The Musical

In looking at the remaining prompts in the gratitude series I was doing, I decided to quit because they’re dumb.

So that was fun.

Perhaps today I’m grateful for the right to give up. 

Instead… here are a few things I’ve been doing lately…

Painting props for the musical

Watching the musical

Selling tickets for the musical

Doing concessions for the musical

Watching the musical

Sneaking hot dogs into the musical

Prepping gifts for the musical

And watching the musical

One more performance to go, and then we are all looking forward to Thanksgiving break (can you believe I’m saying this? If you know me at all, you should be shocked that I’m looking forward to five days off school).

Gratitude #5

 

Something I’m grateful for in nature is…

sunrises and sunsets. 

As an early bird, I get to see a lot of sunrises - especially when I’m driving my kids to school. 

Two things I love about sunrises (besides the obvious fact that they are beautiful):

1. They happen so fast that if you don’t pay attention, you can easily miss the best parts. This makes me feel so grateful when I catch a sunrise. I always have a“Wow! I almost missed it!” mentality. 

2. When the sun rays shine through the clouds over the east mountains. This always makes me so happy! Seeing those distinct lines of sunshine breaking through the haze always feels like a treat. 

And then, if you’re lucky, you get to see the sun set, too. A second chance! And a lovely, “Goodnight! You can try again tomorrow!” 

I call this one “Sunrise Over McDonald’s.”

—————

Last time I did this prompt, I wrote about nature as evidence that there is a Creator.

Gratitude #4

I’m thankful for humor shared with friends. “Inside jokes” isn’t quite the right term for what I’m thinking of because inside jokes are things only you and the other person understand (but I love me a good inside joke!) I’m thinking more along the lines of enjoying the same style of humor as another person in a way that you can share something with them knowing they will find it as funny as you do. 

Yesterday I saw something on instagram that made me snort, and I knew exactly who I needed to send it to. 

I love to laugh, and I love having people to laugh with. I also love making people laugh. If I had to choose between people labeling me pretty or funny, I would choose funny. 

Fortunately I’m both, so watch out, World!

—————

A few things I’ve laughed at lately:

Shared with Nicky 

I was at Walmart a couple of weeks ago, and I thought this was a person riding in an electric cart

Cheese is always funny. Shared with Laurel.

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me!

(Also very relevant to my current state)

Immature but necessary.

Sometimes it smelled like country apple instead.

Shared with Daisy

Some of the Santa prints at my work 

—————

Last time I did this prompt, I critiqued the grammar (didn’t notice it this time and had to figure out what I meant (redundant use of “for”)) and wrote about how thankful I am that Scotty is funny. 

Busy and Sad

This has been a strange November. If I had to describe my state of existence this month, I would say that I am busy and sad. 

November is always busy for us, so that's just the norm. But I'm not usually sad in November. In fact, I usually have a big rush of weird energy that hits this time of year, and I function at a higher level. This year, I expected the rush of energy and was kind of planning on it, and that's probably partially why it didn't come and why I'm sad instead (I believe in jinxes). Don't worry about my sadness, though. It's not the kind of sadness other people need to be concerned about. Let me explain it a bit...

First, let's factor in fatigue. Like I said, I didn't get the hit of energy I was hoping for this month. aside from The Jinx, I think this is in part because Scotty went to Asia for two weeks in October and came back sick. So not only was I trying to recover from having my husband gone for a chunk of time - he came back with jet lag and decreased functioning and stayed that way for weeks. 

About every three years, Scotty experiences a bout of cluster headaches that last 3-4 weeks. His clusters started a few weeks before he left for Asia and have continued since getting home, so he's going on 7-8 weeks of debilitating headaches every day. On top of that, he developed stomach issues while traveling, which took a while to clear up. I was on the brink of forcing him to get tested for a parasite, and then it finally started tapering off. So it's been a bummer having him not feeling well, and that's had me a little more overwhelmed and tired than usual. 

Feeling tired makes me more likely to feel sad. But I'm also sad because there are some things I tried to do last week that didn't work out and left me feeling defeated. I sacrificed time and resources and was met with failure. Last Wednesday I had a series of things go wrong, and around mid-day, I decided to just be done and not try to do anything else. I went home, curled up in a blanket, and slept for two hours. It was the right choice. I needed the sleep, and I needed to slow down.

