An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (Part II)

Approaching a school crosswalk when there's a crossing guard and no kids, and you're like, "So, uh... do I make my own road-crossing decisions here, or are you the responsible party?"

Trying to get out of the Jungle Cruise boat before the cast members "help" you out. 

Exiting the aisle of the grocery store, but because you have a gigantic grocery cart in front of you, you can’t see the cross traffic, and you just have to go for it and hope no one t-bones you. 

Saying "Hey Siri" when you're talking to Alexa. Not to mention trying to remember when you have to say “Hey” and when you don’t. 

Spilling something on your boob.

Tie dying a shirt and ending up with the swirls on your boobs.

When a child puts a sticker on your boob. 

When someone else's kid nuzzles your boob. 

Having boobs. 

When you go to McDonald's, and you still have the garbage in your cup holder from your last trip to McDonald's.

When you take your second trip to McDonald's in one day, and the shift hasn't changed yet.

When you go to Chick-Fil-A, and you have McDonald's garbage in your car, and you're like, "I don't know where this came from! I didn't go there, I swear!”

When you go to Chick-Fil-A, and one of your former Sunday School students works there, and you’re like, “Oh heeeeey! I didn’t know you worked here! It’s so good to see you!” And they’re like, “What’s the name on you’re order?” And you’re like, “Okay then…”

When you go to Chick-Fil-A, and they don’t say “My pleasure,” and it’s all you can think about as you drive away.

When you see someone from high school that you were really good friends with but haven’t seen for 18 years, and they call you by your best friend’s name, and you decide you’ll just be Michelle from now on.

And for my husband…

When someone calls and asks you for a blessing, and you bring another priesthood holder with you to help, and then that other priesthood holder toots and says “Oops!” in the middle of the prayer (true story). 

Banana Bread Taste Off

On the first day of Thanksgiving break, I had several bananas that needed to be used or frozen, so I decided to do a banana bread taste off with my kids. That morning, my friend Julie and I had been talking about banana bread recipes, and that's what inspired this adventure. I thought... how do you really know what banana recipe you want to be devoted to if you don't try a few side by side?

Thus began my search for three recipes to try.

The first recipe I chose was Perfect Buttermilk Banana Bread from Mel's Kitchen Cafe. This has been my go to recipe for years, so it was a no brainer. This banana bread is unique in that the banana flecks don't turn brown. Mel says this is because the recipe has very little baking soda (interesting tid bit). 

For the next two recipes, I wanted to make sure there were some distinct differences. A lot of the banana bread recipes I looked at were very similar - they all had the same ingredients but with slightly different quantities (such as 1 tsp baking soda vs 3/4 tsp baking soda). 

For the second recipe, I chose The Best Classic Banana Bread from Our Best Bites. It seemed to be just as advertised: classic (other than it said to sprinkle the bread with brown sugar before baking, which I'm sure is fabulous, but in order to focus on the trueness of the banana breads, I didn't do any add-ons for any of the loaves I baked for this taste off. Especially with my children as judges. They'd have been too easily swayed by the additional sugar). 

For the third recipe, I chose The Best Banana Bread from the Food Network. This one was different from the other two in that it called for cinnamon, nutmeg, and brown sugar (hence the darker coloring). 

Normally, I love to add walnuts and/or chocolate chips to my banana bread, but like I said, I eliminated such frivolities for this taste test so we could focus on the essence of the banana bread. 

The batters ready to bake

After the breads baked and cooled, I made each of my kids a sampler plate. I was surprised when they agreed unanimously on their favorite one... recipe number two: The Best Classic Banana Bread from Our Best Bites (even without the brown sugar topping). 

I ended up taking sampler plates to my in-laws as well so I could get some perspective from adult palates. They both chose the same one as my kids!

Then when Scotty got home, I had him taste test the breads, and he was the lone wolf who chose recipe number 3. 

I tried them all, too, of course, and in my opinion, 1 & 2 tie, and 3 is a nice runner-up. In all honesty, I would eat any of the three without complaint. 

Scotty, my in-laws, and I agreed that the degree to which we liked one recipe over the other was really miniscule. There was no landslide in this taste off, but the reigning winner for now is Our Best Bites by just a fraction.

