I've been scouring the internet for solutions, and I can tell you everything about potato bugs now - from the regional names they go by (pill bugs, rolly pollies, slaters, Tom, Dick, and Harry...) to their individual family trees!
On the internet, people argue that pill bugs don't eat plants. They are wrong. Those of us who know will fight to the death to defend this truth. They have burrowed into my cantaloupe! Chewed their way through my leaves! And nibbled my stems!
Rascals!
Every last one of them!
I thought they were supposed to be harmless. They are not!
I've lost several plants this season to potato bugs, and I've started fighting back!
With potatoes!
One solution offered on the internet is to put potatoes around your garden. The bugs will climb on the potatoes to eat them, and then you can throw them out!
(Aside: I thought my chickens would love to eat potato bugs, so I set them lose in the garden several times. They won't touch them!)
The other day I sliced up some potatoes we had that were starting to go bad, and I placed them around the garden. Guess what! It worked! The bugs climbed on the potatoes, and I was able to relocate them to the garbage can where they can eat all the gross stuff and go live a happy life at the dump where they can eat even more gross stuff!
I don't know if this will solve the problem long-term, but it's a start! I'm going to see if I can distract them with potatoes well enough to lower their population in my garden. I might also throw in a few beer traps - but I don't have beer sitting around my house like I do potatoes.
The funny thing is that I'm using store-bought POTATOES to place around my home-grown POTATOES to protect them from POTATO bugs.
Rascals!
This has become my life's work, and I will spend more money on potatoes to protect my potatoes than I would to just buy potatoes instead of grow them. Tis the way of the garden.
*The word I use in person is actually worse than "rascals," but I'm keeping it G-rated here
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