Oh, to be a Smith!

We have a German last name, and thus, people aren’t always sure how to pronounce it. For the most part, it’s not a big deal. We don’t care if people pronounce it incorrectly. In fact, we kind of expect it. But every now and then, our last name causes us some grief.

For the interest of this post, let’s pretend our last name is Koch, and that it’s pronounced like “Coke.”

One of the problems with having a last name like Koch is that when you say it aloud, people assume it’s spelled “Coke.” Because of this, I always say, “Koch. K-O-C-H,” and I spell it very slowly because I’ve found that when people are already assuming the spelling of your last name, they can’t process a different way of spelling. Even when I spell it for them, they will still spell it wrong. The other thing I have to say frequently is “Koch with a ‘K,’” because people always assume it starts with ‘C.’

When Scotty and I got married in the Salt Lake Temple, our sealer was a friend of mine. He was familiar with my maiden name but struggled with my married name. Twice before we went in the sealing room he asked us how to pronounce our last name, and then he still said it wrong. We just smiled. 

(This happened to a relative of ours as well, and she asked the sealer to redo the sealing after everyone left the sealing room. I never would have thought to do that. I figure God knows how to pronounce our name. No big deal. Although sometimes when I’m mad at Scotty, I claim that we’re not really married). 

When Scotty graduated with his bachelor’s degree, the guy announcing the names told the students that he is a linguist and therefore, was selected due to his expertise in pronouncing names. He specifically told the graduates that he would not need any guidance in pronouncing their names. He was kind of an egocentric individual, so Scotty and I were pretty excited to see if he would actually say our last name correctly.

He didn’t.

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, I decided to write my name on the card phonetically (this is what I do when I go to the temple so the ordinance workers don’t have to worry about my name - otherwise they end up asking me over and over how to say it). The lady doing the names still said my name wrong. Thus Scotty and I both graduated with our names pronounced incorrectly. 

Again, we don’t really care. But we think it’s funny that, even when we do our best to set people up for success, they still get our name wrong.

Last week I had to pick up an order from Target. I was in a hurry because I needed to get my girls to their dance studio for class photos, so I got to the store right at 8:00 a.m. The gal running the customer service desk was having all sorts of problems getting my order. I gave her my name - spelled it TWICE - and had her scan the barcode for my order. She had two different people come help her, and she kept disappearing in the back, and then messing with her scanner. I did my best to remain calm and kind, but it was starting to get to me. All I needed was a stinkin' $6 bra for my daughter to wear with her dance costume, and there was a lady behind me in line, and it was 8:27 at that point. 

Finally, the exasperated Target employee said, "I'm so sorry. I have pulled up every order we have that starts with a 'C' and there is no order for 'Coke.'" 

I then said, very robotically with no facial expression, "My last name starts with a 'K.'"

So even after spelling it twice (at the employee's request), and having her scan the barcode for my order, which I assume should pull up my name, my last name still caused an issue. And when she looked for 'Koch' and not 'Coke,' lo and behold, there was my order. In the 'K' bin. Right where it should be.

I grabbed the bra and ran home (where the bra ended up being too big, but I went at it with a sewing machine and made it work) (but go figure!)

And thus is the joy of a name like 'Koch.' 

I'm just grateful it's not Rijssenbeek, like a friend of mine.

Fun and Responsibility

This week is one of those crazy May weeks - the week before the last week of school. We've been busy, and I'm slowing down for just a few minutes this morning so I can take a deep breath before I get going again. 

This week has been a combination of fun and responsibility. I've given us permission to eat at McDonald's multiple times a day. It is what it is. Since I got to take it easy in May of last year (one of the things I actually appreciated about 2020), I'm a little out of practice. I don't remember how to function on a full calendar. 

(Commence deep breath).

Fun

Last weekend, my sister-in-law initiated the following conversation:

Thus we ended up dropping everything, and driving two hours to the small town of Salina, Utah to stay at an Air BnB.... in a gymnastics studio!

It was, in a word, AWESOME. Our kids had a blast. My only complaint is that the place has no comfy couches to lounge about and be lazy on. I guess at gymnastics studios, you are expected to stay moving. Psht! 

Fun?

This week was a big week for dance. My girls all had costume rehearsals last week, dance photos on Saturday, then a technical (stage) rehearsal on Monday, dance auditions Tuesday, and concerts Wednesday and Thursday. 

Responsibility

Last week Nicky had his awards ceremony for school. 

He only has to go to junior high two more times! By golly! We near made it! One kid down, three to go.

(I can't even think about sending my girls to junior high or I go into full-on panic mode). 

Responsibility

I'd like to think this is responsible parenting.

One time one of my kids was at an outdoor party with friends and needed to poop, so now we have Code Brown.

Fun

This week I stocked the garage freezer with Otter Pops. We're as ready for summer as we're going to get!

