Welcome to Day Five of Draft Week.
I always have a running draft of awkward situations in the works. I save up until it’s long enough to post, and what better time is there to click publish than during the made-up event of Draft Week? Let the awkwardness begin…
(Does the fact that this is my thirteenth edition of “awkward” posts give anyone an idea of just how awkward my life is? I keep thinking that these lists will dwindle down over time, but no! I have ever-flowing content).
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When you're using a one-person restroom at a food establishment, and you need a minute, but there's an entire family outside the door waiting to storm the premises.
When everyone is getting ready for the dance concert and talking about how cute the Wednesday and Pugsley costumes are, but you thought they were pilgrims and pirates.
When you have a moment where you're the center of attention, and you kind of love it, and you're like OHMYGOSHAMIANEXTROVERT???
(You're not).
When someone doesn't yield for you as a pedestrian in a parking lot, but then she drives by and enthusiastically waves... because she's you're sister-in-law.
When your friend has a twin, and you see the twin at the grocery store, and the twin doesn't know you, and you have to remind yourself this each time you turn down an aisle and walk past her, and she doesn't say hello.
When you're at a restaurant and the lady in the booth behind you is talking in depth about her dog's vomit (it was yellow. He ate a pencil).
When you sell your car to your neighbor, and it breaks down the first time they drive it.
When you're fishing your locker key out of your bra at the gym, and someone walks around the corner and makes eye contact with you.
When someone says, "If you know, you know." And you really don't know. In fact, you don't even know enough to google it later so you can know.
And last but not least...
When you see a condom package sitting on the ping pong table at the gym, and you really want to remove it, but you don't want anyone to see you take it, but twenty minutes later it's still there, and you feel responsible for keeping the facility family-friendly, so you subtly swipe it into your hand and straight into the garbage, but as you walk away, you realize a child could be born because of you, and you don't know if that child will be a blessing or a curse to the world.
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