I've also had my feelings hurt a couple of times this week because I'm a delicate, little flower. Confession: my feelings get hurt easily. It’s embarrassing.

So I’m feeling a little down. But not all the time. Just a little more than average for me. So like I said, you don’t need to be concerned. I’m just acknowledging it as something I’m experiencing lately.

One other thing that’s been kind of sad this month is that my sister-in-law, Amber, and I used to text each other what we were thankful for every day in November. I haven’t experienced the necessary grief over the loss of Amber yet, but not being able to text her definitely stings a bit. Someday it’s going to hit full on, and I’m going to be mad about it because I know the when and where of it will be inconvenient and possibly embarrassing. When my brother died two years ago, my grief hit in the middle of a game of Risk at our friends’ house.

And now let’s talk about the “busy” part. Since I was planning on having Weird November Energy, I took on too much. It’s entirely my own fault. I believed in myself too greatly! 

For the past 4-5 years I’ve made and sold pumpkin rolls for Thanksgiving. Every year I debate whether I should do it again (it’s a huge undertaking), and so far I’ve kept it up because, I admit, I’m a sucker for flattery, and people say really nice things to me when they want a pumpkin roll! So I’ve spent a lot of time and energy on that (and I can’t even look at cream cheese frosting right now). I love doing it, but it’s exhausting. 

November is also when the high school performs their musical, and for the 5th year in a row, I have a participating child, and I’m helping with “this and that.” 

Sami and Daisy doing tree pose as trees

Scotty and I have transported some set pieces and costumes and helped build stuff. I coordinated a small fundraising venture with help from my employer and spent a few hours building items to sell (level of success yet to be determined). I’ve helped feed the theatre kids (108 of them) three times now, and my most recent meal was over ambitious. But, once again, the flattery got to me! All it takes is one kid to say, “Oh my gosh this was so delicious!” and I’ll forever be making 150 breakfast burritos, 12 batches of cheesy potatoes, 125 rice crispy treats, and 140 batches of no-bake cookies (with gluten-free and meatless accommodations) for something that could have just been a “snack.”

(One of the kids, when she saw the meal, said, “OMG, am I in Heaven?” and at that moment, I was completely validated and would have done it all again the very next day in a heartbeat. This was five minutes after turning to my friends and saying, “Okay, I went overboard. This was too much!”)

The first meal I helped with, we did nachos, applesauce, cupcakes, and Sunny D

The past few days have been a bit of a reality check for me as I’ve had to acknowledge that I have some very unhealthy mental patterns regarding letting people help me. I mean, I’ve always been aware of it, but now I’m, like, really aware of it. 

I’m messed up. 

If my friend was acting like me and refusing help, I would tell her things like, “I am happy to help you!” “I would love to work on this with you!” “You’re doing so great, and I enjoy being a part of your experience!” When I offer to help someone, it’s not because I think they can’t do it on their own or because I think they’re going to fail. But when someone wants to help me (or more so when I really do need the help), I feel like I did it wrong. Like I didn’t plan well enough. Like I’m having to be saved and like I took on too much and couldn’t handle it in the end.

I know better, but I can’t quite kick it.

There’s also this thing where we all tend to talk about how busy we are (Exhibit A), so I hear my friends talking about how much they have going on and how little time they have, and then they say, “Do you need help?” and in my mind I’m saying, “Yes, but you don’t have time!” 

In addition to Asia, pumpkin rolls, and theatre things, I had sick kids home from school, my work got slammed with orders (which I actually really love, but it put us behind for weeks, so I took on more hours), Zoe had a birthday (and requested a potato themed party), and I took my turn teaching Relief Society. I also spent several hours putting together Nicky’s Christmas package(s) because there were some things I wanted him to have by December 1st, and I started worrying about getting them there on time. You have to plan these things according to zone conferences and transfers. The package ended up arriving the day after zone conference which is one of the things that went wrong last week and made me sad. Now it’s just sitting at the mission home for who knows how long.