(Release deep breath and go!)

How to Take a Nap: A Tutorial for Moms

Step 1: Send Kid A to the park with his friends.

Step 2: Text Kid B and tell her you’re going to take a nap, and if she comes home during the next hour, she needs to come in quietly through the garage.

Step 3: Put a TV in Kid C’s room. Give her a water bottle and a snack with permission to eat in her bed! 

Step 4: Tell Kid C that if she let’s you sleep for one hour and doesn’t bother you, she can have Easter candy when you wake up.

Step 5: Make Kid D a sandwich. Give her milk and an electronic device with Disney+. Tell her the longer she lets you sleep, the longer she gets to watch shows! 

Step 6: Review emergency clause outlining acceptable reasons you may be woken (someone is bleeding profusely, someone is missing a limb, someone is not breathing, something is on fire, someone is at the door with free food). 

Step 7: Text husband at work:

“Nap. Leave me alone.”

Step 8: Turn phone on silent.

Step 9: Tuck yourself in your best blankie.

Step 10: Fall asleep.

Step 11: Spent 90 seconds in sweet slumber before the first kid barges in the room and wakes you up.

Step 12: Remind child of emergency clause and Easter candy bribe.

Step 14: Go back to sleep for 90 more seconds.

Step 15: Repeat steps 10-12 for 18 years or more.

Love in the Time of Corona

Back in February, my son* gave me some surprising news - he'd asked a girl to be his Valentine. Until that point, Nicky had never noticed girls exist, so it was a jaw-to-the-floor moment, for sure. I had a million questions - Who is the girl? Do you like her? Did your/her friends pressure you? What are the expectations for being one's "Valentine?" Do I need to take you to the store to buy a gift? Have you always liked girls? And so on and so forth. 

It turned out that Nicky found out that The Girl liked him, and he liked her too, so with a boost of confidence, he decided to ask her to be his Valentine.

Since this little relationship began, Scotty and I have had lots of talks with Nicky - one of the earliest conversations being the one where we outlined some boundaries for physical affection. We asked Nicky if he wanted to hold The Girl's hand or kiss her, and his answer was, "Ew, guys! No! COVID!"

We laughed at the fact that our son was discovering "relationships" in the middle of a pandemic, and his top priority was preventing the spread of the corona virus. We told him it wouldn't always be that way - that someday, kissing girls might be more important to him than preventing COVID. He scoffed at us, but within a few weeks, he realized he did, in fact, want to hold The Girl's hand. 

I noticed for a few days that he would have hand sanitizer in his hand when he got into the van after school. I eventually learned that he was "sanitizer ready" after school everyday in case he got the courage to hold The Girl's hand. That added a new awkward element to young love - to sanitize or not to sanitize? How lucky we were in the 90's to not have to think about such things!

We've told Nicky that kissing is a no-no (not that we have any control over that), and he seems to be on board... for now. Nicky is a very cautious kid, and I can just imagine him trying to work around masks to go in for a smooch. Or perhaps demanding a negative COVID test before making his move. Hopefully masks will be looooong gone before kissing happens. Like years gone. But I've been a teenager in "love" before, so I know how things go (minus the pandemic part, of course. That's a little different). 

So this is the world in which my son is being introduced to "dating" - a world where sanitizer is a considerable factor in holding hands, masks inhibit kissing, and coming within six feet of each other is a new and dangerous thrill!

This is love in the time of corona!

—————————-

*Nicky read and approved this post. 

Trials and Trees

We've had the opportunity to go to Muir Woods National Monument twice in the past few years - first with our friends, Mark and Michelle, and later with our kids. 

Muir Woods is an old growth forest (meaning it has existed for a very long time without a lot of disturbance and therefore, has unique ecological properties) hosting coastal redwoods (a type of sequoia). 

The trees are magnificent, and they have a lot of really interesting survival traits. One that is particularly intriguing to me is described on this sign:

FAMILY CIRCLES

Hundreds of years ago a single large redwood grew here. Then disaster struck. The trunk of the large redwood was killed, perhaps by repeated and severe wildfire. From here you can see the original tree trunk still standing upright, now a dead and blackened snag.

Despite such terrible damage, the tree did not die. Below the ground, its massive root system was full of vitality. Before long, hundreds of young, bright-green burl sprouts began to come up around the circle formed by the root crown of the original tree. Some of those sprouts have grown into the full-sized trees that today stand in a circle around the original trunk. 

Here’s a photo of the tree circle. It's kind of hard to see, but the arrow is pointing to the “dead” trunk in the center. It's weak and broken down - a jagged leftover stump of a thing - but the trees that have grown up around it are strong and vital. 

In this past week's Come Follow Me reading, the Lord taught "be patient in tribulation" (D&C 54:10). Patience has never been my strong point, especially when I feel damaged, and I'm waiting for relief from suffering. I understand, though, that "after much tribulation come the blessings" (D&C 58:4).   

