1. Run during sunrise or sunset as often as possible.
2. Run through the misery until you reach the point where you forget you're running. Then when you remember you're running, run home.
3. Don't try to punch the app lady in the face when she tells you your pace. She doesn't have a face.
4. Sneak something ridiculous into your playlist, like Tenacious D's "Wonderboy." Because there's something motivating about being able to kill a yak from 200 yards away... with mind bullets!
(That's telekinesis, Kyle!)
5. Sprint past the meat shop.
6. Memorize license plates and descriptions of everyone you pass in case you need to help track down a criminal later (the joys of living in a city with a bad rap).
6. Lay on your front lawn just long enough afterward that your neighbors wonder if someone passed out there in the night.
Two and three, man, two, and three.
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