11:17 on Thanksgiving

It's 11:17 p.m. on Thanksgiving, and before the day is done, I wanted to make mention of a few things I've felt especially grateful for lately. I feel like I'm pretty decent at gratitude. I don't know if it's okay to say that (it sounds boastful), but I feel like I do gratitude "well" at this point in my life. Now, of course, there are times where I am selfish and ungrateful... and I'm sure there are people reading this who wouldn't think of me as a grateful person (those of you who I present the worst of me to), but in my heart, I am truly a grateful person... I think... maybe... okay, now I'm second/third/fourth guessing myself, but I can say that when I've taken the VIA character survey, gratitude has shown as one of my top five strengths,* so at least there's that. 

Anyway, three things I have felt very thankful for in recent weeks are my home, my ability to seek and receive personal revelation, and opportunities to learn and grow.

My home is not the biggest nor the nicest, but everyday I'm thankful that I have this little spot on earth that we can call our own. I know that "home" is more than walls and doors - we could live anywhere and make it a home, but that doesn't minimize my gratitude for these walls and these doors that have sheltered my family for 18 years. 

Seeking and receiving personal revelation is such a sacred and special blessing to me. Any time I feel that the Lord answers me or instructs me on a personal level, my heart swells with gratitude. I try to write those experiences down as often as possible because they can be fleeting. When I go back and read the accounts of personal revelation, I am always reminded of God's love for me, and how He knows my mind and heart.

With those experiences come the opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes I feel like I am stagnant - like I'm just standing still and not progressing in any way. But then I'll get the tiniest glimpse of some way in which I have learned or grown, and I'm reminded of the aggregation of marginal gains, mustard seeds, and small and simple things. I'm grateful that I don't have to stay the same. I'm grateful that my learning and growth have no expiration date. 

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with much to be grateful for!

*My top 5 strengths are spirituality, love of learning, humor and playfulness, creativity, and gratitude

[Insert big sigh of relief here]

Ahhhhhhh. My crazy November schedule is now tapering off. 

Last night was the final show for the musical at the high school. They did The Addams Family, and Nicky was in the ensemble, so he has been going to rehearsals for months. Before that, he was tied up with the school golf team, so all of a sudden, I'm going to have my son back, and he's going to be bored out of his mind!

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been doing stage make-up on the kids for dress rehearsals and performances. When I volunteered to help, I didn't know how much work it would actually be (kind of like most things I volunteer for). 

It was really fun, and I'd do it again in a heart beat, but wow! It was quite a commitment! I did make-up on 8-10 kids each time, which totaled to over 80 make-up applications by the end. I would get to the school around 4:30, do make-up for two straight hours, then watch the play for 2.5 hours. 

I never did any theatre in my youth, and I regret it, so this is me making up for it. 

It was fun to get to work with each kid's character and personality. After doing a few shows, I had a line-up of regular "clients." Some had special requests - "I want my scar outlined," "I want stitches on my lips," "I want to look like I was punched in one eye." By the end, I knew waaaaay too much about each kid's facial features including their hairy moles, their tendency toward sweaty foreheads, and their dry patches (the make-up wreaked havoc on their skin night after night). 

With doing so much make-up application, I started experiencing this weird phenomenon where I would see "white people." At the first night of the show, I told Scotty, "There must be a bunch of people in the audience from another play because I've seen lots of people with white make-up on." They looked like our theatre kids after they'd tried to wipe off their make-up but still had a layer of white residue on their faces. Scotty said he hadn't seen anyone like that, but I had seen a lot. At the next show, I saw "white people" again, and I started pointing them out to Scotty. "See that lady? She has white make-up on!" But Scotty would say, "No, she doesn't. I really think you're seeing things." As the days went on, I realized I was seeing powdery pale people everywhere, not just at the play. There were even times when I looked at Zoe and Eva, and they looked like they had white make-up on. 

It was weird!

Now that the musical is done, things will slow down to a more normal pace - at least, as much as they can during the holidays. Meanwhile, everyone is looking a little pale and should probably invest in a bit of bronzer. 

Doe! A deer! A big, dead deer!

Monday 5:25 a.m.

A text comes in from my sister-in-law, Amber, who is heading to my house to pick up pumpkin rolls (yes, that's correct - 5:25 a.m. I know it’s weird). Amber is going to stop at Walmart on the way. I return her text with, "Bad news! Walmart doesn't open until 6:00."