Both times I’ve visited this tree circle in person, I’ve thought about times that life has been hard, and I’ve become a dead and blackened snag. Mortality is brutal, and some of the things we have to endure feel immensely cruel and unfair. Yet, in many trying circumstances, roots have spread, and after some time has passed, I’ve discovered bright-green burl sprouts popping up around me that show that, even while I am encompassed in misery and hardship, there are things happening underground that I’m unaware of. With some hindsight, I’m always grateful for the vital new growth - the blessings, the mercies, the miracles, the strength, and the experiences of learning.

Don't get me wrong - I'd be perfectly fine to not go through another trial for as long as I live, but I know that the things I have already endured have brought me wisdom and blessings - my own circle of trees - that I wouldn't want to forgo. 

Back to School Books 4 & 5

I’m still trying to determine what my New Year’s resolutions are for 2021. I’m starting to feel like I’ve fallen behind a bit. What is it now, May? Well, the year’s not quite to the half-way point yet. I’ve still got time. 

The one resolution I did make was to read 10 “school” books. My interpretation of “school” books is “books I read in school OR books I could have/should have read in school.” 

So far I’ve read (and posted about):

The Scarlet Letter

The Outsiders

Wait till Helen Comes 

In the past few weeks, I’ve read three more “school” books, but I’m only going to count them as two.

First I read (well… technically I listened to) The Cay by Theodore Taylor. This was one of my favorite books from elementary school. I read it over and over again, and pretty much any time I had to write a book report in junior high, I wrote it on The Cay. Having had the same English teacher for all three years, I’m kind of shocked I got away with it. I guess she wasn’t exactly keeping track.

The Cay is about an 11-year-old boy named Phillip who ends up shipwrecked on an island with an old black man named Timothy. During the aftermath of the sinking ship, Phillip acquires a head injury, and shortly later, loses his sight. Phillip has some racial prejudice toward timothy initially, but as they work together on the cay, Phillip discovers that many of the ideals he learned from his mother regarding race are not correct. This, of course makes the book controversial as some feel it promotes racial harmony while others feel the book is actually harmful. 

The idea for the book came from an actual ship called the S.S. Hato that was torpedoed in 1942. There was an 11-year-old boy lost in the shipwreck, and Theodore Taylor, on hearing this story, wondered what might have happened to the boy. 

After I finished The Cay, I read Timothy of the Cay, which is the sequel. The original book was written in 1969, and the sequel was written in 1993. Timothy of the Cay delves into more of Timothy's backstory and elaborates on Phillip's life after the cay. It's hard to review the sequel without spoiling the original book, but it has a really good "what would I do?" scenario in it. Phillip has to make a pretty big decision in the sequel, and I don't think I would make the same decision he does, so it gives me a lot to think about. 

Though I've read The Cay several times, prior to this, I had only read Timothy of the Cay once. I definitely like the first book better, but the sequel is okay. 

I'm just counting these two books as one. They're very short. 

The third book I read was Weasel by Cynthia DeFelice. I don't think this book was ever required reading in any of my classes, but it seems like it was one the librarian was always promoting. Or perhaps it was one that was frequently on classroom shelves. I remembered the story completely wrong, so it was funny to go back and read it and realize the book didn't happen the way I thought. 

In Weasel, it's 1939, and Nathan's father is late returning from an outing when, one day, a man who has had his tongue cut out shows up at the house holding the locket that Nathan's dad wears. Nathan and his sister follow the man to their dad, who has been hurt. 

In the woods, a man named Weasel roams and has turned on the settlers after trying to drive the Shawnee Indians out of the area. He's become aggressive and violent, and frankly, is better off dead. 

I confess... as a child... it was the cut out tongue that appealed to me. Apparently, Young Britt had a morbid side. I should have been reading The Babysitters Club, but no. I needed gore. 

Weasel (like the other books in this post) is a very quick read and slightly controversial. 

Weasel has a sequel called Bringing Ezra back, which I only learned of right this minute. I'll have to give it a read. I'm curious. 

That brings me to the half-way point - five books of ten. 

The Stranger Things of West Valley

I see a lot of weird things while I'm driving around from day to day, and I realized this week that I need to start writing them down. I'm left to wonder if there are weird things going on in every city on earth or if I just live somewhere special. I also wonder if other people see as many strange things as I do, or if I catch more of it because I'm an observant person

Here are three things I've seen in the past week.

The Motorcycle Mascot

Last weekend, I swear I saw someone in a bear costume driving a motorcycle down 3500 South. I did a double-take and wished I had time to make a u-turn and follow him for further observation (I would do such a thing), but sadly, I needed to sally forth to my destination. 

