Sunday Sentiments - Hell Shakers

As women and mothers, we are so prone to feelings of inadequacy. We compare ourselves to others, and we tend to be really hard on ourselves. It's so easy to feel like we aren't good enough, strong enough, or capable enough, especially when the standards we set for ourselves are so high. Young mothers tend to fear that they're doing everything wrong. Older mothers tend to look back and wonder if they should have done things differently.

Several years ago I was having a Bad Mom day. I couldn't figure out how I would ever succeed at raising my children. It seemed like no matter how much I was doing, it wasn't enough. There were so many things I was overlooking in raising my kids. Too much was falling through the cracks - How was I supposed to raise them to be good humans?

And potty train them?

And teach them to have work ethic and how to do their taxes? 

And help them get into college?

And validate their feelings?

 

And promote their mental, physical, and spiritual health?

And, along with everything else, get them to wear stinkin' sunscreen?

As I sat on the couch in my vulnerability, a scripture from the Book of Mormon came to mind:

"...If all men had been, and were, and ever would be like unto Moroni, behold the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17)

Then the Spirit posed a question: If all mothers were like unto you, how would that be?

And my immediate response was Are you kidding me?!? That would be horrible!!

And this is mean! 

But then I realized that I take pretty good care of my kids. I keep them fed and clothed. I tell them I love them. I don't abuse them. I do everything I can to watch out for their well-being, to show them my love and support, and to identify their unspoken needs. I make a lot of mistakes, and I'm nowhere near perfect, but if I were the worst-case scenario - meaning that all other mothers were the same or better than me - this world might be a pretty decent place. 

Does that shake the very powers of hell? Actually, yes, it does. With or without sunscreen.

So now I try to not be so hard on myself, and I've had some years to practice. I still face Mom Guilt sometimes - I don't think that's something I can completely eradicate - but I try to acknowledge the things I do well and give myself some grace. Motherhood is an imperfect work and often feels like a weird experiment, but there are a million ways to get it right.