The Chaperone Strikes Back

September Writing Challenge:

Opportunity

I’ve been to more high school dances as a parent than I ever went to as a teenager. Last weekend Scotty and I had the “opportunity” to chaperone our school’s homecoming dance (an “opportunity” I’ve had a few times in my old age). Here are some of my thoughts and observations after partaking of this wonderful experience:

A lot of the songs the kids get excited about are from the early 2000’s - in other words, my era. I laugh because they think they own those songs, and they give no acknowledgement to the fact that their parents listened to the same music when we were their age. 

They sing and shout weird things I don’t understand.

Most of the kids walked into the dance, down the stairs, and straight out into the courtyard (outside of the dance). Then they would come running inside when they'd hear one of "their songs."

School dances (at least where we live) are more like clubbing than dances of yesteryear. All of the songs run together, and there are no slow songs. 

We watched a group of girls sit at a picnic table and take selfies all night. They did nothing at the dance except try to take pictures that made it look like they did something.

I am an old lady of fragile hearing.

Ibuprofen is a must for chaperoning school dances.

This dance was so dark! You couldn't see a thing! I think they needed to turn more lights on. Reasons:

1. So the clothes can be somewhat seen (what a waste of a cute homecoming dress!)

2. Kids kept tripping on the stairs

3. Photos

4. So the kids can find their friends

5. Safety all around 

There is no point in decorating. The decorations were destroyed within 15 minutes (partially because it was so dark that the kids kept falling down the stairs and taking the decorations with them).

Two hours is plenty! Now everybody go home!

- The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion Vol. 2

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It would probably be suitable to post a picture of Daisy in her dress or with her date, but I didn’t take any photos! Mom fail! I’m relying on another mom to hook me up. 

As recompense, here is a photo of Scotty and me at prom in 2000 (I was a sophomore, and he was already graduated - the scandal!)

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Other posts I’ve written about school dances:

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (special high school dance chaperoning edition)

Prom Things

Victory

September Writing Challenge - Prompt 28:

Winning

Every September when I do this writing challenge I start off with a stock pile of posts. I always have some written and ready to go before September even starts. Then, at some point, it catches up to me. That happened a few days ago, so now I’ve slowed down. This is just how it goes.

It’s crazy to me that September is almost over! It flew by. 

I’m going through a bit of a negative patch right now. I carry a lot of anger, and sometimes it gets the best of me. I don’t know what to do with it. When I feel this way, blogging isn’t the best way to release my thoughts. I have several drafted posts that make me sound like a miserable human being. That’s not what I intend to sound like (I hope I’m not a miserable human being, but maybe I am!)

So today, let me make a positive impression and tell you a few ways I am winning in this moment:

I have eaten 30 grams of fiber a day for the past five days (WIN!)

My favorite pants are clean - I just need to find them (WIN!)

Tomorrow might be cool enough for me to actually wear pants and only sweat a little bit instead of a lot (WIN!)

I read the Relief Society lesson for today (and then subbed in nursery) (WIN!)

Oh! And I went to church even though I really didn’t want to (WIN!)

I did tons of food prep this morning that should make it easy to eat fruits and veggies this week (WIN!)

I packed awesome lunches for my girls for tomorrow (WIN!)

We are getting new counter tops (WIN!) 

I am loving our new fridge (WIN!)

(Please note that making decisions like what fridge to buy and what kind of countertops to get is extremely intimidating, so the fact that I have chosen these things is a big deal). 

I decorated for Halloween, but first I went through all of my decorations and got rid of everything that doesn’t spark joy or that I don’t have a place to put (WIN!)

I put a new loofah in the shower (WIN!)

I cut Scotty’s hair over the weekend (WIN!)

I didn’t eat breakfast from McDonald’s at all last week (I didn’t even use my weekly $2 breakfast sandwich!) (WIN?)

I finished a couple of books last week and updated my holds in the Libby app (WIN!)

I topped off my gas tank, and the gas light wasn’t even on (WIN!)

Am I angry? Yes. But am I winning? Also yes.

(No obligatory photo today. I’m not winning at that). 

A Tisket, A Tasket

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #10:

Basket

I have no idea where I came up with the idea to put "basket" on my list of writing prompts, but I did it! Now that I'm pondering on what the heck I'm supposed to write about baskets, I'm realizing two things:

Thing 1: I have a lot of baskets. 

Thing 2: I do appreciate a good basket. 

Here's how baskets are serving me in life:

Place mats

I have a round basket with place mats in it on my kitchen table. Our table gets burn marks easily from hot food on plates, so I got some place mats to prevent more damage.

Shoes

We have a shoe basket by our backdoor because we absolutely stink at putting our shoes away.