The day the package arrived in Puerto Rico, we got an email from the mission president (sent to all parents - not just us) asking us not to send excessive or elaborate Christmas packages and gifts to our missionaries. Being the delicate little flower that I am, I started to wonder, “What if it was my package that triggered this message? What if the mission president thinks I was sending excessive things?” Hopefully my Christmas package(s) aren’t excessive. There are two of them just because the stuff didn’t all fit in one flat rate shipping box. I’ve only sent the first one and have the second one almost ready to ship. I did an advent and sent one gift for every day in December for Nicky to open. It’s stuff like a bar of soap, a pack of gum, instant potatoes, a pack of paper plates, and deodorant. Nothing fancy or expensive. But that email made me self-conscious and left me worried that a box of macaroni and cheese might be extravagant. But then I got sensible and reminded myself that, to those receiving and caring for the package between now and the next zone conference, it’s just a white postage box. They don’t know what’s in it, and they don’t even know that it’s for Christmas! 

Now I’m trying to think of what to do for Nicky’s birthday (December 27th) because I need to get that sent out too! 

So I’ve been a bit busy and sad this November, but I’ve also been challenged in good ways, blessed with opportunities to serve others, and able to put my talents to work. 

And there are still two weeks left in this wild month!

4:00 a.m.

For the past two years it's been pretty common for me to be wide awake around 4:00 in the morning and not be able to go back to sleep. I used to try and solve the problem, but then I decided to just embrace it. I'm awake. I might as well take advantage of it!

Here are some of the things I do in the ridiculous hours of the morning when I can't go back to sleep:

Go to work - I'm blessed to work at a place where I pretty much make my own hours. I frequently arrive at work by 5:00 in the morning (my earliest has been 4:30). 

Text Nicky - Nicky is currently three hours ahead of us, and sometimes I text him photos and messages when I'm awake. He can't respond unless it's P-Day, but I can see when he has viewed my messages.

Schedule texts - if I have texts I need to respond to, I'll draft them and schedule them to send at a more reasonable hour (now you will always wonder if my text was just sent, or if I was thinking about you at 4:00 am).

Go to McDonald’s - I have my McDonald's patronage down to an art. I know which locations are 24 hours and which ones open at 5:00 a.m. I'm not opposed to going to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast, but they don't open until 6:30, and frankly, I don't understand that nonsense!

Watch Dancing with the Stars - this is my Wednesday morning activity. On Tuesday night I delete all of my social media apps from my phone so I don't accidentally see any spoilers. Then I watch the episode on Disney+ in the morning and reinstall my apps when I'm ready. 

Doom scroll - wish it weren't so, but I'm not gonna lie about. 

Play Ark Nova or Wingspan - I often fall asleep playing Ark Nova and then finish the game when I wake up. 

Pay bills - on days that auto deposit hits, I get the money moving first thing. 

Read scriptures or conference talks - secretly I do this because it's one activity that sometimes helps me fall back asleep. I appreciate a good study session, but I also don't mind if it makes me snooze. 

Perform in-depth Google research - 4:00 a.m. is a great time to do some fact checking.

Place orders for grocery delivery - I'm a fan of the 6:00-8:00 a.m. delivery window offered by Walmart. I can have all my groceries in my house before I go to work. 

Impulse shop - some of my best and worst shopping experiences have taken place in the wee hours of the morning. Recently I ordered paper plates from Sam's Club and have no idea how it happened. I just got an email saying my paper plates had shipped. 

Read - I'm trying to ease myself back into enjoying books. I try to always have at least one selection in my Kindle app. 

Blog - a portion of this very post was drafted between 4:00-6:00 a.m. over the course of three days.

As you can tell, a lot of these are "phone tasks" which raises the question of my sleep issues being related to blue light exposure. I'm always on my phone until the moment I fall asleep - not gonna lie. My zoo isn't going to build itself, after all! So it's possible I am sabotaging myself by getting on my phone at 4:00 a.m., but in my defense, I don't turn to my phone unless I know I'm not going back to sleep. I always at least try to go back to sleep before I begin my phone business. 

Things I don't do when I can't go back to sleep at 4:00 a.m: clean and exercise. 

Gratitude #3

Getting to talk to my missionary every week.

Missionaries used to only get to call home twice a year - Christmas and Mother’s Day. It sounds mean and overly strict to the modern mind, but you have to remember that it used to cost a lot of money to call long distance. I couldn’t even call my cousins that lived 30 minutes away without paying long distance fees, so missionaries calling home from all over the world would be pretty expensive. Also, our culture wasn’t so attached as it is now. We spent significant amounts of time every day being unreachable to each other, so while twice a year seems cruel now, it wasn’t always so. 

