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Thursday, November 17, 2022

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (part IX)

When you’re halfway through your daughter’s orthodontist appointment, and you realize you only put make-up on one eye.

When you’re listening to an Old Testament podcast, and the hosts keep talking about someone named Easy Kill, and you’ve never heard of someone in the Old Testament called Easy Kill, so you just go with it until half-way through the show, you finally figure out that they’re saying Ezekiel.

When you misplace your phone for an hour, and you’re absolutely positive that it will be full of texts when you find it, and then no one has actually contacted you at all.

When an elderly lady at Walmart asks you for help, and you try to assist her, and eventually you realize she thinks you work there, but you’ve let it go on to the point where you’re worried about embarrassing her, so you just do your best to help her find what she needs and hope Walmart acknowledges your spontaneous employment with a check in the mail.

When you’re at a pool, and you see someone reading a book, and you want to know what it is, so you stare a bit too long, and then she looks up at you, and you make eye contact, and it seems a lot like you just got caught checking out her boobs in her swimming suit.

When you’re wearing heels, and you misjudge the distance lowering yourself to the toilet, and you plummet the last two inches, resulting in a sound that very much makes you worry you just broke the toilet.

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