Blankets

There's a basket of blankets in the family room for TV watching. 

Gifts

I have a basket of gift items in the storage room so if my kids get invited to a last minute birthday party or if I find a good deal on gift that I want to put away for holidays, they have somewhere to go. 

Socks

This might be the one that makes you think I'm weird, but we have four females in this house, and we can't keep our socks straight. I got so sick of keeping track of everyone's socks that I decided we'd just share. All the girl socks go into one big basket under my vanity in my bedroom. 

I've tried putting initials on them (they fade), I've tried buying everyone their own "type" of sock (I can't keep track of who has which kind), and I (still) make them do their own laundry, which would lead you to believe that their socks stay in their own loads of laundry, but it doesn't happen! Everyone's socks end up all mixed up still, so I just throw all of them in the sock basket. I buy us all the same kind of socks, and we share. 

Books

I have a basket on the bookshelf specifically for library books and books that we are currently reading so they are easy to find.

Products

There's a basket on my vanity with hair stuff, lotion, and other toiletries.

Snacks

We have two designated "snack" baskets - one in the pantry and one in the storage room. Anything in the snack baskets is up for grabs if you're hungry or packing a lunch. 

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I also have baskets under sinks, baskets in my van, and baskets in all my cupboards. The one thing I don't have baskets for... laundry. I don't use traditional laundry baskets! I use collapsible canvas hampers.  

But I still call them "baskets."

Somebody

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #30:

Somebody 

Somebody got roses from her best friend on her birthday and is letting them die on my kitchen table. 

It was Daisy

Somebody left their lobster flops on the kitchen floor. 

It was Zoe

Somebody made cute flower cupcakes last night. 

It was Zoe

Somebody made banana muffins and pumpkin muffins today (and now there are a lot of dirty muffin tins in the house). 

It was me

Somebody likes to eat Ruffles chips dipped in Chick-Fil-A sauce.

It's Eva

Somebody found Ben & Jerry's marked down for $1.80 at Smith's this morning.

It was me

Living My Best Van Life

September Writing Challenge: Prompt #13:

In My Car

I’ve been a van driver for about 13 years now. I’m on my third one. I love my van! I have always loved vans! As a child, I couldn’t have told you what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I knew I wanted a van. 

We got our first van when Zoe was about five months old. Having three kids side by side in car seats on a single row is possible but not ideal, especially when a jealous sibling likes to cover the baby’s mouth and nose with her hand while you drive. Thus, we made the upgrade to a van. The first thing I immediately loved about our van was the sliding doors. No more parking lot door dings! Glory hallelujah! 

I love being able to fit extra kids. I love being able to haul lots of things. I love that I can store items in the floor. I love the trunk space. I love that the seats can fold down. I love being able to strap things to my roof. I love that I can push buttons, and the doors will open. 

Having a van is amazing, and no one can convince me otherwise. 

Maybe I’ll drive something else after my kids are all out of the house (vintage Bronco, please), but for now, I’m all about the van! 

As far as what’s in my van - well, only the most amazing stash of anything you may need (Scissors? Yes. Makeup? Yes. Soduku book? Yes. Tweezers? Double yes). But also, my dash board friends:

Steve, Eleven, Dustin, and Marty McFly

My Day Off

September Writing Challenge: Prompt #35:

Day Off

I work part-time, and yesterday was my day off. Since returning to work, I have learned to appreciate a day off and use it to the best of my ability. That doesn’t mean every day off is productive, but many of them are. I’ve also been known to schedule in some “me” activities such as hair appointments and lunches with friends. I usually keep a running list of things I need to get done on my days off, too. 

Here’s how I spent my day off yesterday:

I slept in until 6:45. Then I got up and made French toast sticks for my girls for breakfast in the air fryer. I dropped Zoe and Eva off at school, and then I snuck to McDonald’s to use my two dollar breakfast sandwich reward for the week.

I came home for an hour and tidied up the kitchen and updated our budget. Then I went and met my friend to go walking for about an hour. We shared the woes of aging and raising teenagers.

 Morning text from Daisy

From there, I went directly to Sam’s Club, where I suffered an unfortunate chafing situation as a result of walking, sweating, and staying in the same clothes. I picked up my neuropathy prescription and spent a large sum of money. Not on the prescription. That was actually cheap ($1.52). 

I had enough rewards in the Chick-fil-A app to get some free lunch, so I hit the drive thru. The drink was terrible, so on my way home I stopped at McDonald’s for a better drink! Hopefully nobody is keeping track of my eating out habits.

I ate my fries in the parking lot because I wanted them hot, but I was OK taking my chicken sandwich home to eat later. 

