Watching: I have one episode left of the BBC Les Miserables miniseries (I don't love it, sadly. But I'm not sure why). I'm also keeping current on A Million Little Things.
Listening to: The Moana soundtrack. It kept me company while cleaning out my pantry today. The other day, Shannon sent me a Marco Polo of her crying during Moana, and I realized I could use a good Moana-induced cry, too.
It worked.
It worked.
Eating: Queso blanco dip and butternut squash. A random lunch pairing that ended in a "win" in effort to clean out my fridge (but I really just wanted Chick-Fil-A because sometimes I really just need someone to hand me food through a window with very little effort on my part). Just to be clear, I didn't dip the squash in the queso blanco. They were two separate dishes enjoyed in one meal.
Buying: insulation for our basement. Scotty and I are making a date of it tonight. When you've been married for (almost) 17 years, and you have four kids, buying insulation suddenly becomes romantic.
We're also going to return a fridge to Sam's Club.
As our friend Mark would say, "Brown chicken brown cow!"
Singing: "How Far I'll Go"
Stressing about: the primary program, money (not the lack of it - just the wise spending of it. I'm having a consumer freak-out wherein I'm questioning every purchase I make, including the cilantro I spent fifty cents on a few days ago and never used. I feel like we should be able to live on our income, it just requires discipline, and I have none), Zoe's birthday this weekend, everything to do with my children's upbringing and education (particularly junior high), and Zoe's upcoming surgery.
Should I even mention that we are having family pictures done tomorrow? At this point I'm not stressing about them, but Scotty is convinced that I'll be a mess tomorrow. He's probably right. It doesn't help that I sandwiched the photos in between two birthday parties. Whenever I do things like that, I remember something from the internship I did for school: we commit our future selves to things that we can't handle because we think our future selves will be more capable.* I thought my future self would be okay hosting two parties and getting family pictures taken even though my present self wouldn't have taken that on. I'll let you know what happens when my future self becomes my past self and has the gift of hindsight.
Wearing: fleece lined leggings and a black hoodie. And yes, I have worn this same outfit three days in a row, thankyouverymuch.
Craving: three hours laying in bed under a heated blanket.
Feeling: out of my mind. I've had a week full of mental turmoil, and I feel crazy, overwhelmed, inadequate, and a little depressed.
Trying: to give myself a little bit of time to experiment with diet and exercise to manage my depression, but if I'm not feeling better within the next couple of weeks, I'm going to go back on my medication.
Annoyed by: my kids' messes. I'm always fighting the battle between keeping the house clean and letting my kids use their vast talents for creative projects. Right now my house is littered with cardboard boxes, globs of hot glue, markers, and googly eyes.
Grateful for: vacuums.
*I would provide you with a proper citation to some research on this, but I'm trying to finish up this post before I go get my kids from school. It's from Kelly McGonigal's willpower research.
Life occasionally feels totally overwhelming to me, too. Way more often than I like, unfortunately. *sigh* Life with children at home is inherently more stressful, I loved it and hated it at the same time. LOL ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to cope without medication as well; I hope I can do it. Even when I'm medicated it doesn't seem to help that much.