The more I think about it, the more I believe it looked like Leo the Lion - the mascot for Real Salt Lake. There is no logical reason for Leo the Lion to be driving a motorcycle in that area, but that's what the creature in question resembled. And I confess... until about five minutes ago, I didn't even know that the Real Salt Lake mascot was a lion. It looks like a bear to me! 

Not a bear

And it fits with the Jazz Bear and Grizzbee. To me, all mascots, except Cosmo, are bears.

Anyway, after I got over the initial shock of the sighting, I realized how stinkin' dangerous it would be to drive in a mascot costume. You can't drive in a bear/lion head! So what in the world did I see? 

If I ever witness such a thing again, I will absolutely make it a priority to abandon all other plans and follow the alleged mascot. 

The Broomstick Biker

Another thing I saw recently was a man on a bike with a five-gallon bucket strapped to his back. What was in the bucket? Where was he going? I have so many questions.

But just to make it weirder, there was also something protruding from under the man's bike seat, and the only way I can think to describe it was that it looked like a broom handle, and it stuck out three or four feet.

Inspiration?

The only hypothesis I have is that it was his social distancing stick. No one was coming within six feet of that dangerous set up. That's for sure. 

The Misplaced Spaghetti

The last thing I saw was a car with an open bag of spaghetti noodles sitting on the back bumper. The car was driving down 3500 South (apparently 3500 South is a corridor of weirdness), and every few seconds, a spaghetti noodle would fall on the ground. 

I found this quite amusing and am dying to know the back story. I really wanted to pull up next to them at the intersection and say, "Excuse me! You're losing your spaghetti!" but I never had the chance. 

I just hope their dinner plans weren't foiled!

If these three instances have taught me anything, it's that the world is dangerous in unexpected ways. With bear heads, broomsticks, and flying spaghetti on the loose, you can never be too careful! Be safe out there, folks!

Internet Things

It's been (almost) a week since my last post because I lost my laptop charger... again. 

Guess where it was? In the electronics basket. Where I keep charging cords and other electronics-related accessories. So basically, it was exactly where it was supposed to be. And I spent a week looking for it under couches and in kids' rooms.  

(I maintain that I am a very disorganized organized person).

Anyway, I don't have anything in particular to write about today, so allow me to share a few internet "things."

We're probably all familiar with the THINK acronym that's floated around for the past several years:

It continues to be excellent advise - not just for social media, but for all interactions whether online or in-person. 

A few days ago, Brooke Romney posted this:

It coincides with the THINK acronym a little bit, but it expounds on it, and it's a great reminder for me, personally because I have issues with speaking when it's not my place. In fact, the two messages I receive from the Holy Ghost most frequently are:

1. Study the scriptures

2. Don't say anything

Purpose, delivery, and timing are all very important considerations before speaking, and I am a frequent violator of all of the above. 

But also, one thing that was brought to my attention a few years ago is how often we engage in scripted conversations or commentary. I realized this during a talk by Michael McLean at Time Out for Women where he was sharing some of his experiences with losing his faith. He talked about how, during class discussions at church, he had developed routine comments for every topic. I think we are all guilty of this to some extent. If the topic is "keeping the Sabbath Day holy" there might be a 'go to' comment or story that we share. Or a "word of wisdom" story or a "charity" story. Michael McLean realized that he had his routine comments he made on various topics, and he decided to just shut up for a while (I'm not being crude, he actually said, "shut up," and I get it because I'm a person who sometimes needs to just shut up!) He really made me think, so now I try to be more mindful about what I contribute to conversations and discussions - particularly gospel-centered ones. Does my commentary contribute to the discussion or am I just trying to fit in my routine story because "this is what I say when we approach this topic?"

I don't know if a lick of that made sense, but just know that I am trying to be be more careful about what I say. I don't think I'd do the world a bit of harm if I shut up a little more. 

But I digress... moving on... these made me laugh:

Side note: I'm absolutely fascinated by the dead bodies on Mount Everest and how they are used as landmarks. If you've never read up on the bodies on Mount Everest, you should. 

I can't tell you how many times I've blasted my air conditioner or heater in my car and finger combed my hair to try and get my bangs to dry straight.

Yes. I feel this so much. Before COVID, I still used mostly cash (it helps me keep a budget), and I always felt like an inconvenience to the world at large. 

And this is basically my life's work. Faking athleticism. Though in recent years, I've given up in many aspects. I still don't want to get caught breathing heavily, though. 

And then there's these things I see all the time and never comment on but always answer in my head:

Blue Toad in a Hole.

A two-pack of training bras. 

Rocky road.

Where is the maple bar?

Disneyland. But I don't remember if my first flight was with my family or if it was when I went to perform at Disneyland with my dance studio.

Butterfinger because they changed their recipe, and they got it wrong!

B.

A thousand times, B.

I hate cleaning.

Lady Sam I Am Toad in a Hole of Target.

3-ish.