I took a shower and then played a round of ArkNova in my bathrobe. Then I set my alarm clock and let myself take a 20 minute nap with my hair wrapped in a towel.

When I woke up, I tried on some new clothes I bought from Sam’s Club, then I blow dried and styled my hair and got dressed. This was around 2:00 PM, and I didn’t really have any reason to do my hair and get ready, but I bought new hair products earlier in the week and I wanted to give them a try.

At 2:40 I headed over to the junior high to pick up my girls. They wanted to stop by my mom‘s house to steal drinks from her fridge, so I took them over there and they raided her stash. Then we came home and I discovered that my hair had already gone flat! I was not happy about that. Darn you, Paul Mitchell!

I facilitated afternoon chores and headed out to the garden to dig up some veggies. I was making a 9x13 tinfoil dinner, so I dug up some potatoes, carrots, and onions. Then I came inside and got dinner prepped. Every time I make a tinfoil dinner the veggies never get done, so I started it in what I thought was plenty of time so the veggies would be tender before Eva went to dance class. Two hours later, the veggies were still quite crisp, and I ended up having to feed Eva some leftovers from a few nights ago. I left the dinner cooking, and took Eva to dance class thinking dinner would finally be ready by the time I got back home. It was not. We ended up eating slightly hard veggies, and then I put the rest back in the oven to cook even longer. 

While Eva was at dance class, Daisy and Zoe went to their young women activity at the church. I cleaned up dinner and packed lunches. I also took out a little bit of garbage for garbage day. I tidied up a few things around the house and proofread an essay for Daisy. I snuck in a few minutes of TV and another round of ArkNova as well as a few rounds of Crossplay. 

I also lifted weights, put away some stuff I bought from Sam’s Club, and cleaned a few things up in the bathroom. 

I put my clothes out for the next day, got all the children in bed, and wrote this blog post. 

Where was Scotty while all of this was happening? In Vietnam. So my day off was much needed.

Waiting For Me

September Writing Challenge: Prompt #12:

On My Nightstand

In addition to:

My CPAP machine

A frog bank

A bottle of water

My CPAP scrunchie (I have to put my hair up to wear my mask)

Four bottles of lotion

The remote control

A projection alarm clock that Amber and I insisted on having

A lamp

and a caffeine free Diet Dr. Pepper (which I occasionally find at Smith’s, should you be curious)

I have two very important things waiting for me…

Made by Zoe

Because sometimes at 9:06 pm, you need two cookies and a big dose of TV. 

Let It Be Known

September Writing Challenge: Prompt #8:

Let It Be Known

Let it be known... that I’m starting to get old and loud. Daisy always tells me how loud I am when I say something embarrassing. This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I swear I’m speaking discreetly!

Let it be known... that I found out recently that I’m older than the Vice President of the USA. 

(My friend Julie says wait until you’re older than an apostle! That doesn’t really happen, does it?)

Let it be known... that the other day I went up to my room and found this:

Courtesy of Eva

Eva had to write a letter to the president in school last year, and he sent back a (mass produced) response and a photo of himself. 

Yes, this is the photo that he chooses to send the children. 

Let it be known... that social media is now full-on mocking the neutral colors (primarily gray) home trend of the 2010's. As I get older, I'm getting more and more annoyed by the existence of trends. I wish we all did what we truly liked. How interesting would it be if we stripped away popularity and fads and everyone dressed/decorated/ate how they really wanted to? 

The thing is, I loved the neutral trend! I could change color schemes so easy with pillows, a rug, or shelf decor without changing the entire room. If I was loving green for a season, I could add green! If I was loving pink, I could add pink! All of my holiday decor worked. Fall had orange accents. Christmas had red accents. And I never had to try and make it work with a blue wall or green carpet. 

Why are we mocking it? It was genius!

Let it be known... that if zombies were real I would just be one. I watch all these folks on TV working so hard to not become zombies, and I'm like why? Just bite me. I'm too lazy to stay human. Becoming a zombie would eliminate all levels of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and I could just hunt, kill, and infect the remaining humans to make their lives as easy as mine. 

Let it be known... that corn on the cob should be eaten with the tiny end to the left, moving from left to right like you're reading a book. 

Also let it be known that corn on the cob is one of the best things to eat on this earth (but I have opinions about the kind of corn and when it should be picked - very young, sweet corn is my preference). 

Let it be known... that I've decided instead of saying something specific about a person, my way of indicating that I am not a fan will be to declare, "I would not be willing to write their obituary." 

Let it be known... that Daisy turned 17 yesterday. 

Say What?

