Suits Me, Suits Me Not

Amazon is alway advertising t-shirts to me, and sometimes I can’t help but scroll through them. A few days ago, I went down the t-shirt rabbit hole a bit, and while doing so, I was mentally labeling them “shirts that suit me” and “shirts that don’t.” Most shirts fall in the middle, and I’m entirely indifferent toward them, but there are a few that are so me and a few that are so not me. 

A few examples…

Does not suit me: any message that has to do with sleeping late or staying up all night

I’m a morning person, which is a strange lifestyle according to most people I associate with, so I can never wear a shirt that lies about my relationship with sleep.

Suits me: mourning Pluto’s status as a planet

I shouldn’t care, but for some reason, I’m among those who are truly sad that Pluto isn’t considered a planet anymore. It’s hard when something you’ve been taught your whole life ceases to be true. Just last week I was reading a book about the planets to Zoe and Eva, and the book had a whole spiel about how Pluto used to be considered a planet, and now it’s not. I explained to Zoe and Eva that when I was a kid, Pluto was a planet, and they were like “Whoa! You must be really old.”

Speaking of which…

Suits me: old people jokes

There are a select few age-related comments on t-shirts that really reach my soul - this being one of them. When I was a teenager, I thought people in their late 30’s/early 40’s were so old. There really was no difference to me between a 38-year-old and a 78-year-old. They were all the same.

Does not suit me: “whoop there it is”

It’s whoomp. WHOOMP! 

Suits me: no comment

Doesn’t suit me: shirts that say I’m cold

Being cold is rarely an issue for me. Based on the amount of sweat running down my back at church every week, a more appropriate graphic would read, “Hottest Woman in the Ward.”

Suits me: no comment (again)

Suits me: blunt and humorous

Sometimes you just need to tell it like it is.