There are things on this list that I don't care for much, but there isn't a lot that I absolutely won't eat. 

Yes I did. I didn't have my own phoneline, but I had a phone in my room as well as a TV and stereo. 

These are all acceptable! As well as many other toppings not featured, like pineapple or runny egg! I've even had peanut butter on a burger.

I can't think of one. I don't really remember eating anything other than Hamburger Helper, and while I don't really use Hamburger Helper now, I never hated it. 

Gremlins, and yet... I watched it all the time and carried around a stuffed Gizmo. I was a conflicted child. 

It's Thursday (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: I don't know where all this recent blogging is coming from. I somehow broke through some major writer's block, and suddenly I've got a lot to say. I've posted every day for over a week!

Fact #2: I go to Chick-fil-A way too much. I use their app and get points to use toward free food. The other day I was looking at my free food possibilities, and I realized some of their point “costs” seem a little steep. I believe the basic earning rate is 10 points per dollar (I’m “red status,” so I get 12 points per dollar). For 1200 points, I can get a 12 piece chicken nugget. Mathematically, that’s valuing $1.20 per nugget for a “regular” Chick-fil-A member, and $1.00 for a red member. Is it just me, or is that some high point chicken?

Fact #3: For 800 points, you can get a Greek yogurt parfait. Please don’t tell me that people spend $80 at Chick-fil-A to redeem their points for a small cup of yogurt. Get the deluxe chicken sandwich instead! You don’t go to Chick-fil-A for yogurt!

Fact #4: And while we’re on the topic of Chick-fil-A, can we all just agree that they have the dumbest kids meal “toys”ever? What’s with all this educational and parental interaction stuff? I don’t take my kids to Chick-fil-A so I can end up having to read them a book or play a game with them. I take them to Chick-fil-A because I’m lazy, so what I really want is a stupid, plastic toy that can keep them busy for 20 minutes while I check out mentally and douse my feelings in Coke and Chick-fil-A sauce. Then, they can bring the dumb toy home and bury it in the backyard, and we can chop it up with the lawnmower five years down the road. 

That is the joy of the kid's meal.

Fact #5: Four years ago, Eva sliced her forehead open at Chick-fil-A and had to get stitches. Part of me thinks we deserve free food every anniversary (May 3). 

How did it happen? I honestly don’t know. She was in the play place all by herself and she suddenly started screaming. I went in there to get her, and her head was covered in blood. 

Fact #6: Do you remember being taught in elementary school that you’re supposed to say “one hundred six” and not “one hundred AND six?” To this day, I’m still paranoid about getting caught throwing in an “and” and getting scolded. And I’ve noticed my kids are the same way. In fact, Zoe came home from school one day last week after having a substitute teacher, and she was completely distraught because that substitute had lectured the class after a student had used “and” in her verbal answer. Zoe was like, “Mom, she was correct, and the teacher told her she was wrong because she said “and” and he yelled at her in front of the whole class and made her feel really embarrassed.”

(I hope he didn’t really “yell,” but you know, to a kid, everything is “yelling” unless they’re the one doing it).

Anyway, “one hundred six” or “one hundred and six”… why should anyone waste their energy on that? Who cares? Give us our “and!” 

Yet, I was schooled as if there is no greater offense. 

Fact #7: Yesterday I was able to kneel for the first time in almost three months. I’ve also been able to squat and sit on the ground for a picnic. I’m pretty much back “in order” other than some residual knee pain. Let’s say I’m 99% better. 

I’m so thankful. 

Fact #8: I really wish I knew what happened to me. 

Fact #9: I’ve been playing Dr. Mario a lot on the Switch. I’ve gotten to level 22 (of 25) on low speed. If anyone walks in the room or talks to me while I’m playing, I start panic-flipping the pills, and I screw up. My kids have been warned - DO NOT DISRUPT MOM’S DR. MARIO GAME. 

(They still disrupt. Always).

Fact #10: Even though Dr. Mario requires my ultimate concentration, I find that I get some excellent pondering done while I’m playing. I’ve decided that instead of announcing, “I’m going to go play Dr. Mario,” I’m going to say, “I’m going to go do some deep thinking,” because the things that go on in my head during Dr. Mario are big and important.

The Bad Place

A while ago, I started watching The Good Place on Netflix. I made it through the first season and lost interest, but the premise of the show is that the characters, who have died, either go to the "good place" or the "bad place." In the "bad place" they are supposed to be tortured, and there are many ways that torture can be inflicted - from being lit on fire to being forced to listen to an annoying person talk for all of eternity. 

Anyway, the show got me thinking about what the "bad place" might be like for me. If some "bad place" architect were to design a scenario to torture me for all of eternity, what creative options might that person have?

Here are some ideas:

First, put me in a crowded place - a place where the people are incapable of sustaining order. Make it IKEA. Force me to parallel park with lots of people watching, and place the cart returns nowhere near my parking spot.