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #16:

Words

Sometimes I get so annoyed with modern-day vernacular. When I listen to my kids talk, I can't help but wonder if I used to sound like that to my parents. The first words I remember hearing out of my kids' mouths that made me go, "What the heck is happening here?" were things like “cray,” "sus," "gyatt," and "cringe."

I didn't think "gyatt" was a real thing. When Daisy threw that out one day at twelve years old, I responded with, "What are you even saying? That's not a word!" I thought someone at school just made it up and convinced her to say it.

Now it's "buns" this, "peak" that," and "lowkey" everything. It's amazing how unintelligent it all sounds to my elderly ears, but I have to acknowledge all the things that sound normal to me that were actually slang from my growing years. Here are some words and phrases that I thought of that have become popular/common during my lifetime. Some are no longer used but others are still going strong:

The naughty words: pissed, sucks, and blows. 

The filler words: totally, honestly, legit, literally, and like. 

Examples: "I totally/honestly/legit/literally got lost in the mall. Like, I'm not even kidding!"

Nowadays this is where the kids say "low key." See? "I low-key got lost in the mall. I'm low-key not even kidding!"

Words that have changed meaning: gay, queer, bad, and sick.

I used to go around in elementary school calling people queer. To me, it meant peculiar. When people started telling me otherwise, I tried to single-handedly prevent the word from adapting. It turns out, I have no such power (though I still try to this day to control what words mean). 

Just the other day, it dawned on me that if I were to mention "having beef" with someone in front of my grandparents, they would probably think I was going to Burger King with a friend. 

Exclamatory phrases: "My bad!" "Oh, snap!" 

Remember "booyah, “as if,” and "moded?" (may they rest in peace). 

And let us not forget how many of us ran around saying "Cowabunga!" and "Eat my shorts!"

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Someday my kids will have to listen to their kids' weird words and that'll low key be da bomb. Fo shizzle. 

Sunday Sentiments - Updates From PR

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #31:

On a Mission

Fourteen months down. Ten to go.

The Bad Bunny gas station

Nicky left Antigua and returned to Puerto Rico in June. He's been serving as a zone leader for a few transfers. He's currently training for the first time. He was recently whitewashed into a new area, and it has been a bit rough. 

A new mission president arrived in July. He has an entirely different personality and approach than the previous one (the old one was definitely not my style of leader).

Nicky and his companion got hammocks and have a nice set up in the carport of their house where they hang out and study. 

They live close to a Sam's Club, and that's a nice place to be for hungry missionaries! (I miss cooking for this kid so much!)

Trainer and trainee

They had a drought in San Juan last month and were at risk for losing access to water, but everything worked out okay. They were prepared just in case. It has been raining more lately. 

Stocking up on water

Nicky gets caught in the rain a lot. It was actually pretty surprising to hear that they were having a drought because it seems to rain every day there. 

Caught in the rain on p-day

Puerto Rico continues to be an awesome place to serve because it has a foreign feel, but it still has a lot of the comforts of the continental United States. You can eat locally grown avocados and rice and beans one minute and a Sam's Club hot dog the next! Nicky has been to Texas Roadhouse (which he says is pretty close to the same) and Sizzler (which he says is not the same). Their McDonald's menu is a little different but still has a lot of the same stuff. They have some of the fast food chains we have here with slight changes. 

Puerto Rican food

They have beaches, rainforest, and city. There are a lot of places to explore on p-day, and Nicky loves that!

He is always finding animals and meeting the most interesting people. He also finds a lot of license plates and has quite the collection to bring home. 

They have huge freaky crabs there

Random guy that wanted a picture with the missionaries on the beach

There are abandoned cars everywhere

The mission is hard - he tells us so - but he also really loves it. 

I can't believe we are on the downhill side of it! Nicky says it's so weird to be one of the "old" missionaries now. 

Keep Calm and Chaos On

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #32:

Chaos

So far this school year I haven’t been able to get our mornings under control. 

I can’t seem to wake up on time. It’s funny that I went to work at 5 a.m. all summer long with no problem, but I can’t manage to get my tuchus out of bed by 6:30 now that my kids are back in school. 

I have to leave earlier this year to take kids to school because Zoe has dance practice. It’s only 10 minutes difference, but I am always scrambling to get out the door.

Eva is in junior high now and has to be ready at the same time as Zoe, and she is NOT having it. Every morning she has a mega mood swing, and she’s doing the whole anxiety-fueled “my tummy hurts” thing when she goes to bed at night and when she wakes up on school mornings. She can never find her shoes. Someone (never her) is always putting her shoes somewhere, and no, she can’t wear a different pair because (insert absurd reason here).

I am rarely ready for the day when it’s time to leave. I can come back home and finish getting ready before I go to work if I need to, but ideally I will go to work straight from school drop off. 