Monday 5:39 a.m.

I'm not able to save her the trouble. Amber discovers the hard way that Walmart doesn't open until 6:00. On her way out of the Walmart parking lot, as she reroutes to WinCo, she passes an unnerving sight! A garbage truck has hit a deer on one of the busiest roads in our area. The deer is alive and sitting in the middle of the road. 

Amber is distressed. 

Monday 5:45 a.m.

I am supposed to meet my friend Julie to go walking, but I need to check out this deer! I text Julie that I will be a few minutes late, and I drive to the scene of the accident. About six police cars block the lane, and I see what is literally a deer in headlights!

But not just any deer! It's a three-point buck! It's freaking grown-up Bambi!!!

Monday 6:52 a.m.

I finish my walk with Julie and decide to drive past the deer again. I'm really curious about how the situation is being handled. I'm anticipating that the DWR will be there trying to rescue him. Maybe there will be a deer crane. Maybe a deer ambulance. 

The police are gone, as is the garbage truck. I am disappointed. But wait! What it that in the grass?

Oh no. It's the deer. He's dead. THE DEER IS DEAD!!! And he’s been pulled onto the lawn on the side of the road to await collection. 

Monday 6:55 a.m.

I circle around and pass the deer again. Just to make sure I'm interpreting the situation correctly. 

He's definitely dead.

I have so many questions... who killed the deer and how? Who moved the deer and how? 

I don't think he died on his own. He looked too "alive" when I saw him. 

Monday 7:20 a.m.

I drop Nicky off at school and then drive past the deer two more times. Once to see if it's still there, and once more because, clearly, I'm obsessed.

Monday 7:30 a.m.

I Google "how old is a three-point buck." Google tells me that the points on a deer don't indicate its age - you have to check its teeth. I think about ways to check the dead buck's teeth but decide I don't really want anyone I know to drive past me while I'm snooping at a dead deer carcass. It's bad enough that I've driven past it five times.

But if I check his teeth, I’ll also be close enough to look for a bullet hole. Hmm…

No, Britt. You're not going to do that.  

Monday 8:31 a.m.

Deer is still there.

Monday 9:56 a.m.

Deer is still there.

Monday 11:39 a.m.

Deer is still there.

Monday 12:17 p.m.

I am in the Cafe Rio parking lot when several cops pull in for lunch. I want to ask them about the deer. "Hey guys, do any of you know anything about the deer out there on the road? Did one of you shoot it? How about one of your friends? Did one of your friends shoot it? How'd they move it off the road?"

None of the cops get out of their vehicles while I'm loitering. Should I knock on their car windows? Am I allowed special cop-bugging privileges since my step-dad works for the police department?

I already bugged him to see if he knew what happened to the deer.

He wasn't any help. 

Oh! And the deer is still there, so I text Amber to let her know that she and I might be stealing a carcass by dark of night and burying it.

Monday 2:00 p.m.

I get caught up for a while doing make-up at the high school for the musical. Amber texts me for the latest deer update. I don't have one, but I'll be able to check when I go pick up my girls from school. 

Monday 3:40 p.m.

The deer is gone.

Things I Don't Love

During the more restricted part of the COVID pandemic, there was a post people were putting on social media that was something along the lines of "five things everyone likes that I hate." You know what I hate? Those posts! Every single one of them made me angry. I was annoyed that we were in the middle of medical, social, and economical turmoil, and people were posting lists online of things they hated.

My friends would be all, "I hate milk!" and I'd be all (in my head), "How dare you hate milk! Do you know how hard it was to buy milk back in March? How can you be anything less that grateful for milk! You should love milk. You should cherish milk!" 

And now, here we are over a year later, and I have all the milk I need and no longer feel so sensitive about a person's right to dislike things. I've crossed over due to hedonic adaptation and now have my own list of things to share. But to soften the blow, I'm choosing to use the term "do not love." I don't hate these things per se... I just "do not love" them... in a very strong way. 

Here are some things I don't love:

The sound of hiccups (they make me crazy, and I feel so bad because people really can't help it if they have the hiccups, and yet, they make we want to yell, "Stop it, YOU!")