Then require me to eat quinoa and lead the Boot Scootin Boogie at a wedding. Add pinatas and gingerbread houses and mini golf. Include the sound of the same cell phone going off over and over. Make all the toilet seats loose so they shift any time I sit down.

Then crank up the heat. Not like "hell" heat. Just 78 degrees Fahrenheit indoors with no air flow. Force me to wear an underwire bra and jeans that are one size too small, then text me trypophobia triggering photos. Infuse everything with the scent of other people’s Cafe Rio burps. Have someone stand within a foot of me at all times.

Make me wait for people. Have them tell me they'll be there at noon then show up 21 minutes late, but first set all the clocks 1-2 minutes off from one another. Refuse me sufficient condiments for my foods. Let a dog jump all over me and sniff my butt. In fact, put lots of dogs there, and treat them like humans. Give them birth certificates and social media accounts, and write biographies for them. 

Install a koi fish pond. Make me feed the the koi. Don't give me access to dental floss. Take away my bidet. Have everyone drive 5 mph below the speed limit. Make everything slightly sticky.

That should do it. 

That...

would be a very bad place, indeed!

The lack of decent gifs is reason enough for me to not finish watching The Good Place

Blockbuster Memories

The other night Scotty and I watched The Last Blockbuster on Netflix. It’s a documentary about the last remaining Blockbuster store. Did you know there is still a Blockbuster store out there? Cuz I didn’t. Now, for nostalgic reasons, I need to go to Bend, Oregon and go to Blockbuster. In the documentary, they talk about the smell of Blockbuster… and the click of the video case closing in your hands. And yes!! I remember it all, and I didn’t know I missed it until I saw it on TV. 

We had a Blockbuster right down the street when I was growing up, and we were definitely regulars there. I recall the rush to try and get the hottest new releases before they were out of stock, and how you could ask to see the selection of returns that hadn’t been put back on the shelf yet. Sometimes you’d hit the jackpot, and they’d have a copy of what you were looking for behind the counter, and it would make you feel excited but dirty. Like you had a secret that you had to hide from everyone else in the store. If Blockbuster didn’t have what we wanted, we’d head to Hollywood Video for a second chance.

I remember having to make sure all the videos were rewound before we took them back, and how the inventory slowly switched over to DVDs. I remember when they started renting video games. I fell in love with Cool Boarders and rented it all the time until my parents bought me a copy of Cool Boarders 2 for our PlayStation. I also discovered PaRappa the Rapper through renting - which was the weirdest game, but I got totally addicted. 

One of my favorite movies to rent was The Haunting (the old black and white film - not the awful remake with Owen Wilson). Blockbuster had one copy of The Haunting on VHS, and I was always mildly offended when it wasn’t in stock even when I had no intention of renting it. I was possessive of it - like it was my personal copy that Blockbuster stored for me.

I was always really annoyed whenever the movies got rearranged at Blockbuster (kind of like I do now when the grocery store moves things), and it was incredibly frustrating when a movie had been out for a while but was still considered a “new release” and therefore, had new release pricing. Why should I have to pay new release pricing for a movie that has 40 copies in stock?

There was one time I went to Blockbuster with two of my friends, and there was a shooting right by the store. When we’d gone in, everything had been fine, but when we came out, there were police cars everywhere, and someone was sprawled in the passenger seat of a car with injuries. We rented O Brother Where Art Thou. It wasn’t a great pick for three teenage girls. 

When Scotty and I got married, it was a big thing to get our own Blockbuster card. A true sign of independence! We spent a lot of time at Blockbuster on the weekends going through the DVDs that were for sale 5 for $20. It was always really exciting to find five great movies. Most of the time we’d find three okay movies and end up with two awful ones just to get the $20 deal, but it was a blast even when we ended up with something stupid. We built a huge movie library, which we’ve since gotten rid of.

It’s sad to think that our kids will never know the joy of perusing a video store. Before we had Blockbuster, we rented movies from Top Hat Video and Albertson’s. It’s kind of funny that we can still rent movies at the grocery store - only now it's through a vending machine. I remember when Redbox came out. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever and never thought I’d use it. That changed, and we started using Redbox pretty regularly - mostly because our video stores started closing. Now we haven’t used a Redbox in quite a while because we pretty much rely solely on streaming. I confess, I hate putting a DVD in the DVD player so much that I’m willing to pay a couple of dollars more to stream a rental just so I don’t have to load a disc. How’s that for modern-day laziness? Also, there’s the whole perk of not having to leave the house. My, how things have changed! 

I miss the tradition of heading to Blockbuster for the weekend to see what movies we can find, but would I go back to it? Probably not. 

The memories are sweet, though, and I appreciate having something to say “Back in my day…” about.