Almost every day as I pull away from the school, I either need to cry, swear, or eat my emotions. Often all three. 

Every night I make a game plan for the next morning so things will go better, and every morning ends up feeling chaotic.

Wednesday morning, for example, I was cooking runny eggs when I realized I hadn’t seen Eva at all. Daisy went and checked to see if she was up, and she was sound asleep. This was ten minutes before we needed to leave (she had turned her alarm off).

I forced Eva out of bed, and told her to hit the ground running. I told her I would have breakfast ready for her to eat in the car.

I still needed to finish drying and styling my hair. Yup. Ten minutes left.

(Please note that I was asked for McDonald’s no fewer than eight times including while I was cooking).

The eggs stuck to the pan. Somehow in the past six months I’ve lost my ability to cook over easy eggs. I even have a trusty hack that I used for years without fail that no longer works for me! I now have no confidence when cooking eggs. No wonder they want McDonald's! So do I!

I did the best I could to finish getting ready so I could go to the store straight from the school (it was my day off, and I had big plans!) 

I finally got the girls to school, and Eva dropped her water bottle which A) was not closed all the way so half her water spilled out and B) rolled under the van. 

After the girls headed into school, I drove to Smith’s. As I pulled in my parking spot, the sun was in my eyes, and I didn’t see that my spot had a concrete planter in it. I pulled in too far, and CRUNCH! Was I Marco Poloing a friend at the time? Maybe (if I was, it was hands free, I promise). Did I yell shit into the phone? Maybe.

At the store I bought three boxes of a Dip n Dots-style ice cream on markdown. I thought my girls would be so happy! When I got home, I unpacked them all and found that the tops had lifted off some of the containers, and the treats inside had obviously melted and refrozen into giant blobs. Hmmm. Probably why they were so cheap. 

I threw them all away!

I decided to pack my kids’ lunches for the next day to help me feel like some part of my life was under control. I had some Kings Hawaiian rolls that needed to be used up, so I made tiny sandwiches. While the tops were still off, somehow I knocked the cutting board with all seven sandwiches off the counter, and every single piece of bread, cheese, and meat flew out of place and landed on the floor. 

At that point, it was about 10:00 a.m, and I decided the best thing I could do was to sit on the couch and hold still until it was time to meet some friends for lunch. Thank heavens I had the foresight the night before that I would need a lunch date!

Now, after a few days of weekending, I can do it all over again! 

A Pretty Weird Year

September Writing Challenge - Prompt # 29:

Outside

We've been slowly retiring our garden boxes for the end of the season. Every week we pull a few plants and cut the water to a section of the garden. Each year we have some successes and some failures. 

Successes this year: 

Cucumbers

Tomatoes (celebrities)

Peppers

Sage

Basil

Potatoes

Onions

Carrots

Summer squash

Zinnias

Marigolds (yellow)

Failures this year:

Corn

Pumpkins

Melons

Cilantro

Marigolds (orange)

Tomatoes (romas)

After four years, we still have a mint problem. I pull it and spray it multiple times each year, and it just keeps coming back. It also pops up thirty feet away! It smells amazing, but I need it to die! We have accidentally been very successful at growing mint. 

This year we redid our strawberry box, so we didn't have a good strawberry crop, but next year we might! I can't really consider this a success or a failure. It's just something that needed to be done. 

The potato bugs continued to be a problem for the entire season. I eventually started using Diatomaceous Earth, and I think it helped, but in order for it to be effective, I probably need to sprinkle it on every-other day, and I only did it about every two weeks. 

Here are some photos of how our garden progressed. Only 3.5 garden boxes fit in the photo from this angle, but we have seven. 

May:

June:

July:

I would have loved to get a photo in August, but I went out there one day, and 75% of the garden was dead! So I said, "Well, I guess you're done. Thanks a lot, pal."

Now we have herbs, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, carrots, and onions remaining. Even though we are bad at growing corn, I usually at least get a few weak cornstalks to decorate with, but they all broke in half in the wind. There are also no pumpkins because they all ripened too early and rotted out before we even made it to September!

It was a pretty weird gardening year, but that seems to be true of every year. What can I say? I'm a pretty weird gardener. 

Things the Kids Say: Episode 42

September Writing Challenge  - Prompt #21:*

And I Quote

Eva: Let’s stop fighting before mom calls us little ‘S’ words.

Zoe: And she will… because we are!

—————

"Where did you get those Sephora plates?"

-Eva, who shouldn’t even know what Sephora is

—————

“Sometimes I do stuff and think ‘Oh no, I’m turning into Dad!’”

-Daisy

—————

Eva: What time is it?

Me: 7:42

Eva: Are you serious? It feels like 8!