Cutting hair (I almost went into the cosmetology program in high school - oh what a mistake that would have been! I do cut my family members' hair most of the time to save money, but I really don't like doing it and put it off as long as possible - hence the scraggly looking men in my household).

Putting toothpaste on toothbrushes (okay, I confess, I am that lazy. I hate do not love putting toothpaste on toothbrushes and have been known to purchase disposable pre-pasted brushes because that's how deep my feelings run. Sorry, Earth). 

Chopping cabbage (as recently discussed, cabbage never ends. It starts off fun, like, "Hey I'm chopping cabbage! Squeeeee!" and then twenty minutes later, it's like, "How am I still chopping cabbage? When will this torture end?")

Buying and squeezing lemons or limes 

Changing lightbulbs

Borrowing things from people (the only people I'm really comfortable borrowing stuff from are mine and Scotty's moms - whom we basically abuse. Everyone else, I do not love borrowing from. I will go buy stuff on my own rather than borrow it from someone).

Opening cream cheese (I know I'm not alone on this. Can I get a raise of hands? Yes, that's what I thought). 

"Punny" Halloween costumes (like the person who tapes a bunch of paint samples on themselves and says, "I'm fifty shades of gray!" Or the person in a shark costume with a calendar hanging from their chest who's all, "I'm shark week!" Yeah... I don't love that. It makes me do the Grumpy Cat face).

Food "bowls" - like a "burrito bowl" or an "egg roll bowl." Let's just stick with actual burritos and egg rolls, okay?

Capri Suns (first of all, the straw wrappers end up all over the place, then kids rarely ever finish drinking their Capri Suns, so you end up with undiscarded pouches of liquid laying about, and no one knows whose is whose). 

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

P.S. I love milk. 

Onward, November!

Hello there! It's been a week since I last posted, which isn't unusual, but oh! What a week it's been! This whole month, in fact, is packed with good and crazy things. On Saturday, I hit my wall and had my "I can't do this" breakdown, but luckily, it was short-lived, and I was okay by Sunday morning. Prayer got me through. I've been praying my guts out all month - for energy and organizational skills beyond my natural abilities. 

After we got through the 176 days of Halloween, we moved right on to the next series of events. I had IEP meetings for Zoe and Eva - I recently had Eva assessed for speech, and they determined that she needs services. Zoe's IEP was up for renewal, so it was nice and convenient that I was able to do them both at the same time. 

Zoe's birthday was November 2nd. She's nine! NINE! On her birthday we had grandparents over, and Zoe wanted a crepe bar. We also had her birthday dinner that night. She surprised us by selecting tamales! 

Zoe enjoying her birthday spoils

That same week was "parent watch day" for my girls' dance classes, so I went to two classes and Scotty went to the third. Meanwhile, Zoe continued attending cheer practice three days a week. We also had our normal piano lessons, Lego League, Crazy 8's club, youth activities, musical rehearsals, and Elders' Quorum and evening work meetings for Scotty. 

The first Saturday of the month we had Zoe's cheer competition (her team took 2nd place). 

Zoe's cheer competition

Right after that, we had a birthday party for Zoe with her friends. Then Nicky went to Sadie Hawkins. The following day we had our primary program rehearsal at church (I am still the primary music leader), and that night we had Nicky's Court of Honor at the lodge at Camp Tracy so he could be awarded his Eagle Scout. We had the ceremony and a dinner. Scotty wanted to smoke brisket and pork butt, so he was awake all night Saturday checking on the meat and smoker (it all turned out great and everything went really well). 

The fabulous food line

The next week we had orthodontist appointments, hair appointments, and well-child appointments.

Daisy wanted bangs

Nicky had late-night play practices every day. I've been going to the school to help with make-up, and we took our turn hosting dinner for the cast. Yesterday I helped with make-up and then came back later to help my friend Christie serve dinner to the kids. Did I drop and shatter her Crock Pot? Maybe. Let’s not talk about it.

I put a little make-up on my son, and now I don't recognize him!

On Saturday we had Zoe's cheer showcase where the team got to show family and friends everything they've learned this season. They also did their team photos that day (this is the event that nearly broke me). 