I experienced the twice a year rule and hand-written letter era while Scotty was on his mission (email became more common and available for missionaries shortly after he came home - we barely missed it). I survived. But now I am a victim of 2025 and the technology available to us, and I need to talk to my son every week. I just gotta. So I am very thankful that we have the resources to make that happen and that the Church has adapted its policies to allow us to do so. Not only do I get to see my son on video chat weekly, I feel like we are more active participants in his mission. We get to be a part of it and be more involved in the experience. 

Gratitude #2

I'm only two days into this gratitude series, and I've already made a fool of myself. 

Yesterday I wrote about being able to remember names and faces well and how I believe it's one of my strengths. Every November I make and sell pumpkin rolls. Last night I had some people coming by to pick up their orders. My doorbell rang, and I opened the door expecting to find my neighbor Rebecca on the porch (that's who it looked like through the camera on my phone screen). Instead, I was met by someone I didn't know, and because I was a bit stunned, I kind of just stood there staring at her. My brain was on loop trying to place this woman. I finally said, "Who are you picking up for?" She looked back at me and said, "Um... me? Tiffany?"

You guys! I know this woman! She buys pumpkin rolls from me every year! And when I opened my door, I had no clue who she was. 

In my defense, she was wearing glasses and has lost 100 lbs since last year. So yeah... she looks quite different. But I am so embarrassed that I didn't know who she was. Especially since I knew she was  coming, and I'd just bragged on the internet that I remember people soooooo well. 

Sheesh. 

Let's move on to the next prompt and see what else I can do to embarrass myself. 

Second chances. 

Being able to be forgiven.

Being able to try again.

A few months ago at church I was a little disheartened by the tone of some of the comments being made in testimony meeting and later in our Sunday school class. Everyone was talking about the ways they'd been wronged/offended/mistreated at church. Fortunately, these comments were all about things from the past and things that had happened in former wards, so it didn't feel accusatory toward the people in the room, per se. However, no congregation is perfect, so these things happen all the time even in our current ward family. The thing that ate away at me that day was that a lot of the offenses sounded like the perpetrator was just a wee bit ignorant. I felt like I was hearing story after story of people just saying and doing the wrong thing but not having ill intent. 

After each account I kept thinking, "I understand why you found that hurtful, but would you let that person try again?" I kept imagining myself in the position of the offender and just hoping that when I've said something stupid or ignorant or offensive that I would be given a chance to try again. 

I am grateful for everyone who has been hurt by me in some way but loves me anyway. I'm grateful that I've been given second chances, and I'm grateful for friends and family who understand that I'm still learning and growing and trying to do better. 

----------

Last time I did this gratitude series, I wrote about friendship for this prompt.

Gratitude #1

Back in 2020 when the COVID fiasco began, I was in the middle of writing a series of gratitude posts. It ended up being really helpful for me to be focused on gratitude during those early days of lockdown. Being the season of Thanksgiving (and being inhibited by writer's block lately), I've been thinking about doing some gratitude posts, and I stumbled across the prompt I used in 2020 and want to use it again. 

Just for funsies, I'm not going to go back and read what I wrote for each prompt in 2020 until I've written my post for 2025. I don't remember what I wrote last time, so I think it will be interesting to see how similar/different my posts end up being after five (almost six!) years have passed. Exciting, isn't it? 

Due to waiting until very close to Thanksgiving to start this challenge, I should probably get right to it. (Let's see... ten prompts and 13 days until Thanksgiving. I might be able to handle that). 

The first prompt:

A strength of mine for which I am grateful is...

Being good with names. 

This is a gift the Lord has blessed me with. I remember names, faces, and things about people pretty well. Every now and then there will be someone who won't "stick," but that's not very common. Most of the time, I know who people are, and I remember them. Sometimes I suppress this skill because I don't want to freak people out. Imagine me saying to you, "I actually know who you are. My friend dated your younger brother in high school, and my parents bought their house from your grandma," or "I've never formally met you, but my mom and your ex-husband's mom used to work together, and your new husband's parents are in my ward." That is what's going on in my brain, but I keep it hushed. 

