Clumsy Things

I just got jury summons. Y’all, I get jury summons every two years. Every single time my name goes back in the pool - you know that one that’s supposed to be “random” - I get summons. This is the 7th time I’ve had jury summons since becoming an adult. Convince me it’s not rigged. Go ahead. Try me. I feel like I’m being picked on, and I have my conspiracy theories, but I won’t explain them here because there are better things to discuss. 

My brain is fried right now, jury summons is the last thing I need. Between that and the McDonald’s drive thru line taking too long yesterday, methinks the straw hath broken the camel’s back.

Anyway, I’ve had a busy couple of weeks, and I admit, I took on too much, and it affected my ability to function. I tend to be clumsy by nature, but it gets really bad when I take on too much. Here are some incidents from the past few days…

Incident #1: 

I went to Sam’s Club and decided to get a drink while I was there. I filled my cup with Diet Dr. Pepper and then somehow ended up spilling it all over my cart. I had to gather napkins to wipe off my merchandise and the floor below my cart. Before I spilled, I grabbed a handful of straws to put in my glove box (the other day McDonald’s didn’t give me a straw, and I didn’t have an extra in my van). While I was pushing may cart out to my van, all of the straws fell through the cart and onto the ground. Then when I got to my van, the eggs had Dr. Pepper still dripping from the grooves of the carton and that got all over the passenger seat.

Incident #2:

I made pumpkin rolls to sell (this is my 4th year), and whenever I make pumpkin rolls, I get a little scatterbrained after the first batch. I make a 6x recipe each time, so as I mixed up my second batch, I couldn’t remember if I’d added the baking soda or not. Then as I tested a roll to see if it baked up properly (to determine if I’d added the soda), I realized I’d shorted the batter by 2 cups of sugar. Additionally, I accidentally added too much salt to one batch. 

While I was baking, I got powdered sugar on every surface of my kitchen. It was like a bomb went off. Do you know what happens to powdered sugar when you try to clean it up? It gets sticky! Even with hot, soapy water, it takes a few wipe downs to thoroughly clean up that amount of powdered sugar. It was just a big mess, but I was able to make and sell 29 pumpkin rolls (I sold out on Facebook in 15 minutes!)

Incident #3: 

After baking pumpkin rolls for two days straight, I was washing my baking pans and somehow dumped water from a pan onto my pill container (which was sitting next to the sink), and all of my pills got saturated. So in addition to being clumsy and scatterbrained all week, I’ve also been unmedicated. 

(But I’m fine and have now gotten all my refills).

Incident #4:

I missed my daughter’s dress rehearsal for dance (I had no idea it was dress rehearsal) and then took my other daughter to dance at the wrong time (they changed the class time and I had no idea). Both girls were absolutely traumatized by this.

Incident #5: 

While making pumpkin rolls, I bought a 10 lb bag of sugar and when I got home from the store, the bag had ripped open in the trunk (it rubbed against the hardware of my collapsible wagon) and spilled everywhere.

I haven’t cleaned that up yet. 

Incident #6: 

This is not a one-time occurrence, but over and over during the past week I have dropped my credit cards out of my wallet onto the ground as well as a handful of receipts from my purse. I also dropped my popcorn during one of The Music Man shows and dropped an egg on the counter while making breakfast the other day. 

Incident #7:

I made pumpkin chocolate chip bread on Sunday to give to the directors of The Music Man, and when I put the oil in the mixer (2 cups of it), I missed and poured it all over the counter.

Incident #8: 

While refilling my stapler the other day, I managed to do this:

Why did I stop and take a photo? 

I just had to because it was so unbelievable. I work with a staple gun at work and have never stapled myself. Then I change staples in a regular, old, household stapler and somehow embed a staple deep in my thumb. 

It didn’t hurt until I removed it.

Incident #9:

This one is TMI, so I’ll give you the short version. I flung my menstrual cup across my bathroom. How does that happen? I don’t even know. 

I think I need a long nap.