many years hung on the window frame, but a few years ago, I moved the window frame from the living room to the kitchen, and the stick-y wreath kept stabbing guests in the head while they ate dinner, so Stick-y Wreath isn't allowed in the kitchen). I bought the window frame from a yard sale for $1 before I even had kids, and it's been a staple in my house ever since (I recently tested it for lead. Let's just say... licking and/or inhaling the window frame is strongly discouraged). 

In addition to the interior, I also love having a seasonal wreath on the front door. 

I have wooden door hangers for a few holidays, but my preference is always a wreath. Oh how I adore a good wreath!

For a typical member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have surprisingly little religious decor in my house (if you looked at my past home tour, you would see that this hasn't always been the case). 

Currently, this is the only religious decor (or it was until last week... keep reading):

I made that temple myself. I was looking for something to represent the temple in my home, but I couldn't find anything in the size, color, or style I wanted. I stumbled across a similar picture on Pinterest, and decided to try making something like it. I cut the temple silhouette by hand with a stencil cutter. That was an exciting new adventure (I also did a Jordan River one). I wrapped some canvases in... well... canvas, but the kind that has more of a burlap look, and slapped on some paint. I really like how it turned out (but I just don't want anyone to look too close because stenciling doesn't always result in good clean lines). 

When I shop for home decor, I tend to be drawn to items that correlate with what I'm going through at the time - things that represent my current learning or feelings. Last week I found this sign at Ross (making this my second piece of religious decor):

I had to have it because this has been a big theme in my life lately - faith over fear (as briefly explained in this post). I don't know where I'm going to hang it. It's just floating around the house for now. 

When Scotty travels, I tend to use decorating as a coping mechanism. He knows that when he comes home, there's a pretty good chance our room will have new bedding or the bathroom will be an entirely different color. Last time he was gone, I bought this sign:

It spoke to my soul because Scotty's most recent trip was his last one for the year, and now he gets to be home for a while. 

This week I've been really excited about getting my fall decor out. I used to go hog wild with fall and Christmas decorations, but now I've adopted a "less is more" approach. I've stuck to the things you see in this post and a wooden pumpkin garland over my living room window. When I did KonMari earlier this year, I reduced my holiday decor to one bin for fall, one bin for Christmas, and one bin with all the other holidays combined. Okay, so mayyybeee the wreaths aren't included in that since most of them don't fit in my bins. I haven't yet learned how to hold back on wreaths. They spark joy, I swear!