I do think it's nice to be known, though, so I'm grateful that I have this strength. I feel like it helps me be a better friend, community member, and teacher. If I'm teaching a class, I'm able to call on everyone by name, and if it's a group of people I've never met, I can have 90% of their names down if I just have them go around the room and say their names.

When I was in elementary school, it was a dream of mine to have the entire student body line up on the playground and let me go down the line and see if I could name everyone in the school. 

(Sidenote: I have a friend who did something like this in high school, but it was identifying everyone's bare feet as we all stood behind a curtain. She was a freak. And she's still a freak. But now she's a licensed foot zoner). 

My friend, Christie, has this gift as well, and watching her "know" everybody has inspired me to hone in on this strength. 

----------

Last time I did this prompt, I wrote about my love of learning. That is another strength I remain thankful for. 

The Dream Crushing Continues

In preparation for this post, I went back and read two old posts - this one about Zoe and her big dreams, and this one about Zoe... and her big dreams. The post I'm writing now? It's about Zoe and her big dreams. As I went back and revisited those posts from 2-3 years ago, all I could do was sit here laugh-crying because nothing has changed! She's still going at it, and she's still chasing after some of the same dreams she was caught up in back then. She is still writing books, trying to start businesses, inventing things, and trying to get our entire community to be in a nativity stage production (written and directed by her, of course). She still asks me to find her a publisher for her book (which still has no punctuation), wants to teach dance classes, and asks me to find someone she can collaborate with on the release of her single because (as she explains) she's really good at writing lyrics, but she doesn't really know how to create the music part. Recently she asked me if I could hire her a manager. I lied. I told her I put her on a waiting list for a manager, and she's number 300. 

The other day I picked her up from school, and she spent the entire ride home telling me all of her plans to start a pest control company. She named the business and all of her products. Apparently she spent the day at school researching how to repel mice and bugs and she was going to need a whole lot of lavender and rosemary. Now everywhere I step foot on our property, there's a sprig of lavender or rosemary underfoot. Our garage is loaded with it, and every exterior door has a pile of herbs on its stoop. There are also spray bottles of brown-ish herb water all over the house, and the backyard has dishes of chopped up leaves laying all around the grass. 

No pests shall pass this threshold

Today she has been fully focused on her nativity production. She has asked me if I will please reserve the church for her and let her perform her nativity. She wants to hold auditions and make it free for all to attend. I just want to say, "OH MY GOSH, NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!" But am I supposed to let her try? Am I supposed to help her do it? Am I supposed to make her dreams come true?

She said to me, "Mom, please let me do this! It might jump start my career."

No. It won't. It will be a big, fat pain in the arse. 

A while ago she became obsessed with getting an electric guitar. She begged and begged for one. But the girl already has two acoustic guitars, and do you know what? 

SHE DOESN'T EVEN PLAY THE GUITAR!

But she thinks she does. 

She has no comprehension of the fact that there are things she doesn't know how to do. She thinks she is a prodigy at everything. She truly believes she knows how to play the guitar. Being the mean mom that I am, I said, "Go get one of your guitars right now. I'm going to show you a sheet of guitar music, and if you can play the song, I will buy you an electric guitar."

She brought in the guitar. I showed her the music. She couldn't play it. That was a few months ago. Guess who just used her birthday money to buy herself an electric guitar that she still can't play?

Full disclosure... I have no idea how to handle this part of parenting. I feel like my main role as a mother is to crush dreams. You know those people who grow up, and they're like, "They said I couldn't do it! They said I'd never make it! They didn't believe in me!"

It's me. I'm "they." It's going to be my child telling that tale someday. 

The worst part? I remember what Child Britt was like. 

I think Zoe got this from me. 

The Right to Remain Calm

When it comes to parenting, it feels like it's all just a big experiment. So much of what I do is just a best guess. I know there are a lot of things I'm good at as a mom. There are also a lot of things I'm bad at. Then there's that gray area where I'm just really unsure. I could be doing the right thing, or I could be doing the wrong thing depending on the child and the circumstances. What's right for one of my kids might be the worst thing I could do for one of my other kids. 

The other day I was thinking about some of my parenting techniques and wondering if I've done okay so far. My kids are pretty decent, but I don't know how much credit I deserve for that and how much is just their nature or dumb luck. There's also the fact that they could change at any moment. The principal at the junior high jokes about (but is also very serious about) how your kid that has always been well-behaved could easily become a monster when they hit those crucial developmental phases of middle school. 

