When an Amazon man knocks on your car window and keeps motioning for you to move your car, and you just smile at him like, “What is your problem, dude?” and then you realize his blue vest says “Parking Enforcement” and not Amazon.
When your mother-in-law constantly tells you how tired you look on days you’re not even tired.
When you use a public restroom and find out too late that there’s no toilet paper, and you have to get creative with items in your purse.
When you go to restaurant, and the sign says, "Seat yourself," so you do, but no one ever comes to serve you.
When you see a delivery person on your Ring doorbell throwing your package onto your porch from the lawn.
When your sister-in-law sends out a group text with a picture of a hairbrush and asks, “Did one of you leave this at my house?” and you have to respond, “I gave that to you for Christmas.”
When you’re eating at Wendy’s and an old lady walks in wearing a shirt with “boo-bees” on it, and you’re not sure if she understands or if her grandkids pulled a fast one on her.
When you’re at the beach, and there’s a lady asleep in the sand next to you for two hours wearing nothing on bottom.
When you go to a fancy restaurant with your husband’s team from work, and you’re starving, and there’s a plate of calamari appetizers, but you’ve already had some, and there are six people who haven’t arrived yet, so you have to leave it alone so they can have some, too, but when they finally get there, none of them take any, and you just sit there staring at it longingly while it gets cold and soggy.
When you’re in the middle of a sentence, and the person you’re talking to turns and starts talking to someone else, and you have to decide whether to finish your statement without an audience or just let it fizzle.
When a fast food employee tells you to “Have the world’s greatest day!” and you drive away feeling confused about why they have such high demands for you.
When you get out to the parking lot and find that the person in the car next to you is loading their car on your side, and you just have to decide whether to stand there while they finish or take the long way.
And for Scotty...
When you're at the beach, and you go to use the restroom, and there are no doors on the stalls, but it’s desperate times, so you just keep your head down and do what you gotta do.
No comments:
Post a Comment