—————

“If you ask me anything about baking, like how many quarts are in a jug, I have no idea, but I know that 11 yards is 33 feet.”

-Daisy

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Daisy: Did you know that there's a language where the same word is used for 'father' and 'brother?'

Me: What language is that?

Daisy: I dunno, Bro. Like Roman or Egyptianese or something. 

*Nobody's going to notice that I used this prompt twice, right?

Important... or Not

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #s 18 & 27:*

Important/Not Important

I often express that parenting feels like a big experiment. We just try our best and see what happens. Everyone does it so differently, too, so it's easy to see what others are doing and wonder if you're getting it wrong. I often have to remember that it's not always a matter of right or wrong. Sometimes we just do it differently, and that's okay! I'm responsible for my circus, and my monkeys. In the experimental way that Scotty and I choose to parent, here are some things that have become important and not important in the way we are raising our kids:

(Prepare yourself, you may be horrified!)

Gratitude = Important

Important:

Being mindful of other people

Giving a good effort

Mental health

Thanking people and being grateful for what you have 

Honoring commitments/being reliable/doing your part

Developing good character

Being on time

Budgeting

Learning to pray about things and recognize and act by the Spirit

Adapting when things don't go the way you expect

Family trips & activities

Eating breakfast 

Doing your own laundry

Positive body image 

Pool/water safety 

Being comfortable coming to Mom & Dad

Keeping things "15 minutes from clean" 

Obeying laws pertaining to drivers licenses  

Pronouncing words correctly 

Being comfortable owning your mistakes 

Trying the Disneyland ride once per visit even though you hated it last time because you might like it now that you're older (Dad's rule) 

 

Not Important:

Straight A's

Perfect attendance

Making beds

Walls 

Mating socks

Taking off shoes in the house

Sports

Earning college credit

Having the latest and greatest of everything

Separating light and dark laundry

Drinking your cereal milk 

Keeping the house pristine ("15 minutes from clean" is my standard as stated above) 

Having styled hair (I'd be happy if you brushed it, though) 

Mixed Play Doh

Not eating before the prayer has been said 

Finishing chores before you can play 

Drinking your cereal milk = Not Important

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Some of the things on my "not important" list used to be "important," but over time, I've made adjustments. "Choosing your battles" is no joke! Just because it's on the "important" list doesn't mean we're good at it (but we'd like to be!) And some things that aren't important in our family could probably use an explanation. For example, even though sports are not "important" to us, if our children want to play a sport, we'll support them. It's just not a priority for us as parents to have our children participate in sports. In fact, we have really loved having our Saturdays free to do family activities. Also, our kids get so few social invitations that when someone asks one of our children to play, we will drop everything to let it happen. There are exceptions, but most of the time, if their chores aren't done, oh well! Please go play! The dishes will still be here when you get back. I'll report back in twenty years and let you know if that was a bad choice. In the meantime, the experiment continues!

*I didn't realize I had added both of these prompts to my list until I was looking over it a few days ago. I also have "priority" and "focus" on the list, so maybe that's a sign I need to realign my values. 

Quirky No Question

September Writing Challenge - Prompt # 19:

Quirky

We’re all a little quirky, right? Some quirks can be frustrating but some are endearing. I think it's important to be able to recognize and laugh at some of our own quirks and embrace the quirkiness in others. Here are some of the ways we are quirky at the Brittish household:

My fly is not down, despite how it looks

(Just one of my quirks)

Scotty:

1. Is obsessed with maps. He looks at maps all day long, and I don’t think an hour goes by where he doesn’t open some kind of map app on his phone unless he’s asleep. But even then, I bet he wakes up in the middle of the night and looks at maps a few times a week.

2. Wiggles his feet when he’s tired.

3. Whistles all the time. The alternative to whistling is making a “Tsh, tsh, tsh” noise, and if we are somewhere he absolutely can’t make noise, he wiggles. 

4. Likes to stick a frayed shoelace in his ear and twist it around. For our entire marriage he has kept an old shoelace near his bed for ear tickling, and if he can’t find it, he gets quite distressed. 

5. Clips his toenails outside. Usually on the front porch. I hope the Amazon folks don’t find the clippings.

Nicky: 

1. Finds stuff everywhere he goes. This was true in childhood and now as a developing grown up. One time our friend Chad lost his wedding ring in a lake. We joked that Nicky could find it, and it took him less than ten seconds to surface with the ring in hand. 

2. Has sideways toes. 

3. Is really good at holding still because he was cast as a character in a play that turned into a statue, and he had to hold still for a really long time. Sometimes on our video chats, he will act like he’s frozen, and we honestly can’t tell if he’s faking or if he truly lost cell service. 