Time will tell if I've made good parenting choices. There are plenty of things I wish I could go back and fix, but all I can do is keep moving forward and use my best judgement.

Looking back, I have a few experiences from my younger years that I think have influenced the type of parent I've become. 

The first is when I was a kid, and my step-sister tried smoking. She told her mom (my step-mom) what she’d done, and my step-mom didn't freak out. I remember being blown away when I learned that Liz had smoked and voluntarily told her mom! I didn't know that moms could choose to not be mad. That they could just say something like, "I'm glad you told me, and I hope you don't do it again." 

The next experience was when Scotty and I were dating. I was probably about 16, and we went to a birthday party at Scotty's cousins' house. Scotty's cousins were known to be a bit rowdy, and the Birthday Boy (who was turning 18) and some friends were rough housing when one of them got slammed into a wall and put a big hole in it. I saw it happen, and I thought Scotty's aunt was going to lose it on those boys. She didn't, though. She just said, "Alright, you idiots. Go outside." She sent them in the backyard, and the party went on. Maybe she came unleashed later when there wasn't an audience, but in the moment, she stayed very calm, and I was in utter shock. 

The third experience was shortly after I graduated high school. I hung out a lot with my friend, Ted, who was the oldest in his family. The boys were rowdy in the same way Scotty's cousins were rowdy (in fact they had the same family configuration of three boys and a girl - same order). When I would go to Ted's house, his brothers would literally bounce off the walls. They would climb on stuff and jump onto their giant bean bag chair. They ran free all over the place doing what we now would label "parkour." There was so much energy and craziness in that house, and I was in awe of it and kind of loved it! Ted's parents were so chill and unfazed by it. They probably needed to crack down on it a little (I don't know how any of those kids turned out because I didn't keep in contact with Ted or his family after I got married), but they exposed me to an alternative way to react to chaos. 

All three of these experiences showed me calmness, and I don't know what kind of parent I would have become if I didn't have exposure to these situations. They really impacted me, but I didn't realize it at a conscious level. Then one day, when Nicky and Daisy were little, I had a friend and her children over to play in the sprinklers. As the kids played in the water, Nicky took his towel with him, super hero cape style, and ran through the sprinklers, resulting in getting his towel soaked. My friend gasped and gripped my leg and said, "How are you being so chill about this?" She explained that if her kids got their towels wet in the sprinklers, she would be so angry. I hadn't given it a second thought. I just figured if Nicky's towel was wet, and he wanted a dry one, he would learn to not run through the sprinklers with his towel. I didn't see the need to scold him over it. 

None of that is to say that I haven't ever lost my cool or overreacted. I do plenty of that. But I also have moments where I remain calm. 

Like when Nicky rammed his head into the wall while running down the stairs.

Or when Nicky rammed his head into the wall after spinning in circles for too long:

Or when Nicky rammed his knee into the wall while trying on his mission pants.

(I’m still not sure exactly how this happened)

Hopefully someday I can hand him a tub of mud and say, “Go fix all the damage you caused!” In the meantime, if my kids aren’t afraid to tell me they put a hole in the wall, that’s not a bad thing. Hopefully I won’t have to repair too much damage I’ve caused.

Surviving the Costumes

Last year after Halloween I wrote about how I get really burned out with costumes this time of year. This season is no exception. Between school dress up days, dances, musicals, and Halloween, I’m constantly throwing together some kind of outfit for someone, and I’m always hunting down this or that so someone can be a character from a book, or a cowboy, or a tornado in the Wizard of Oz. 

With that complaint, let’s talk about Halloween. 

Eva was Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas. 

Zoe was a zombie… but also a bottle of ranch dressing and a monkey.

Daisy was a rooster (always her “go to” costume from the costume box), and she forced Scotty to wear his Inigo Montoya costume at the last minute.

Our Halloween was kind of a bummer this year. Eva wasn't feeling well and spent the night sleeping on the couch. We took her out trick or treating for a brief moment, and then she came home and laid on the couch some more (I actually didn't mind this at all because I would prefer to just stay home on Halloween, so I'm always the "take home" parent while Scotty stays out trick or treating). 