Things the Kids Say: Episode 12

It's been a while since I did a post about things my kids have said. In fact, I haven't done one yet this year. For a while there, they were on a role, but for the last six months or so, they haven't been making as many notable comments ("notable" in that I feel compelled to jot them down because they're just so funny or unbelievable). 

As always, I wish I could capture their little voices and their adorable speech impediments. 

Notice that Nicky and Daisy didn't make this episode at all. Chock it up to puberty and pre-teen attitude. 

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"Mickey Mouse

Donald Trump

Mickey Mouse

Donald Trump!"

-Eva

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"Nature's not fun."

-Zoe

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"That's so 90's!"

-Zoe, referring to a pioneer schoolhouse 

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"I think that bird died, and that other bird is giving it CPR!"

-Zoe, when she saw birds mating in a parking lot

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Me: Honey, will you go put these socks away?

Eva: I'm not a honey. I'm a zookeeper.

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"My whole life would be different if Daddy had a six pack."

-Zoe

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Eva: Mom, are there 100 trees on earth?

Me: There are way more than 100 trees on earth!

Eva: So, like 120?

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"My brain is working today because I haven't watched any YouTube."

-Eva

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Eva: Mom, who was the first person on earth to have a baby?

Me: Adam and Eve.

Eva: Oh, those naked people?

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"I want to go home."

-Eva... crying... while sitting on our living room couch

The Couple that Sees Plays Together

 Today is Scotty's and my 18th wedding anniversary. 

Obligatory wedding photo

We celebrated yesterday by seeing Les Miserables at Hale Centre Theatre. It was so wonderful to go to a show. I've been craving a theater experience, and after a pandemic year, it was pretty emotional to sit in my seat before the show and feel the spirit of performance. 

I'd never seen Les Mis on stage. Can you believe that? I've read the unabridged book and the abridged book. I've seen the Liam Neeson movie, the Hugh Jackman movie, and the BBC mini series. I've listened to several different cast recordings from the musical, but until yesterday I'd never seen a stage production of Les Miserables. 

It was a great way to celebrate our anniversary. We followed up with sushi at Tsunami, and then Scotty took the kids to Wendy's for their dinner while I stayed home and ate rocky road ice cream and beat levels 17 & 18 of Dr. Mario. 

(Did I mention that we opted for a 12:30 matinee because we are honorary old people, and we can’t go out with the “late” crowds?)

Going to Hale Theatre made me think of all the plays Scotty and I have seen together. I wouldn't consider us avid theater goers, but we enjoy seeing something theatrical once or twice a year. This morning we talked about which plays we've seen together and tried to compile a list. I'm sure we're missing some, but here are the ones we remembered:

The first play we saw together (we think) was one put on by our stake. We don't remember the name, but it was something "Zion-ish." Another possible first play was one written by a guy I went to high school with. Scotty and I went and saw it to fulfill an assignment for my humanities class. It was about Marco Polo (not the app). Those are our earliest theater experiences.

Then came a doozy… the time Scotty decided to surprise me for Valentine’s Day. He planned the activity - a double date with a mystery couple. Dinner and a play! We went to see the Adventures of Tom Sawyer at Hale Theatre… with Scotty’s mom and step-dad. Scotty learned, very thoroughly, that you don’t “surprise” me with a double date on Valentine’s Day with your parents. 

Those were all while we were dating. After we got married, we saw The Forgotten Carols a couple of times. I’m pretty sure we saw A Christmas Carol at Hale Theatre (Scotty can’t remember). And I think we’ve seen the Martin Harris pageant in Clarkston together.

Our stake did a production of Fiddler on the Roof (we saw that one with no air conditioning). We went to an old sugar factory turned playhouse and saw Scotty’s cousin in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (I was pregnant, and there were no bathrooms in the theater, but they had the cleanest, most spacious porta potties I’ve ever had the chance to use). 

While we were in West Yellowstone pre-kids, we saw The Foreigner at the Playmill Theater. I think the Playmill has since moved to a new location, but when we went there, it was the most claustrophobic theatre I’d ever been in (I swear the ceiling was a mere two inches from my head), and I thought I was going to have a panic attack, but it ended up being a great experience, and we loved the play!

When Nicky was about five, Scotty and I took him to his first play - Mary Poppins - at the Tuachan in Saint George. We’ve seen Aladdin and Frozen at Disney’s California Adventure. I found both of them very impressive, so they definitely “count.”

A few years ago we took Nicky to see Newsies at Hale Theatre. Then one year for Halloween, my in-laws took us to the Addams Family at Hale. We saw the first fifteen minutes, and then the fire alarms went off, and we had to vacate the theater. We got compensatory tickets and returned a few months later and saw Sessical. It was fun, but a little silly for my taste. Great for the kids though (we took Nicky and Daisy). 

