Kid Quotes

Here are some funny things my kids have said lately that I've jotted down. As always, I wish I could capture their voices - that makes all the difference! But I do what I can.

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Nicky: Mom, I saw on Instagram that DJ from Fuller House was at Disneyland today, and she was wearing a Gucci belt.

Me: How do you know her belt is Gucci?

Nicky: Because it has two G's on it.

(Then I had to google it because I don't know what the Gucci logo looks like, and sure enough, my 12-year-old son is correct).

(Also, Nicky does not have an IG account, but sometimes he gets on my phone and scrolls through mine. I follow @disneyland_celebs).

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Zoe: I kissed Quinn on the cheek at recess.

Me: You did? And what did Quinn do when you kissed him on the cheek?

Zoe: He fell on the ground and just laid there thinking about me.

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Zoe had to go to school late one day because she had a doctor's appointment.

Zoe: When I get to school, I'm going to tell my teacher that I was trapped in traffic.

Me: Or you can just tell her you had to go to the doctor.

Zoe: But I LOVE to lie!

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Me: What do you want people to say about you after you die?

Nicky: Oh no! Where will we get our eggs now?

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One day Eva kept going around saying, "My dad likes to choke people." I kept shushing her - unsure why she was saying that. Then I realized she was saying, "My dad likes to joke people." As in, play jokes on people.

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"Why do I have to have all the same problems you do? I'm like a boy version of you, and it's horrible!"

-Nicky

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"When are we going to get rid of Zoe?"

-Eva

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"I never have KHYFOOTY* problems at school, but I always have KHYFOOTY problems at home!"

-Zoe

*Keep your hands feet and other objects to yourself

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"Mom, that wobot is so wuuuude!"

(That robot is so rude!)

-Eva, talking about my GPS

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"I pee in beds."

-Eva

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"I am so beautiful that every boy in this world wants to kiss me!"

-Zoe, while looking at herself in the mirror

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"Tyler wants to marry me, but I want to marry Magnus, and I just don't know what to do!"

-Eva

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"This hotel has a continental breakfast. That means it's really bad breakfast, but it's okay because it's FREE!"

-Nicky

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Eva: Why do gwown-ups have to be so wuuuuuude?

Me: Oh no! What are the rude grown-ups doing this time?

Eva: They are telling us we can't watch YouTube.

(They = me / us = Eva)