The other day, I wrote a little about depression, and I mentioned that recently I’d been struggling with my place in my ward (i.e. church congregation). I felt like I’d “expired” in my ward and had nothing left to give and no more purpose there. There is still some truth to that, but I’m in a better place now (September/October Britt was a different story). In my Church, our congregations are geographical, so we have an assigned congregation we are asked to attend based on where we live. When you live in the same place for a long time, you really get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly in your church congregation, and you have to learn to love each other through it. You know what it reminds me of? A family.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately as I’ve tried to realign myself with what the Lord wants for me in my ward. In one change of events, I got a new Church calling (a calling is a Church “job”). I was serving as the Young Women 1st counselor, but last month, I was changed to secretary. For personal reasons, this is a much better place for me right now.
When I was first called to YW a year ago, we, as a new presidency, were asked to speak in sacrament meeting. I was told I could speak on whatever I wanted! (I’ve never had such freedom. In fact, having only spoken in sacrament a few times in my entire life, I’ve been given the same topic THREE of those times, and TWICE, I was given the exact same talk as a reference. Is there something I need to learn?) Anyway, I prayed about the topic and felt prompted to speak on being part of a “ward family.”
I knew from the getgo that I needed the talk. I hadn't been contributing positively to my ward family and needed to repent and get back in line. This morning, I stumbled across that talk on my computer, reread it, and realized, I needed it again and will always and forever need this message, so I decided I wanted to share it here. I feel kind of silly posting a sacrament meeting talk - as if I’m saying, “What I have to say is so important that it belongs on the internet!” - but I thought this would be a good place to store it because I often go back through my archives and revisit memories from past years, so publishing my sacrament talk here will probably result in me stumbling across it someday when I need the message again. I'll be copying and pasting from a Word document (and then making a few edits to make it "readable," so there will be strange formatting since copy & paste is not a feature that goes over well on Blogger (IFYKYK).
Here are a few statements that may ring true:
We don’t get to choose our family
Sometimes our families see us at our worst
I can say what I want about my family, but no one else better say anything bad about my family!
Sometimes I am surrounded by family but still feel lonely
Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in my family
Being part of a family can sometimes be hard. When we are that close to a group of people, we become very acquainted with each other’s faults and weaknesses. Sometimes we might struggle to know our place.
Today I’m going to share a bit about a special familial situation that we all have in common, and that is: belonging to a “ward family.” The ward family is the basic ecclesiastical unit to which we all belong as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As members of a ward family, sometimes we can experience some of the same challenges as a family of origin.
Let me share those earlier statements again, this time with a ward family twist:
We don’t get to choose our ward family
Sometimes our ward families see us at our worst
I can say what I want about my ward family, but no one else better say anything bad about my ward family!
Sometimes I am surrounded by ward family but still feel lonely
Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in my ward family
Our ward family is varied and diverse. We have members with unique talents and gifts. We have different opinions, life experiences, and needs. Some of us have depression and other mental or emotional difficulties, some of us are struggling with deep questions about the gospel, some of us are battling illness or the effects of an aging mortal body. We have members who are mourning. We have members from varying career and educational paths. We have athletes, artists, and even a few rock stars.
The members of our ward family are all very different, but Sister Sharon Eubank of the General RS presidency taught, “The things we have in common as disciples of Christ are much more compelling and important than the labels that keep us segregated.”
In the apostle Paul’s time, Church members in the city of Corinth struggled to maintain unity, so Paul sought to help them unify through their belief in Christ. He wanted them to have more than just a peaceful coexistence. Rather, he taught that when you join the Church of Jesus Christ, you are “baptized into one body,” and every part is needed.
Now, maybe we sometimes feel like we aren’t a vital part of that body. Maybe we feel like we’re a weird, hairy mole instead of a life-sustaining organ or a useful limb.
Jeffrey R. Holland said, “It is an immensely satisfying thing to be needed in the body of Christ. Whether I function as an eye or arm is irrelevant. The fact is, I am needed in this most majestic organism, and the body is imperfect without me.”
Let me rephrase that: You are needed in this most majestic organism, and the body is imperfect without you!
Elder Holland continues, “In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints… people do need people… This includes not only the attractive, talented members, but those of us who seem to have fewer gifts and face greater challenges, those who receive less honor and attention. Every member matters and the less favored member most of all.”
Once there was a little boy who begged his mom to play darts with him. The mom said to the boy, “I don’t know how to play darts. You’ll have to tell me what to do.” The boy said, “It’s easy, Mom. I throw the darts, and you stand over there and watch me and say, “Wonderful! Wonderful!””
Sometimes we may feel like we have nothing to contribute to our ward family. Life circumstances might inhibit our ability to serve in certain callings. Other people may seem far more capable and talented. But the truth is, each of us can contribute to our ward family in some way - even if, for a time, all we can do is be the encouraging person who stands back and says, “Wonderful! Wonderful!” Some of us have talents and gifts that aren’t as celebrated or acknowledged by the world as others - for example, the ability to make others feel “seen” or “heard,” the gift of recognizing the needs of others, or the gift of forgiveness.
Can you imagine someone competing on America’s Got Talent and when the judges ask, “What will you be doing for us today?” they say, “I’m going to forgive!” That person probably wouldn’t make it very far in the competition, yet, it’s a very special and much-needed trait to be able to willingly forgive others. There are so many quiet, behind the scenes actions that sometimes go unnoticed but make a huge difference in our ward family.
Sister Eubank said, “Wards can be socially safe places with people disposed to care for us and forgive us... A ward family gives us a chance to interact and bond with people we otherwise may not understand… Consider this: you have no idea the power you yourself have over the tone and example of your own ward.
“There’s nobody exactly like you, and if you’re bold enough to inquire, I believe you’ll be swamped with impressions about your purpose - more than you ever thought possible.”
Nearly 30 years ago, Sister Virginia Pearce (Gordon B. Hinckley’s daughter and a member of the General YW Presidency at the time) gave a talk in General Conference about being part of a ward family. She stated, “Heavenly Father expects us to participate in our wards. It is part of the plan. 'But Sister Pearce,' you may be saying, 'You have such an idealistic picture of a ward - that’s not like my ward!' You mean, your ward has real people in it? Ones who are sometimes selfish or self-righteous? Unskilled or undependable? I’m so glad! How could it be a real laboratory for practicing gospel principles like patience, long-suffering, charity, and forgiveness if there were no people or situations that would require the use of these principles? The miracle of it all is that we are real people put into an ingenious structure designed by God to help us become like Him.”
I like the points she makes:
That our ward family is comprised of imperfect people
Because of our imperfections, being part of a ward family gives us a place to practice and improve our Christlike traits and qualities
In his conference talk titled “Poor Little Ones” earlier this year, Elder Jorge Becerra said, “In each ward and branch, we need everyone - those who may be strong and those who are perhaps struggling. All are necessary to the vital edification of the entire body of Christ. I often wonder who we are missing in our various congregations that would strengthen us and make us whole.”
I would like to close with one last quote from Sister Sharon Eubank, and this I feel summarizes the message I’d like to leave with each of you today, “The Lord sees you. You’re not invisible to Him. He loves your efforts that no one else may see. You’re valuable, and He treasures you in all your quirks and individuality. If you trust your life to Him, His hand will guide you every step of the way until you are happy and at peace with all the desires of your heart.”
I testify that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know and love each member of our ward family. I pray that we can love each other more perfectly as we share this mortal experience and as we continue to learn, grow, and serve together.
This is good stuff. Thanks for sharing. I am certainly in need of this reminder!
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