Sometimes I get in a slump, and I put up some walls that prevent me from feeling connected to my Heavenly Father. A few weeks ago, I taught my Sunday school class about this. I shared this quote from Elder Scott:
The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit.
My Sunday school kids willingly ate jalepenos and grapes, which was awesome, but then one kid hit his head on the wall while trying to catch a grape in his mouth, and at that point, I'm pretty sure the significance of the activity was lost. I now tell that kid he can't catch food in his mouth unless he brings a helmet to class. But I digress.
Might I quietly confess that I suffer from a major case of Pride? (Don't tell anyone). My pride is such that the walls immediately come up in certain situations and among certain personalities resulting an an inability to feel the Spirit.
In recent weeks, I've had to really push through some of that spiritual numbness and try to reconnect with my Heavenly Father. In my efforts, I've been made very aware of a heap of blessings that have come my way.
Blessing #1: I made a new friend right when I needed one.
Blessing #2: We got a new truck moments before the catalytic converter in our car went kaput (unfortunately, our neighbor was borrowing our car when the check engine light came on).
Blessing #3: I asked Heavenly Father, in prayer, to send a peace offering from a person I have some problems with. Within days, that person said something that I consider a "white flag." I'm trying to rely on that to hold off my negative feelings for a while.
Blessing #4: My phone (a Blackberry - I'm old school) died on Saturday. I immediately saw dollar signs flash before my eyes accompanied by nausea from salesperson aversion. We ended up finding a FREE solution, and now I have an (old) iPhone, and my monthly payment will stay the same.
Blessing #5: Last week I found myself in the right place at the right time (specifically a bathroom that I NEVER use but randomly wandered into) and I was able to help someone with something sort of big. My baby pooped right then for a higher reason, I tell you!
Blessing #6: I haven't been able to study for school as much as I need to to get good grades, but last week I was able to get a decent grade on my test regardless. In making the decision to return to school, I am repeatedly reminded that if I put God and my family first, everything else will fall into place.
Blessing #7: I teach Sunday school to the 14-15 year olds. This class has been a struggle because there are some challenging personalities in the group. The last three Sundays, though, have gone extremely well, and we have had a lot of fun.
Blessing #8: I have been praying for Zoe to make some forward movement in her development. The other day she was at my mom's house, and she told my mom she needed to go potty. Then she actually went. She ended up peeing in the potty twice. I can't tell you how HUGE this is. The struggle with her in potty training (and many other various things) has been really hard on me, so I just need to know that it's not always going to be like this.
Blessing #9: I've mentioned that this semester of school is really tough (sorry I keep bringing that up, but seriously, it's wearing me out). There have been a few times, though, when portions of the reading from both of my classes have been the same. It is always a relief when something overlaps, and I can carry what I studied in one class over to the next class.
In summary, I have to say that I believe whole-heartedly in God and in His love for me. Despite my flaws. Despite my weaknesses. He's there, and He blesses me immensely.
Jut thought I'd put that here in writing for the next time I forget.
Hugs.
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