Zoe was planning on going trick or treating with a friend, and it didn't work out, so she called us in tears while we were out trick or treating with Eva, so we went and got her and took her out for a while. Scotty also wasn't feeling well, but he was a trooper and took Zoe and Daisy around the neighborhood for a while. 

The next day was the Sadie's dance for Daisy. She asked a friend from the neighborhood with a giant stuffed bear that she found in a dumpster. He answered her with a foot poster. So basically, they are both gross, so they had a lot of fun together. 

This is how things went leading up to the dance:

Me (several days before the dance): Do you need me to get anything for you for Sadie's?

Daisy: I'll let you know.

Me (again) (several days before the dance): Do you need me to get anything for you for Sadie's?

Daisy: I don't think so.

Me (the day before the dance): Do you want me to get you blue and red t-shirts for Sadie's?

Daisy: No, I think we have what we need.

Daisy (the morning of the dance): Hey, can you get me blue and red t-shirts for Sadie's?

Sigh...

Now we are getting ready for the musical at the school which opens in two weeks. Guess how many costume changes Daisy has?

Six.

Currently (November 2025 Edition)

Reading: nothing. But I did finish a book a couple of weeks ago for the first time in a long time. 

Wearing: brown jeans and a cream hoodie.

Annoyed by: everything. It's PMDD week. 

Singing: something by Adele, but whenever I'm trying to identify the song in my head, it vanishes, so I can't recall the song. 

Craving: water. I'm a little dehydrated, and I think one of my medications might be causing dry mouth. 

Watching: 

Buying: little gifts for Nicky's Christmas package. I am sending him a gift to unwrap each day in December. Just small things that a missionary can use - most of which are food. 

Eating: leftover potato dishes from Zoe's potato themed birthday party Sunday night.

Suffering from: feelings of dread and extreme irritability due to the aforementioned PMDD. 

Excited for: bedtime. This time change is kicking my butt. How can it still be today? How is this day not over yet? I need to be done. 

Cooking: Western Omelet Quiche . I love it - probably more than the average person. 

Procrastinating: making a few doctor appointments. I feel like any efforts to improve my health or treat my medical issues are fruitless. I just go in circles and get nowhere, and medication never does what it's supposed to for me. That's one of the biggest reasons I stopped giving a rat's ass for a while, but now I'm trying to give a rat's ass again. Just a little rat, though. 

Missing: the good old days. I've officially become one of those old people that longs for a different era and can't handle the modern-day trends, slang, and technology. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Listening to: Benson Boone. His concert made me a fan. And let’s be honest, my mini van stereo makes those drums really roar!

Enjoying: any day that I can wear a sweatshirt and feel comfortable. But since it's still in the 70's, that is not happening currently. 

Hoping: that Zoe and Eva will love each other someday. 

Wanting: a break from everyone needing me. 

Feeling: fatigued and sad (once again, it's the PMDD, and since I know that's what the problem is... it helps, at least).

Proud of myself for: not going to McDonald's today (let's just say I have a bad habit fueled by soda and various free items I've won in Monopoly).

Tired from: Halloween, feeding the Sadie’s kids, hosting game night, and throwing a birthday party all in one weekend. 

Looking forward to: the can of Holiday Creamy Vanilla Coke Zero (how's that for a long name?) that I am currently refrigerating and will sample tomorrow. 

Addicted to: Ark Nova on my phone. As of today, I have played 199 rounds. I should probably go for 200 before bed just so I can go to sleep knowing I ended the day on an even number. 

Celebrating: Zoe's thirteenth birthday! With a potato party in Daylight Saving lighting. 

Avoiding: anyone I know in a grocery store. I'm so sorry. I love you, but if we have been at the store together in the past week, I have probably gone out of my way to dodge you. 

Needing: a new banister on the front porch. Our current one has rusted through in several places and is likely to injure an elderly visitor or Amazon delivery person any day now.  

Wondering: if I will like the new full-cast audio Harry Potter books - the first of which is released tomorrow. The Jim Dale narrations are so good, I feel like I'm betraying him by listening to the new ones, but I have to give them a try!

Loving: any hint out there that people are still good.

Feeling bad about: not wanting to do anything with my kids. I don’t want to play games with them. I don’t want to take them places. I don’t want to watch their shows. I don’t want to listen to them talk.

Grateful for: having enough.