On Sunday, we had our primary program, which I led the music for. Our pianist got sick last week, so we had to have someone else step in. Everything worked out, and the kids did great. This is the 7th primary program I've done as either a member of the presidency or the chorister, and somehow, it just always works out! Even if everything is an absolute mess the week before, it's always fine in the end. 

Throughout all of this, I've been making and selling pumpkin rolls. I've made 60 in total and sold almost all of them. I don't know how I've been able to pull this off because it should be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but I've done it! And I've loved it!

Pumpkin roll #24

And that brings me to today... Tuesday, November 16. Half-way through the month, with plenty more to come. Tonight is Nicky's first performance of the school play. It's a special preview for the parents. After tonight, he has six more performances and then BAM! It's Thanksgiving. I think things will slow down to a more "normal" pace after that, but with the way things are going right now, if I blink, it will be 2022. Crazy! 

I Dream of Mayo

It's pumpkin roll day. I'm aiming to make 12 today, and I bake two at a time, so that means I'll have about six 15-minute windows of time in which I can blog or do other short tasks. 

Baking and selling pumpkin rolls is a dream I've had for many years, so it's been fun to finally see it through. I'm not burned out yet! But there's still time!

Another dream of mine recently came to fruition. Bear with me because this is a weird one... I have always looked at the gallons of mayo at Sam's Club and hoped for a reason to buy one. I find gallons of mayo incredibly amusing. 

Friends, it happened. I bought a gallon of mayo!

I volunteered to provide food for a late-night musical rehearsal at the high school for 100 students. I decided to do sloppy joes, chips, and veggies & dip (with bottled water and a huge bowl of Halloween candy I may or may not have stolen from my children). I wanted to fill their bellies but also provide some nutrients - hence the veggies. I have a weird obsession with putting veggie dip in 2 ounce containers for a grab and go snack. I think it's the best thing ever, and I find it incredibly satisfying to fill the containers and line them up all pretty-like. 

But for real!

I always pack them when we go camping or on road trips, making it a "must" for my “feed the teens” menu!

Therefore, a gallon of mayo became a practical purchase.

Blurry mayo selfie I sent to Shannon - who is one of 

my biggest supporters in pursuing my life goals. In fact, she

calls herself my "marketing manager."

For my own record keeping (and for the benefit of all my readers who might need to prepare 2 oz veggie dips for 100 people someday), here is the recipe to do so:

Veggie Dip for the Masses

(makes 100 (2 oz) servings with a bit extra for dinner)

 Ingredients:

10 cups sour cream

10 cups mayonnaise

10 tsp dried dill weed

10 tsp dried onion

10 tsp dried parsley flakes

10 tsp garlic salt

Directions:

Mix all the ingredients together. Add to 2 oz containers, if desired. 

Also for my own record keeping (and for the benefit of any readers who might need to prepare sloppy joes for 100 people), I did 14 lbs of ground beef with 14 cans of Manwich. On small hamburger buns, I served 1/4 cup of sloppy joe meat, which was a great amount and maybe even a little too much for those who like their sloppy joes on the "less sloppy" side (like myself).  

I actually really like sloppy joes, and honestly, Manwich is my preferred sloppy joe other than my grandma's sloppy joes, which are kind of obsolete now because she has Alzheimer's, and she's the type that - when she gave you a recipe - she changed stuff so you’d fail and always be dependent on her. So essentially, Grandma ain’t makin’ sloppy joes, and she was never to be trusted to pass down an accurate recipe. 

I tell you no lie.

Behold the food - it sure doesn't look like much

when all is said and done, does it?

For more record keeping... for the veggies, I used 4 (3 lb) bags of baby carrots and 4 (2.5) bags of celery. I packaged the veggies in Ziploc snack bags. I wanted the food line to be quick and efficient because the kids only had a 20-minute break to eat, so I made everything "quick grab" other than  the meat, which I plopped on their buns as they walked by.

When preparing large amounts of food, there's always some trial and error involved in determining how much you need, so it's great to take notes for future food prep. Our portions were perfect for 100 people, but not all the kids came through the food line, so that gave us plenty of food for seconds - and in the case of one growing young man - eighths (no joke!)

