“Some kids who are younger than me have armpit hair. It’s harsh, man!”
- Zoe
__________
“Mommy, are you proud of me? I’m a woman. I have woman hair in my armpits.”
-Eva, when she noticed her peach fuzz
__________
“Old people flirting is so weird.”
-Nicky
__________
“We should use ground beef instead of hamburger to make some burgers.”
-Daisy
__________
“Tyler always says penis, but don’t worry, I told him he needs to say balls instead.”
-Eva
___________
“From now on I need you to give me gift receipts for all my birthday presents.”
-Zoe
__________
“Why was I born in a hospital instead of a bamboo forest?”
-Eva
__________
Me (singing): “Country roads, take me home, to the place where I belong…”
Zoe: West Vagina!
Me: Oh, honey, it’s Virginia. VIR.GIN.IA.
__________
“It’s so unfair. Everyone in my class gets to eat seaweed but me!”
-Eva
__________
“I need to know what you plan on giving my kids for their birthdays so I can make sure it’s appropriate.”
-Zoe
__________
“Is preschool still a thing after all these years?”
-Zoe
___________
“I guess I didn’t scrape off all my dirty.”
-Nicky, after seeing how dirty his feet still were after his post YM camp shower
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