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Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Things I Don't Love

During the more restricted part of the COVID pandemic, there was a post people were putting on social media that was something along the lines of "five things everyone likes that I hate." You know what I hate? Those posts! Every single one of them made me angry. I was annoyed that we were in the middle of medical, social, and economical turmoil, and people were posting lists online of things they hated.

My friends would be all, "I hate milk!" and I'd be all (in my head), "How dare you hate milk! Do you know how hard it was to buy milk back in March? How can you be anything less that grateful for milk! You should love milk. You should cherish milk!" 

And now, here we are over a year later, and I have all the milk I need and no longer feel so sensitive about a person's right to dislike things. I've crossed over due to hedonic adaptation and now have my own list of things to share. But to soften the blow, I'm choosing to use the term "do not love." I don't hate these things per se... I just "do not love" them... in a very strong way. 

Here are some things I don't love:

The sound of hiccups (they make me crazy, and I feel so bad because people really can't help it if they have the hiccups, and yet, they make we want to yell, "Stop it, YOU!")

Cutting hair (I almost went into the cosmetology program in high school - oh what a mistake that would have been! I do cut my family members' hair most of the time to save money, but I really don't like doing it and put it off as long as possible - hence the scraggly looking men in my household).

Putting toothpaste on toothbrushes (okay, I confess, I am that lazy. I hate do not love putting toothpaste on toothbrushes and have been known to purchase disposable pre-pasted brushes because that's how deep my feelings run. Sorry, Earth). 

Chopping cabbage (as recently discussed, cabbage never ends. It starts off fun, like, "Hey I'm chopping cabbage! Squeeeee!" and then twenty minutes later, it's like, "How am I still chopping cabbage? When will this torture end?")

Buying and squeezing lemons or limes 

Changing lightbulbs

Borrowing things from people (the only people I'm really comfortable borrowing stuff from are mine and Scotty's moms - whom we basically abuse. Everyone else, I do not love borrowing from. I will go buy stuff on my own rather than borrow it from someone).

Opening cream cheese (I know I'm not alone on this. Can I get a raise of hands? Yes, that's what I thought). 

"Punny" Halloween costumes (like the person who tapes a bunch of paint samples on themselves and says, "I'm fifty shades of gray!" Or the person in a shark costume with a calendar hanging from their chest who's all, "I'm shark week!" Yeah... I don't love that. It makes me do the Grumpy Cat face).

Food "bowls" - like a "burrito bowl" or an "egg roll bowl." Let's just stick with actual burritos and egg rolls, okay?

Capri Suns (first of all, the straw wrappers end up all over the place, then kids rarely ever finish drinking their Capri Suns, so you end up with undiscarded pouches of liquid laying about, and no one knows whose is whose). 

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

P.S. I love milk. 


1 comment:

  1. I'm procrastinating everything so be warned I'm over commenting.

    There was a girl in my college class that had chronic hiccups and would hiccup loudly at least once a class and the teacher said everytime, "EXCUSE YOU!" The teacher called so much attention to this poor soul... It was awful for all involved.

    When we make cheesecake ice cream, I have to open 25 cream cheeses at a time. I hate it and yell at Blake because he is convinced the big bricks aren't any easier to work with... It is a useful delusion as he doesn't want to admit he is dead wrong!

    The toothpaste thing... That's kind of weird 😉

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