I really love preparing mass amounts of food. I enjoy the challenge of it and seeing it through, and I delight in feeding people. Now, don't go confusing that with being on "food committees..." That's a completely different thing! (Ugh... I'll be on your committee... just understand that mass food production (which I love) and committees (which I tolerate) are not the same thing...) I definitely err on the side of having too much food, but I blame my mother-in-law for instilling that trait in me. Better too much than not enough!

Now that my dreams of selling pumpkin rolls and purchasing a gallon of mayo have been fulfilled, it's time to start working on my next dream. It's a Christmas dream, and I think I can pull it off this year! So stay tuned for that!

Currently {November 2021 Edition}

Reading:

I'm having a hard time sticking with this one, but my usual rule is to give a book at least 100 pages. I'm on page 91, and things might get interesting now.

Watching:

Dreading: going to dance class with my girls this week. Every first class of the month is "parent watch day," and while I think it's important to attend so I can interact with the teachers and parents and see what my daughters are learning, it's kind of a nuisance to go to three dance classes. 

Wearing: a Toy Story shirt and green joggers. Because I am the pinnacle of high fashion among 40-year-old Mormon women. 

Okay, I'm not 40. But I'm close enough to round up. 

Listening to:

I wasn't going to read anymore WWII books this year (I need a break), but this was on my "to-read" list, and I needed an audiobook to keep me company while doing mass amounts of household chores this week, and this one was available on Overdrive. 

Singing: "Anyone" by Justin Bieber. Sometimes I'm secretly a fan of the Biebs. 

Buying: Lots of food. We have Nicky’s Court of Honor this week (with a potluck) and then I am feeding 100 people next Monday. 

Craving: Korean beef tacos... which I will have for dinner tonight if I remember to marinate the meat. I really should stop right now and go prep it while I'm thinking about it, but nah.  

Also stuffing. On the list of Thanksgiving preferences, stuffing is a big deal to me. And I'm picky about it. 

Needing: pants that fit. As much as I love pants, I have a heck of a time finding any that fit. 

Annoyed by: Eva's tantrums. This morning she threw a tantrum before school because she had "no backpacks." The girl has two backpacks and was wearing one during this episode. She was on the floor kicking and screaming with her backpack on and refusing to get in the car.

Playing: 

These games have been around for a while, but we just learned to play them recently. 

Working on: stocking my freezer with pumpkin rolls. I have always wanted to make and sell pumpkin rolls for the holidays. I was going to do it last year since it was my first year having all my kids in school, but there was a pumpkin shortage and COVID, so I figured it wasn't a good time. This year, I'm finally doing it. 

Before I started taking orders, I spent two months practicing and finessing my pumpkin roll procedures. I have eaten more pumpkin rolls since August than a normal person eats in a lifetime. After some trial and error, I had 18 pumpkin rolls frozen and ready to sell, and I was hoping I could sell at least 15 of them before Thanksgiving. Well, I sold all 18 in one day and have orders for 22 more. 

I'm happy to say that I have overcome some of my baking disaster tendencies, and I'm actually quite efficient at pumpkin rolls. I multiply my recipe by six and weigh the batter so I get the right amount in each pan. I thought making six pumpkin rolls in a day was pretty snazzy, but after getting so many orders, I had to up my game, so today I made 18. They are cooling right now and waiting to be frosted and packaged. 

I'm not sure I'll even attempt 18 in one day again. I'm pretty exhausted.

Procrastinating: getting ready for the day. I'm covered in pumpkin and flour and have no motivation to do anything about it, but I have to go to dance class with Zoe at 4:00, and sometimes I need to prove to the other parents that I take care of myself. 

Loving: having all my kids in school. It's amazing. 

Worried about: anyone in my family getting COVID. We have so much going on right now, with so many people depending on us, and if we have to shut down for 2+ weeks, I don't know what we'll do. 

Eating: leftover crepes from Zoe's birthday yesterday. She wanted crepes instead of cake and ice cream (I'm always up for cake and ice cream alternatives). I made a quadruple batch of crepe batter, so we had quite a bit leftover, and I was able to make some for breakfast this morning, and there will be some left for dessert tonight, too. 

Struggling with: some muscle fatigue which I hope is due to overexertion and not the return of my mystery pain. Any time my muscles feel sore without an obvious cause, I get really scared. 

Feeling: distracted. I turn into Dug when I have a hefty to do list. 