4. Doesn't like new stuff. He will wear a pit-stained shirt he found on the side of the road any day over a new shirt from the store. I have to remind him to replace things like toothbrushes once in a while. 

Daisy:

1. Used to use a sleeping mask every night but insisted on having a night light.

2. Has psychosomatic symptoms as soon as she is asked to do any kind of chore.  

3. Has a a creepy sounding pop in her shoulder. 

Zoe: 

1. Doesn’t like to touch wood. She has a hard time with picnic tables, wooden playsets, etc. 

2. Doesn’t like cheese. 

3. Can spread her toes apart like jazz hands. 

4. Does a really accurate (and annoying) impersonation of a turkey. 

5. Cries when we get new things - like a couch or a car. She doesn't like change. 

Eva: 

1. Has a crush on Jack Black. 

2. Loves to roll her eyes back in her head and pull a creepy face. It's rare to get a nice photo of her. 

3. Likes getting shots at the doctor’s office and often asks if she can get "another one.”

And then there’s me. I:

1. Need to stretch my nostrils sometimes. 

2. Do not like sea creatures. I find starfish repulsive. Touch pools are my worst nightmare. 

3. Hate cornhole and BINGO (and many other activities, but I'll keep the list short so I don't sound like a terrible person). 

4. Love the smell of Cabbage Patch dolls and would love to just hold a fresh one to my nose and sniff it all day. 

5. Like to chew on the plastic part of clothing tags and even broke my front tooth from it. 

Sunday Sentiments - Messages of Love

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #9:

On That Topic

For the past year or so, I’ve been hoping that Daisy will want to get her patriarchal blessing. It’s up to her, and when she feels the time is right, I’m ready to support her. Since I have children who are in the phase of life where they might want to receive their patriarchal blessings, it’s a topic that I have studied a lot lately. Patriarchal blessings are a passionate subject for me because my great-grandpa and my grandpa were both patriarchs. 

In aiming to teach my kids about patriarchal blessings, I made a Q&A sheet a while ago where I compiled some of what I thought was the most useful information about patriarchal blessings. I realize that it’s something AI could have done, but I still like to use my brain and reap the benefits of personal study. Also, I know that it’s correct because I know exactly where everything came from (I’m going to add that information at the end of this post). 

So for the past year or so, I’ve thoroughly studied the topic of patriarchal blessings, but I haven’t studied my patriarchal blessing. It’s been a while since I read mine (maybe even a few years), and I think that’s okay. Sometimes you need to let it “get cold.”

Last week, a line from my blessing came to mind, and I knew it was time to review it, particularly that part. Yesterday I read through my blessing, and it was the perfect time. Most of my blessing I pretty much know by heart, but every now and then I come across a part I’ve forgotten or a part that has new meaning now that I’ve had more life experience. My blessing is pretty cool, and the person the words talk about is pretty cool, which means I have the potential to be pretty cool, but I’m not quite there yet.

As I read my blessing, I was reminded of a talk from a BYU devotional titled, “A Patriarchal Blessing: A Message of Identity, Promise, and Love” by Robert S. Patterson. When I first read that talk, I decided to go through my patriarchal blessing and look for:

1. Messages of love

2. Messages of promise

3. Messages of identity

I wrote it all down… somewhere… and I know I found some really good gems. I’d like to do it again, though. Forty-two year old Britt could use a refresher. 

Here’s something I’ve never really latched on to regarding patriarchal blessings, that I’m just now starting to pick up on. If you were to ask me what the purpose of a patriarchal blessing is, I would probably say to receive revelation pertaining to your life and your purpose and to learn your lineage in the House of Israel. 

My emphasis would mostly be on the blessing’s role in offering you personalized guidance and caution and helping you understand who you are. Those things are all true, however, what I’ve never focused on is the role of a patriarchal blessing in showing us that God loves us. I’ve acknowledged that patriarchal blessings show us that God knows us, but I haven’t really focused on the love part. 

Brother Patterson stated, “Patriarchal blessings are communications given to us as personal revelations from God. These few words, recorded on perhaps a page or more, are remarkable. Their prophetic utterances have great power. They speak to our uncertainties, our abilities, our gifts, our life’s experiences—all in the interest of assuring us of God’s love and of His willingness to help us face the challenges and trials of our lives and to sustain us safely through what we must face.

…these blessings are a testament of God’s love for each of His children. They reveal the uniqueness of each of us, and they highlight the fact that God sees in us what we do not see in one another or in ourselves.”

Additionally, Gospel Topics states that, “A patriarchal blessing is an expression of Heavenly Father’s love for each of His children. It is evidence that He knows us personally.”