Of course, we saw Hamilton when it came to Eccles Theater and then again in San Francisco. We also saw Wicked during its most recent run at Eccles. I loved it, but our seats were terrible. I want a Wicked do-over! And this time, I want Scotty to STAY AWAKE!!

(Seriously, who sleeps during Wicked?)

(Oh, just the man I’ve been married to for 18 years).

That probably sums up the plays we’ve seen together. I’ve seen lots of plays without Scotty. In junior high, my English class was able to attend several Pioneer Theater Company productions, and I’ve been to some plays with my friends for girls’ nights.

As I mentioned, I’d like to see Wicked again with better seats. I’ve never seen Phantom of the Opera on stage (we almost saw it in Vegas several years ago but ended up deciding not to). I’ve seen Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but Scotty hasn’t and I think he’d love it. I can take or leave The Music Man, but if someone gave me tickets to see it with Hugh Jackman and Sutton Foster, I’d be easily convinced to go and would probably become the greatest Music Man fan on earth. There are a lot more plays I’d love to see, so hopefully we have many opportunities in the future!

Happy 18th Anniversary, Scotty!

Our Unusual Gardening Tools

Once upon a time, Scotty and I put a garden in our backyard and adopted the Square Foot Gardening method. We gardened with both success and failure for a few years. It was great! Then I went back to school and got pregnant, and we took two summers off gardening, and the garden grew weeds that were 5' tall, and our chickens dug all the dirt out of our garden boxes, and our peach tree died, and the garden was never quite the same. 

We've been working on rehabilitating our garden for the past few summers, and this year we've made some really good progress. It's taken years, but we've sifted all the dirt out of the gravel, moved all the boxes, transferred the dirt, and moved all the rocks. We still have some work to do, but we got to the point where we've been able to plant! Sadly, we missed the first wave of planting and didn't get our cold weather crops in this year, but we're just in time for the warm weather crops!

We're trying corn for the first time (we've always been lucky to have farm corn. Uncle Fred still hooks us up each year, but it's time to become self-reliant in that area). I'm trying to plant it in phases so it ripens at different times. We planted some herbs, some tomatoes, some peppers, and several vining fruits and veggies. We used to have a decent strawberry bed... but chickens... so I got a bunch of strawberry starts from my neighbor which should fill in nicely over the next couple of seasons. It feels so nice to be gardening again. We've planted the last two or three summers, but our soil levels in our boxes were really low, and the dirt lacked nutrients, so our yield wasn't fantastic (but it got us through). This year, we have added fresh Mel's Mix to all our boxes and will hopefully have better luck. Unfortunately, it's only been three days since we started planting, and something has already munched on our plants, and we don't know what creature we're up against! Sneaky thing! Are you a bird? Are you a snail? Are you a rodent of unusual size?

Yesterday while I was working in the garden, I realized that we have some pretty funny gardening "tools."

Two of our most-used gardening "tools" are the arrow and the broom.

When we first started square foot gardening, I drove nails into the garden boxes at 1' intervals, and I would use them to run yarn across the boxes to make a 4' x 8' grid for planting. Then I got kind of annoyed with cleaning up the yarn every season, so I started just drawing the lines in the dirt instead. I really only need the grid just long enough to plant, so the yarn started to seem inconvenient and time consuming (though it looked pretty cool strung across the boxes). 

An old, broken arrow is a great drawing tool to make the grids. 

The arrow is also nice for poking holes in the dirt to put seeds in. 

Yesterday it took me a while to find the arrow, and I was quite distraught! Luckily I eventually located it leaning against the shed. 

Several years ago I ran over our broom and broke half the handle off. It's been floating around our garage ever since. The broom is awesome for smoothing out the dirt. As we've been shoveling fresh Mel's Mix into our boxes, we've needed to do some stirring, which creates hills and lumps. After we finish shoveling and stirring, we just take that handy broken broom and smooth everything out. 

Another handy "tool" we have in the garden is an old pond form. We use it to hold dirt - kind of like a wheelbarrow without wheels. We've also filled it up with weeds and garbage. 

The pond form doubles as a swimming pool for our kids. Win/Win!

Last but not least, we have a rabbit cage, which we use to sift rocks. 

Five years ago our friends moved to Minnesota, and they left their rabbits with us... which we kind of killed. Well, maybe not. They pulled a Romeo and Juliet on us and died together on a hot day. Now we use their cage to sift the dirt out of our gravel, and frankly, we can't live without it. 

I think I should start my own line of gardening tools. Watch out, Martha Stewart! 

I'm feeling so grateful for our little chunk of land - a yard where we can put forth an effort to grow some of our own food. It never feels like the most economical choice (we spend far more money on plants, seeds, water, and manure than we would for a summer's worth of produce from the market), but it's pretty satisfying to put something in the ground and watch it grow - then serve it for dinner and think, "With my arrow and my rabbit cage, I did this!"