Grateful for: my Bosch mixer. 

How to Eat Toast: A Tutorial for Moms

Step 1: Put two slices of bread in the toaster while you distribute Eggos to your children

Step 2: Take your toast out of the toaster

Step 3: Realize there is no soft butter

Step 4: Get butter out of fridge and microwave for 12 seconds 

Step 5: Pop toast back in toaster to warm up again

Step 6: Forfeit toaster access to replenish children’s Eggos

Step 7: Distribute second round of Eggos

Step 8: Put toast back in toaster

Step 9: Remove toast from toaster and apply butter

Step 10: Take a bite of toast

Step 11: Help your daughter comb her hair, inspect teeth brushing, respond to text message from child’s speech therapist, take a bathroom break, find a lost shoe, make 6 more Eggos, and take your pills while you’re thinking about it.

Step 12: Enjoy your cold toast

Welcome, November?

Hello, November. 

I'm normally a fan of November. I adore fall weather, pumpkin desserts, autumn scented candles, and Thanksgiving food. November is usually a relief; Halloween is over, the weather is cooler, and I can finally wear pants. 

Pants make me happy - enough so that I was once inspired to write a poetic tribute entitled, "Ode to Pants."

(Okay, that's not true. But I'll do it someday because I really love pants).

This year November is a bit sketchy. This will be one of the busiest months of my entire life. Could 2021 ruin November for me? Time will tell. It's only November 1st, and I already feel like I'm suffering from the worst Brain Fart of all time! 

November... what are you doing to me?

Blogging is probably the last thing I should be doing right now, but I'm giving myself a bit of relaxation time in between tasks today. I'll probably have to sneak in a nap, too, because I've been up since 4:00 this morning, and I can feel myself slipping into dysfunction. 

-----

Well, the napping happened sooner than I thought (i.e. as soon as I finished the sentence about probably needing a nap). I passed out on my bed and was rudely awoken by the chime of Alexa who suddenly decided she needed to give me book recommendations via Amazon. 

And of all things... Alexa recommended a book by Charlie Holmberg. Really, Alexa? You have direct access to my Audible and Kindle accounts which contain exactly zero YA fantasy, but you find it necessary to wake me up from my beautiful mid-morning nap while I'm in recovery from Halloween to suggest a book from one of my least favorite genres?

(It's nothing personal, Miss Holmberg. You have to understand Halloween was 176 days long, and I really needed that nap). 

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Here's how our 176 days of Halloween went...

Nicky wanted to be Caillou, so I had to make him a Caillou shirt and find him a hat. Everyone thought he was a Hot Dog on a Stick worker. Daisy wanted to be a golfer because she’s going through a visor phase. Zoe wanted to be a vampire princess. Eva picked a Bat Girl costume from Costco and actually followed through with wearing it (though she wore fewer and fewer pieces of the costume with each event). 

My mom's party was while we were in Disney World, so Scotty and I missed it, but our kids were there. They also went to a trunk or treat that weekend, and Nicky went to a Halloween dance and danced with a record breaking two girls. Then he informed me that he'd lost his deodorant at my mom's house and probably had terrible BO at the dance. Live and learn, son. Live and learn. 

We carved pumpkins for Family Home Evening on Monday. 

Each of my girls had a Halloween party in their dance classes last week. 

The elementary kids had a virtual parade and class parties on Friday. I volunteered in Eva's classroom. 

That morning before I went to the school, I hurried and put up our Halloween decorations, which I'd forgotten about. 

After school the girls went trick or treating at the assisted living center where my grandma is currently living. 

We had a trunk or treat with Zoe's cheer team and a trunk or treat for our ward on Friday night. At the last minute, I decided to make a "quick" painting of the hitchhiking ghosts from Haunted Mansion to hang on my trunk. My spontaneous ideas are never "quick."  

Zoe had a Halloween performance at a senior living center on Saturday with her cheer team. 

In the evening we went to two grandmas' houses and then trick or treating around the neighborhood. 

On Sunday, we went to two more grandmas' houses where we were fed lots of delicious food.

And then it was finally over, resulting in a high need for naps and an incredibly messy house. 

Welcome, November. Let the chaos continue, but let it no longer be Halloween.

How we all feel right now