This gives me a new lens through which to look at my blessing, so when I read it next, I will look for those three messages mentioned by Brother Patterson, but I will pay particular attention to messages of love. 

——

More information about patriarchal blessings:

What is a patriarchal blessing?

• A patriarchal blessing is an individualized priesthood blessing received from an ordained and authorized patriarch by the laying on of hands.

What are the purposes of a patriarchal blessing?

• To declare your lineage in the House of Israel

• Israel is the special name that the Lord gave to Jacob. Jacob is the son of Isaac and grandson of Abraham. The name Israel can refer specifically to Jacob, to his descendants, or to the kingdom of those descendants. The twelve tribes of Israel are descended from Jacob’s sons and grandsons.

• A patriarchal blessing is an expression of Heavenly Father’s love for each of His children. It is evidence that He knows us personally.

• A patriarchal blessing may contain cautions, counsel, and promises unique to you. This inspired blessing can be considered personal scripture for the recipient and can help you understand your potential and possibilities. It can also provide peace and hope in times of difficulty and uncertainty.

What is the declaration of lineage?

• Your blessings will state which tribe of Israel you will inherit the promises to Abraham through 

• This may be a literal line of lineage or a line of spiritual adoption 

• Abraham made covenants with God when he received the gospel, when he was ordained a high priest, and when he entered into celestial marriage. In these covenants, God promised great blessings to Abraham and his family. These blessings, which extend to all of Abraham’s seed, are called the Abrahamic covenant.

• Promises God made to Abraham (the “Abrahamic Covenant”):

• His posterity would be numerous.

• His seed, or descendants, would receive the gospel and bear the priesthood.

• Through the ministry of his seed, “all the families of the earth [would] be blessed, even with the blessings of the Gospel, which are the blessings of salvation, even of life eternal.”

• “In the great majority of cases, Latter-day Saints are of the tribe of Ephraim, the tribe to which has been committed the leadership of the Latter-day work. Whether this lineage is of blood or adoption does not matter” (Boyd K. Packer).

• “Since there are many bloodlines running in each of us, two members of one family might be declared as being of different tribes in Israel” (Boyd K. Packer).

When am I ready to receive a patriarchal blessing?

• Prayerfully seek to know when you are ready 

• There is no minimum or maximum age to receive a patriarchal blessing

• When you are spiritually prepared and mature enough to understand its significance, you may be ready to receive your blessing

What is the process of receiving a patriarchal blessing?

• You will need to meet with your bishop or an assigned counselor in the bishopric

• They will help you decide if you’re ready and worthy to receive the blessing 

• They will prepare a Patriarchal Blessing Recommend 

• Make the appointment with the stake patriarch

• Wear Sunday dress to your blessing appointment 

• You may fast prior to receiving your blessing, but this is not required 

• Patriarchal blessings are personal. You may invite a few close loved ones (parents are a common choice) to attend your blessing

• The patriarch may counsel with you before he gives you your blessing

• The blessing is recorded and transcribed (typed)

• You will be given a copy of your blessing and it will be be preserved in the Church records 

What do I do with my blessing once I’ve had it?

• Read your blessing regularly. Treasure the words, ponder them, and try to live worthy of the promises within

• Patriarchal blessings are sacred

• The blessing should not be shared publicly or compared to others’

• You may share your blessing with close family members if you desire to do so

• “A patriarchal blessing is not going to map out your life or answer all your questions. If it doesn’t mention an important life event, do not take that to mean you won’t have that opportunity. Likewise, there is no guarantee everything in your blessing will come to pass in this life. A patriarchal blessing is eternal, and if you live worthy, promises that are not fulfilled in this life will be granted in the next” (Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita).

• President Dallin H. Oaks declared that a patriarchal blessing “is given under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and should be read and interpreted under the influence of that same Spirit. The meaning and significance of a patriarchal blessing will be taught line upon line in the course of time by the power of the same Spirit that inspired [it].”

• “Your patriarchal blessing is yours and yours alone. It may be brief or lengthy, simple or profound. Length and language do not a patriarchal blessing make. It is the Spirit that conveys the true meaning. Your blessing is not to be folded neatly and tucked away. It is not to be framed or published. Rather, it is to be read. It is to be loved. It is to be followed. Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night. It will guide you through life’s dangers” (Thomas S. Monson). 

Sources:

General Handbook 18.17 18. Performing Priesthood Ordinances and Blessings

Topics & Questions: Patriarchal Blessings

Gospel Study Guide: Patriarchal Blessings

The Stake Patriarch by Boyd K. Packer

When to Receive Your Patriarchal Blessing by Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita

Your Patriarchal Blessing: A Liahona of Light by Thomas S. Monson