Zoe: Mom, what's rum?
Me: It's a kind of alcohol.
Zoe: So hand sanitizer?
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"I'm never going to grow a beard because if I drive a motorcycle, I won't be aerodynamic."
-Nicky (who has refused to shave his face since Christmas and currently has a creepy, little mustache)
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Me (reading a news headline): "U.S. Surgeons Transplant Pig Heart Into Human Patient"
Nicky: So he's part bacon?
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"I have the power to smell butts from far away."
-Eva
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"I realized that people like me more when I'm not being annoying."
-Nicky
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"Mom, you better get used to us being naked because we're cats now!"
-Zoe
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"Grandma, when you die, I need you to tell me what it's like to be dead."
-Eva
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"Mom, you look older than normal."
-Nicky
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"What's up with this sassy grandma music?"
-Zoe, while listening to "Shoop" by Salt-N-Pepa
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"Who's this sassy, old lady?"
-Zoe, while listening to "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga
(there is so much old lady sass around here)
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"I like [Uncle] Tim's new look. He looks like he's from a sitcom."
-Nicky, when Tim grew a beard
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